Practically a DPxDC Blog

He is literally a blob, maybe one developing eye or maybe he is blind and has a little antenna. When he grows into a more mature eldritch being it will either fall off when his third eye develops or continue growing to eventually be used as a lure like an angler fish.

Due to cosmic shenanigans Constantine is watching over Danny during the equivalent of tummy time for the baby eldritch. The Flash being like he's so ugly, where can I get one? He keeps poking an annoyed Danny who decides he's had enough and inhales like Kirby and their speedster is gone.

Constantine: this is why you don't poke baby eldritch monsters, let alone one that's annoyed by you Speedsters who knows better than to mess with time.

Baby blob Danny: *drooling*

Constantine: don't worry, he's not eating him he's just using him as a teething toy. Once we burp him he'll throw the speedster right up and everything else he ate to chew on.

Person: …

Paulina? Pity he doesn't think much of it she just dated him for the fun of it and to humiliate him. Unfortunate but it happens

Valerie. Girl tried to hunt Danny's phantom side. Concerning but not out of the ordinary as long as he makes sure she doesn't end him. He still wants him as his son after all.

Sam. This is where it's getting concerning. This girl does not only like your phantom side only but has killed you TWICE?! Daniel I think it's time we have a talk about how your relationship is the equivalent of me dating Jack except he's super into plasmus.

Dash. Daniel I believe we need to have a very important conversation about abusive relationships and red flags.

Wes. Daniel I'm starting to doubt your ability to think. That's the boy who's constantly trying to expose your identity

Then in continues on. and on vlad successfully breaking up Danny with whatever partner he has with Danny pouting asking for the reason being mad as Vlad looks at him dead in the eyes as he slowly explains his reasoning and Danny can't even be mad because what does have a point unlike other times (he's still salty that he had to break up with Wes though)

Unfortunately Jezz has the same taste and Vlad believes it's due to her influence that Danny is like this. So he talks to Jazz and figures out she's lesbian and gets her to date a nice girl that she actually likes.

Vlad hopes with jazz being in a good stable relationship Danny will learn. Unfortunately he did not as the next time he saw him was again with Wes who made danny a memory book of all the things he had in his childhood.

Vlad does not want to learn how he managed to acquire items that had been lost years ago.

With Danny's parents permission he moves them to Wisconsin in the hopes that Danny will find or somehow gain better taste in a new area.

The ninja assassin proposing to Daniel after a month of dating did not help.

Vlad: Daniel you cannot be seriously thinking of accepting that proposal are you?

Danny: well he's nice! Really cute as well treated me better than all my previous partners isn't that what you wanted?

Vlad: think Daniel. It's only been a month and he's already asking you to marry him. Next thing you know you have kids with him and then he leaves you after losing interest. This is love bombing I assumed you knew this from your parents after experiencing it for years. How long did it even take you to date him?

Danny: *looking down in shame* three days... But according to his culture committing to one person for life is normal! Like true love and the fairy tales you know?

Vlad: Daniel he's in a cult. A cult with a old man with corrupted ectoplasm interested in me. You are not marrying into a cult.

It only gets worse from there he moves to Gotham hoping that was at jazz going to university there and Danny's obsession with protecting people will distract him from dating. It did not. He went for the commissioners son that's supposed to be in prison (I don't know much about him or his age I just know that Gordon had a son that is in prison for some reason)

Vlad is pulling out his hair and as plasmius practically forcing the commissioner to find his son more quickly while venting over alcohol about Danny's horrendous taste in men to which commissioner Gordon pats his back sympathetically.

When they break up he doesn't think it can get worse. Until a year later when Danny introduces him to the red hood who she had been dating for a couple of months. Vlad already feels his eye bags returning as Daniel starts ranting about how the red hood is actually different from his previous partners and that he's actually green flag.

Since the red hood is one of the bats he cannot intervene unless he has solid evidence of something going on. At least the bat will help him if something does happen.

Years later he's at their wedding walking Danny down the aisle as Danny makes a speech about thanking Vlad for guiding him to Jason.

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

She finds out Luther actually has a kid. The kid has powers. And that the kid looks a lot like her husband.

Lex: In my years battling that Blue Boyscout, I have learned one very crucial rule to follow. Keep your Friends Close, and your Enemies Closer.

Danny: What does this have to do with me?

Lex: Danny you have strength comparable to Superman's, Intellect that can give mine a minor challenge, and more Superpowers than the entire Justice League put together. The entire reason I hate Superman is because he is a God among men, and I don't believe in God's. By all rights, you should be my Enemy.

Danny: And?

Lex: Like I said, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And there is no way to keep you to me closer than Marriage. Should you accept you will assume parental rights to Conner, as well as-

Danny: I accept. There's no need to keep going, I was sold the moment you asked.

Lex: ...well that's perfect then. Here are the Papers.

Danny: Right...and...done. I'll get back to Conner, see you later my Husband.

Well, this particular blob ghost hangs aroung Gotham, bouncing imperceptibly around Crime Alley and feeding on all the startlingly arrayed emotions there. It latches onto one source in particular, a recently moved-into-the-neighborhood Halfa and honorary Outlaw Danny Phantom, who has a huge goopy crush on the Red Hood.

As it turns out, that huge goopy crush has a transformative impact on how our blob ghost manifests. Hence: Fatson Todd.

Whether Danny, Jason, or some Bat finds him first, it's going to be a fun time.

Danny will just have to figure out, though, how he can spin this very damning turn of events into something less mortifying.

Danny, projecting all his feelings towards Jason onto this little blob, because they're friends and Danny doesn't want to risk losing him as a friend if he confesses. Because Danny is still a little younger, a little softer, not quite at the level of emotional maturity, that possible rejection of romantic affections doesn't mean a friendship would go up in flames.

The audacity of this punk. Jason set the pitcher of filtered water - filter upgraded with Bat-tech, because who knew what the fuck in Gotham’s water supply made it past the city’s filtration and your standard Brita - down on the counter with a little more force than usual. A hard breath vented through his nose while he watched the scene playing out in front of him. 

This safehouse was a studio, which meant that from where he stood in the kitchen he had an uninterrupted sightline on the idiot fuck he’d invited here and the other, littler, more infuriating idiot fuck that he hadn’t invited. Phantom - Danny - floated about a half-inch over his couch, tossing the pretender blob ghost up into the air, cooing when it flew back to him with enthusiasm. 

Complete with flailing, stubby little limbs, spherical body modeled after Jason’s own Red Hood getup wobbling, wide eyes watery and stupid no matter what the hell was happening around him. Damian, the traitor, had taken to calling the thing Fatson Todd. 

He’d almost run him through with the All Blades for that. Damian or Fatson, it didn’t matter particularly to him. 

What did matter was that, despite having spent the last month all but waving a Pride flag in Phantom’s face, tossing rose petals at him or - even more absurdly - actually telling Danny that he wanted to take him out in the way he usually didn’t mean, Phantom hadn’t gotten the message. He would have been tempted to think the other was just trying to let him down easy, pride of the other kind intact, except Phantom reacted to all his hints, tells, and advances with everything short of actual recognition. 

Deep green blushes, clawed hands scratching nervously at the back of his neck, the ambient temperature dipping with his emotional spikes. It was pretty telling. 

And yet, here Phantom was, playing with the damned blob instead of the six-foot wall of muscle and chiseled jawline that was trying, very earnestly, not to blow the fuck up. 

“Gah, Ancients, aren’t you just the sweetest thing?” Phantom laughed, falling back so that the axis of his levitation shifted by nearly ninety degrees when Fatson barreled into his chest. “I could just love on you all day. You’d like that, wouldn’t you Fatson?”

Phantom then pinched the blob’s imitation cheeks. Jason seethed. The usurper hadn’t let him get a proper hour alone with Phantom since he’d been found and promptly delivered to him. When Fatson wasn’t with Phantom, he was with Jason and flaunting the comedy of errors that had been his attempts to End the little thing with a deliberacy that Jason knew was there behind his wide, vacant eyes. 

Like - Jason gaped - just now. Fatson looked up from Danny’s ministrations, met Jason’s eyes, and began to babble cheerily, core resonating with the frequency that Jason had only recently been learning to parse but which undeniably elicited excitement, love, mine mine mine. 

And in Jason’s own safehouse. 

He met the little ecto-bastard’s eyes and aggressively mimed slitting his throat. 

The gesture ceased, though, as soon as Danny followed Fatson’s gaze across the way to Jason. “Oh, Jay, would you grab one of those ecto-cicles from the freezer? I think your kid’s earned a snack.”

He fought valiantly not to grimace. This was the other indignity he’d been suffering lately: Phantom’s insistence that Fatson was somehow Jason’s son. All because Jason was unwilling to get the thing in front of Danny when he was so clearly enamored with it. It had taken all of his willpower not to explode when Danny claimed that, since Fatson had gained the ecto necessary for corporeality from him and had modeled himself after Jason, he was their. kid. 

“Sure,” he tried not to grit his teeth. “Anything for the kid.”

“That’s why you’d make such a good dad,” Danny said, then seemed to cringe, dark green spreading high across his cheekbones, before returning his attention to Fatson with a vengeance. 

He was going to lose it. 

“Aren’t you just the handsomest boy? The sweetest?”

He was going to fucking lose it. 

“I love you so much Fatson,” Danny’s voice lowered, but not enough that Jason couldn’t catch it. “My special boy -”

Before Jason was quite aware of what he was doing, he’d crossed the room, scruffed the imposter by the back of his fake ecto collar, and tossed him back over his shoulder -

and sat, squarely and heavily, in Phantom’s lap. 

Publishing House of The Dead. Zone Labels. Infinity Art.

Just?? What Artist would be happy with their Life's Work(tm) sitting where they left it, on that shelf, WHERE THEY CANT REACH IT, after they died? They want people to SEE it. Experience it!

And the ENTIRE PLANETS of people? Wailing and knashing their teeth? All of their CULTURE! Their MASTERPIECES and great works! LOST to the cosmos as so much ASH when the planet exploded?! NOOOOOOO!

Ember McLain is NOT unusual. I bet there are DISTRICTS of artists like her. Countless support groups. More appearing every day.

If you made your planet's Single Greatest Art Piece, something literally EVERYONE for COUNTLESS CENTURIES acknowledged was unequivocally The Best, and you learned later that very piece, which WAS YOUR LIFES WORK, was destroyed in the fall of your planet... would YOU be able to let it go?

You spent every day of most of your life working on that. Got up at dawn, walked past the market to get an early deal on supplies and a meal, up the same hill to your work shop, past the same flowering trees, along the same winding path, to work until you could barely hold your tools. Every day. Each day.

Bit by bit, revealing something wonderous to the air. Breathing LIFE into the vision in your heart.

The King of the ENTIRE PLANET himself said it was the single most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed. Called you the greatest Master of all Arts. You can still remember how you wept. The beauty of the celebrations. The softness of the sash you were given.

......gone?

That statue, which stood before the palace itself? A place of incredible honor? Placed so, by the King Himself, that his people may always see beauty? Know wonder? A statue which you are told, inspired thousands of stories, countless loves and artworks and changes?

......GONE?

How can it be GONE? Never to be viewed again? Lost to even memory! No. NO!

You will make it AGAIN! Copy or not, the impact of your works SHALL NOT BE LOST!

And of course, others would follow suit. Dead historians commission copies, dead artists continuing to work, dead everyman with nothing BUT time... learning to create just to recreate their Obsession.

But! It's all still trapped in the Zone... right?

Until? Ember. Rocker? Yes. But PUNK first. Fuck your Rules, she WILL perform her Songs. Her ART. Ember is her creation, her stage persona, someone who will live on in memory FOREVER.

GDI get out of her WAY, kid! They have to HEAR her MUSIC!

And Danny does NOT get out of the way. He GETS it. Her music is AWESOME. He would LOVE to let her share it with the world if he could, but he's not about to let you go-

And? Ember stops dead where she's trying to brain him with a guitar. Wait. Scrappy lil shit say what? Repeat that.

And look... Danny's tired. It's Embers maybe a hundredth thousandth attempt. He BARELY graduated college last night and has NO prospects. He SHOULD, his degrees are the kind that should basicly print money. But... you know... Fenton Last Name. Constantly running off to fight ghosts.

Only became legally recognized again like...a week and a half ago.

He's basicly a pack mule for his own college debt and sleep deficiency. No jobby for the Danny. He Cranky. But he tries not to be an asshole about it. Cause he GETS it. Ember can't help it. She NEEDS to do this. It's Important to her. More then anything else could ever possibly be.

She's fighting for her music, which is EVERYTHING for her.

So yeah, if it weren't for the "stripping people of their free will without consent" thing? Have at it man. Be super famous. Fuck it, he'd even hel- He gets tackle hugged out of the sky. Bruises several ribs.

.....ow.

That night he sends back Ember who is loudly and excitedly chatting about how she "can't wait to tell the gang". He thinks she means Kitty and Johnny, maybe his other rouges. He is... VERY wrong.

Tucker, who may or may NOT have been widely black listed for some "Light Hacking" (cowards) is all for helping out while he saves up to start his own tech company. Sam, without being told, somehow already knows and has started putting the word out. She's gotten scarier since making that non-aggresion pact with Paulina. They are informed she's incharge of the negotiations.

Apparently they're "too nice". Which... Hey. She's not WRONG, mind you, but... Mean. They retaliate with sad animal memes. Then realize they are getting distracted and should go to bed.

Obviously...they play DOOM instead.

The harsh light of morning is cruel. But the kitchen stuffed with Ember's Dead Rockers Buddies is crueler. They ate his breakfast leftovers, man. They don't even NEED to eat. Why would you do this?

Apparently his inability to spilt out a record label at 6am must be punished. Because they entice his parents with their evil, evil "Warm And Genuine Interest In Your Music" Rocker ways. His parents break out their band stuff. At 6 am. He's had... three hours of sleep.

Ember. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

It takes ALL DAY to get everything sorted, break up the impromptu "Rock Sesh", get all of the OUT OF HIS HOUSE, and signed under the newly created Zone Lables.

He goes to sleep.

Opens his eyes to several dead pop stars and a handful of anxious but polite Martians. They hate to be a bother....

Then it's viking bards. Imperial players. Mongolian throat singers. Mesopotamia performers.

There is apparently a CUE.

That's BEFORE Ghost Writer DRAMATICLY~☆ shoves his way forward! He? Will be HEARD! Ghost Child!

He represents the WRITERS of the Zone. And they demand to know why the Musicians are getting special treatment!

He is hip checked by The Painter, a ghost Danny is only vaaaugely familiar with by can recognize on sight... from... well... all the paint. The Painter demands to know much the same. Explain yourself small half child, half other child!

Danny already has a headache and he's not even out of bed yet. He holds up a finger. Gets out of bed. Pulls on pants. THEN answers.

It's obviously not good enough. The morning devolves in to dramatic yelling, sobbing into paint stained rags, accusations of favoritism. And, most damning, sneering distain for one another's ascot choices. It nearly ends in blood on the floors.

And that's BEFORE the Observant pops in, AGAIN, to harrass him about "wah wah wah You gotta be king because we WHINED at yoooou" or something.

READ A ROOM.

So now Danny has THREE Companies in just as many days. He doesn't even have employees yet. Or a studio. Art house. A publishing press! This is... Fine(tm).

He checks his phone. Tucker was able to use Ember's already recorded new songs but it took him a bit to transfer them to non-ghost technology. They should up on sale by no..w...

That is a lot of zeros.

Danny: So... We can afford a building right? And uh, staff? Pauline: YES!! Yes we can!

Sam: Our graduating class first? Most of us can't get a job. What with the whole fought the government and did crimes to win things.

Tucker: Yeah. Sounds good. I'll get to making a site for us!

Maybe later down the line they can organize conventions... panels about art history of each represented society... meet and greets...

Honestly amity park should build a big convention centre and constantly have events planned.

Academic conferences with talks by the ghosts that revolutionized the area of interest. Religious,military and political leaders, scientists and artists. Imagine being able to question artists about their lives and deatails of their works.

But also imagine being a historian and getting hit with the "oh EVERYONE knows that! No silly questions. Now, does anyone have a SERIOUS academic question?" When you ask about one of those things NO ONE WROTE DOWN?

Just.... *sound of your notepad being ripped in two* *Ferals in Academia, goes for the ghost throat*

Cause? There is no rhythm or reason to becoming a ghost! It just is a Cosmic Yes/No random chance. So you get, like, 12th century farmers like "oh! I know the dude you're talking about! No, no, I wasn't into politics... but my sister slept with him. Can I interest you in my Obsession with meads?"

And like? The CHALLENGE of trying to produce Alien Art? Yeah, sorry, you gotta sign this consent form... the art show might concuss you. Yeeeeah. It's Martian. Half of the experience is telepathic broadcasting of beauty and complexe social issues, while you look at corresponding clay or plantlife pieces.

Oh! Also this form. Cause you're supposed to eat one of the pieces and we're not sure humans can fully digest it. Welcome to the show!

Tell me. TELL ME the art scene would not go FERAL. The periods of Art from DIFFERENT PLANETS? How do the mimic our own? How can we BLEND them? The must touch and lick and EXPERIENCE THE ART! LET THEM IIIIIIIIIN!!!!!

And like? Every book a banger when you are literally printing a planets Historical Best. People would be out here DEVASTATED by their new blorbos. Unable to cope.

But ALSO ALSO.

Fucking Kryptonian Weeaboos.

Clark NEVER saw it coming and honestly he SHOULD have. EVERYONE knows Superman's story. He's their Beloved Savior. The PERFECT, SPECIALIEST BOY.

Give them the Kryptonian Books. The Art Pieces. The Music. Do they even like them on their own merit? Irrelevant. They are horrifying SuperStans, coating their houses in Kryptonian merch. It's like walking into a house and seeing hundreds a wall scrolls and "Asian" decor.

Oh.... Oh No(tm).

Krypton was a whole ass planet. With COUNTRIES. Time periods! Why are these all... oh god this is a SuperStan house. I gotta gooooo >.> *shoves breadsticks into bag*

But on the OTHER hand? The? Agonizingly poignant and beautiful painted(animated) movies from planets people physically can not pronounce? About inheritances and mortality and love and loss and bravery and just? All acted out by this artful praying mantis looking species that also sorta looks like living stained glass? And afterwards NO ONE is okay?

It's subtitled and the dialouge sounds like clicking whale song read through a bone flute.

It's free on YouTube, by the artists demand. Makes for great advertising.

Can you imagine how ABSURDLY and HIGHLY Coveted the job openings would be? Every release would damn near make news if not ACTUALLY make news.

Ghost Actors. ALIEN ghost actors. You want to make a movie about superman? The fall of Krypton? A little poignant tale of hubris? Yeah, you can probably find Actual Kryptonians to consult with. Shape shifters for certain difficult roles.

Undead stuntman.

And Danny? Doesn't WANT another company! Stop it! Cease! Denied!

Why are you DOING THIS TO HIM?! He has like... *checks his list* TOO MANY! *chucks list at you* Already! There are OTHER PEOPLE!

But there are nooooot. HE is the one Ember Trusts(tm). HE is The Guy They Know. The one that fought with them against PARIAH. That's One Of Them. He's part of The Community.

Their little Refuses-To-Be-King. He is to the Zone what Brucie "heart of gold, dumb of ass" Wayne is to Gotham. Their little bean. Their skungly little feral Racoon. HE ABSOLUTELY bites and the LOVE him. He's just? The Worst~♡ So Fussy. A complainy, wet blanket, fun police of a toddler with his grumpy wittle face.

The love him so muuuuuuch, guys. You don't understand.

And? Even when he whines and fusses at them and throws a FIT? He still DOES it! All they have to say is "This is really, REALLY important to me." And be honest about stuff and?? Bam! He will just help you! Complain, sass and grumble the WHOLE time but he DOES it! A marshmallow baby. Grumpiest marshmallow.

Danny hates it. He's richer then he's ever personally been, politicians are trying to schmooze him, Rich People think he's ONE of them, he's being HARRASED by reporters AND the Observants, and he's being buried alive in Work.

Vlad is actually being helpful. It's horrifying.

He actually SHOWED UP, took off his suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and proceeded to dig Danny out the possibly sentient piles of paperwork that was trying to digest him. Danny is actually LEARNING things as he works. Vlad is MENTORING him and not even being that smug about it.

He's a LITTLE smug, it's to be expected, but not terribly. GEE, Daniel, it's ALMOST like he KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING or something! Like he's run a MULTINATIONAL COMPANY FOR DECADES or something! But that couldn't be. Perish the thought. How are your parents? Helping much?

......if Danny buys lunch, will you stop gloating? (Danny buys lunch. Vlad is smug into his stir-fry.)

And the undead bodyguards? Totally a response to Grabby Reporters. Convenient too... since GHOSTS DISRUPT RECORDINGS. Up your Ecto at a reporter? Unusable footage. Paparazzi HATE them. Deep, DEEP loathing. Especially since Ecto-Friendly Cameras? Sold by Amity Companies. All of who know how to get AROUND the limits of their own devices.

Sure! Buy their cameras to use against them! They can just... overload them ANYWAY. Since they know the Hard Limits of the technology the sold to the civilian sectors. Unusable footaaaaaage~☆ Get *ghost expletives*~☆!

But like? The SECOND other celebrities see that? These Guards equal ACTUAL PRIVACY? Take their MONEY!! Give! PLEASE GIVE!!!

And TELL me. TELL ME people would not pay extra to be guarded by, like, Actual Samurai or Knights or Alien Warriors of old who call them "my lord" or "princess"?

The fights that would EXPLODE? The LoA would HATE this. Mercenaries would HATE this. These guards LITERALLY NEVER EAT OR SLEEP. They do not breathe. Drugging and poisons do NOTHING. They are actually EXCITED to fight you, not scared. Can phase through your weapons.

Imagine Danny's face when fuckin DEATHSTROKE shows up in his shitty little home office. Like? Come on, man. Really? THIS is what today is gonna throw at him?? But on the other hand... Distraction!

Could he take this guy? Probably. Not without outting himself. But still, Probably. Slade isn't even that surprised that the CEO of Haunting Gaurdians LLC. Is both a twig and a Meta. It honestly tracks. He's MET the Robin's. This has "young, batshit and didn't think this through" written all over it.

He still wants a list of who they're guarding. He needs to be able to charge accordingly. Danny says no. Is hoping this will make Slade try to force him. Maaaybe he'll get a Fight out of it. Jokes on him. Slade has actual decades on this little shit. He's here to fight dirty.

He sits down. Gets comfortable. Flips open a magazine.

Oh, you bastard.

Now the Bats keep DESTROYING HIS OFFICE trying to figure out what Deathstroke wants and trying to drive him off. Fucker keeps coming back. Danny my get a stress ulcer from keeping him and Vlad separated. Him and SAM separated. (Stop CONSIDERING IT, SAM! No hiring a mercenary to get rid of your enemies!) (but he's RIGHT THERE, DANNY)

Danny ends up having a hoard of secretaries and PA's. Because he desperately needs the help. His friends are in charge of individual sections of the overarching company. They have to use ghost magic to make sure their is enough room at first. Before they can expand. Danny is complaining. But.. Well. He is making his people happy. And safer than they ever have been. Making them loved? A valid part of Earth culture? Makes his core happily. He really wishes they would go to someone else though. He is so swamped!

You know what? He needs a brawl. Where is Skulker. He needs a good fight to let off steam. Maybe their film guys might like to record it as well. He's sure they could use a Phantom vs Skulker recording for something right? And bless Star. She decided to be his PA. She has perfected the art of seeming as dense as possible. EVERYONE not from Amity thinks she's a total Bimbo. Star is loving it. And uses the advantage ruthlessly.

Media companies would want Danny's head on a pike. Because they LITERALLY can not compete unless they offer REALLY good terms.

Amity? Would suck up all those small time directors, small time actors, small time EVERYTHING. The one's Hollywood currently meatgrinder.

Because Amity needs someone to play Warrior Prince of planet 9. Needs someone to hold the lights at 4 am. Needs this that and the other. AND? You can get GHOST actors? Basicly for FREE if they like your script.

Ghosts don't sleep. The ghost director can run 24/7, which means he needs SHIFTS of support workers. Jobs for EVERYBODY! And since THEY rarely give a damn about getting paid? Most of the profits go to the workers and into a group fund to pay to HIRE THEM AGAIN.

Steady employment.

And the thing is? You can't FORCE the ghosts to work for other people. They are CHOOSING to harrass Danny. To flood the world with planets and lifetimes of their work. It will take billions of years to run out. And by THEN? More will have been created.

Any indie director with a dream can go to Amity and make it BIG, if their story is a good one. Compared to "exploding cars 7: more explosions" ? Hollywood would start to die. Powerful, wealthy, selfish fuckwits would cry public about it.

Moral panic etc. Try to bribe legislators.

But it would be EVERYWHERE. And it's hard to demonize the books you literally see Superman and the Flash reading. Music you see sidekicks dancing to like goofs, belting along.

Pretty hard to scare monger about that Spooky Scary Cookbook from the 12th century your aunt bought you cause "you like cooking, right?" As though you're going to go out and hunt down rabbit and hogs so you can make use of it.

It's the second Renaissance. Only this time? It's global.

He would have done it under a fake ID, but he kinda wanted the success of having a Masters in English attached to the name he grew up with.

It's going pretty great, actually! He's making friends, gets to punch random paparazzi's in the face, and learning has always been fun for him.

But one of his college friends, Danny Fenton, is...weirdly obsessed with Wayne Manor?

Jason gets it, he does, the Manor is huge and of course the guy would want to see it as often as he could.

Then he starts to realize that Danny is strangely attentive to Bruce.

Like, actually flirting with Bruce.

Oh no his college friend, who is his age, is flirting with Bruce so hard it's making Bruce blush.

Danny: Really? At 3AM?

Damian: I was forced to watch your indecorous 'courting' of my Father. For the entirety of dinner!

Danny: Yeah, that's fair. My bad? Go ahead.

Damian: I have a list of questions. I WILL know if you lie.

But when Damian asks him if he has a pet, Danny says yes and no sadly.

He never had one because his house was too dangerous. BUT yes also, because it is partially occupied by a stray dog escape master who ended up considering him as "his 'human'". He says this with such nostalgia that Damian assumes the stray dog in question must not have had a good ending.

He can't take it he can't take maddie's SON to date another himbo please please chose someone else you like older men here a list of older SMART men please Daniel anyone but bruce

This just adds more fuel for danny to flirt at first it was just a joke to annoy Jason payback but Bruce's reactions cemented that danny was gonna continue flirting

…. but I'm sure they won't know when to stop and the two of them will end up married…

…extra points if the JL only finds out Danny's true identity because Constantine ended up screaming…

"Fucking Bat, how the hell did you end up as the king consort of the infinite kingdoms"

Danny: Just because I'm only 23, it doesn't mean I don't know what I want.

JLD: Do he mean 23, 230, or 2300??

Bruce: He means 23.

Bruce: Add to the fact that with my time lost in time, even you all are aware I'm technically much younger due to the effects of the particles during it.

Clark: Do the kids know?

Danny: Now why would we tell them that? When it's so much fun to make them all cringe?!

Clark: I should have expected that answer....

Crack posts.

Kitten Danny

Haunted Doll

Free Hugs

Danny the Professional annoyance

Is it a Birdy or the Devil?

BatBlob

Danny reforms Pariah Dark in DC

Talia x Danny - Exes who get back together

Operation Blackmail. Infinite Realms Regents kidnap BatKids to save Danny

Ellie marries Lady Gotham

Danny declares war on Gotham's curses

Yeti's to the rescue

Danny reincarnates as a wondersuper clone. One. Two. Three.

Danny posts his parents 'research'. Flash is NOT happy with the scientific misconduct.

De aged Dani and Dan raised by Danny in central as the local horror twins

Tim is hot for TA Danny

Wayne Dilf's

Wally x Danny, Dad Danny. The twins are not happy to share

So like *holds Danny and Billy up by the scruff of their shirts* these two bastards won't leave my brain, and for punishment I will make them kiss...

Just, the Rock of eternity technically is Shazam's (the wizards) haunt? He has been dead for a long time, living only though his champion, what if Ghost King Danny gets slapped with a post it note that reads like

"Daniel, you're required to assist the Champion of Magic as the High King of the Realms, even Pariah helped the previous Champion Black Adam."

And Danny is like, "Sure, why not, Magic is real and so are ghosts."

And like....

Sparky Danny meeting Literal Sun Beam Billy, they are both 14, it's puppy love at its finest. Danny doesn't know what to do with gay panic and Billy is just straight up "This man is my soul mate, he shall be mine." (Call iy Zeus bestowing more than just lightning)

The leauge is very concerned why Captain Marvel seems to have a seeming underage partner.

Superman squinting very hard and trying to figure this out: So...just how old is Phantom?

Billy, unaware how bad this looks: Oh I don't know honestly, it's kinda hard to tell with beings from the Realms! Though he died when he was 14!

Superman, gripping the table (which cracks a little) :And how exactly long has he been 14?

Billy, taking out his phone and flipping out pictures: Like I said, I don't really know how old he is, but there is Egyptain hieroglyphics of him! Look!

Superman, blinking at the very real looking pictures: Ahh. Fun cool cool cool...a-and how are you again Cap?

Billy mindlessly swiping the photos, excited to show off his boyfriend:Never said it, but he is definitely older than I am.

(Danny is older by a month, Billy calls him an old man for it.)

Billy gets to live full time in Danny's haunt in the Zone, Danny built him like the best house, Tucker and Sam get to meet Billy and they just are flabbergasted that Danny "I can't get a girl to date me or else she ends up wanting to kill me" Fenton has a boyfriend that has been going steady for a few months.

My brain sees like, Maddie and Jack are 100% backing Danny, they are fully supportive of their bi/gay/pan son, but in no way would they support him if he was a ghost, like they are organizing Amitys first ever Pride parade, but there is a shoot ghosts on sight order.

And just the reveal is like...

Danny gets finally tells them he is a ghost: if you start shooting me, your shooting the only Gay person you know, not very ally of you mom and Dad.

Maddie mouth open in horror: Oh no...Jack are...are we homophobic?

Jack sharing her look of fear: Great Scott...Dann-o a-are you sure...its...it's a life style right? Y-you chose this?

Danny, trying very, very hard not to laugh: It's not a life style dad! I didn't choose to Die!

Now what if that was literal?

Hear me out, Danny outlives his friends, parents, sister. Danny becomes a literal whale.

Well, not a literal one because he's a ghost, but he takes the shape one of at the very least. He's just a giant, glowing white whale that looks pretty divine not going to lie.

Danny leaves earth. It wasn't safe for him anymore, what with the GIW and all that as even the ghosts found it not even worth anymore to visit the mortal world.

Except for Desiree and Spectra, but that's besides the point.

But Danny doesn't retreat to the zone, he's always longed for space, but because of his new half humanness he doesn't get believe he could've ever gone because, well. Yea.

But Danny goes fuck it and goes anyway. His form shifts from human to that of a giant whale, and he swims out into the vastness of space.

Years pass, and Danny does start getting bigger as he aged. He explored the vastness of space, marveling at many things, the different planets, the stars, the formations of rock and other things.

Then he encounters someone he never though he would've.

Vlad.

Well, he knew Vlad was left behind in space by his father but he didn't think he would find him again and Vlad seemed... different, from what he remembered.

For one thing, he didn't even know where Vlad began and space ended. He got only see those red eyes that even hinted at it being the man. His body was void black and filled with stars upon stars, all glittering from his body and Vlad barely even seemed to notice him, or if he did, he didn't seem to care at all.

So, Danny took him.

He was both curious and felt a bit bad about what happened to Vlad, even if he didn't know exactly what happened, and he couldn't just leave him there either.

So on his back Vlad went, and his travels continued.

It seemed to be the correct decision, really, because slowly overtime Vlad seemed to be regaining his awareness. Then slowly, tentatively, started to speak with him through ghost speak.

Vlad only seemed to vaguely remember what he was before space. He remembered hating a man, loving a woman, wanting a son, loneliness and a boy with white hair and toxic green eyes.

Even though Vlad was his former enemy, his nemesis, and someone who took the world hostage.

He couldn't help but feel pity for him.

Then their travels continued.

Years pass unnoticed, when in space, with Danny slowly getting bigger and bigger as the two travel throughout. They've come into contact with various civilizations, some hostile, some peaceful, some neutral.

The hostile ones never lasted long, even if Danny never lifted a flipper to do anything most of the time, Vlad made sure of it.

They came at went as they pleased, and Danny believes that they've gained a bit of a reputations over their adventures, but neither he nor Vlad knew exactly what they said. It did prove useful in some cases, however.

A few more years, and Danny feels that this system is vaguely familiar. Which happens sometimes, considering he's been travelling for so long. He then finds out why it was so familiar.

He came across Earth and, oh. When was the Earth so small?

Well, not small really, but when was he just only a bit smaller than it?

Did it shrink when he was away? Or did he just grow?

That doesn't matter though. What does, is the fact that currently seemed to be an invasion going on, on his home planet thank you very much. He did not like the fact that there was a massive fleet parked right outside his home.

So he spoke to Vlad, expressed his displeasure, Vlad responded back knowingly and went off to make the source of his displeasure disappear. That doesn't Danny was idle either, the fleet was big and, well.

Danny looks very regal but I will say the angle hides his mouth, akin to a blackhole. With teeth. Very sharp teeth. I also like to think asteroids, meteors, etc get caught in his movement and follow him like schools of fish. For fun.

The giant space whale and his void tentacle monster buddy? Tend to be peaceful and curious. Only attack when provoked. But it is RARE for them to just decide to help. Unless someone manages to make friends with them first. For a given value of friends. Usually someone gives them something interesting and they help.

This? Is very much unprecedented. No one has ever managed to actually talk to them properly. No one has had the means. Even OA can't! The Lanterns rings? Can't translate for them. How the Fuck are they going to say thanks?! How are they going to get an explanation? J'onn? Please tell me you can communicate? Please? No really, we have no idea how?!

So danny going on the offensive this gentle giant literally showing up an effectively destroying this whole fleet like it's nothing

Terrifying absolutely Terrifying what did these beings do to engrage mr floats and mr galaxy

Danny has spent a really, really long time only using ghost speak. Human words are hard. How do you even use them? He's gonna get closer and observe. See if it helps him remember.

Just because he is physically trying to remember how to speak and what words mean loudly because he's so used to space and his bigger size that he just naturally speaks louder now

Also his ghost/human form has changed to reflect whale danny now his lower half matches his whale form wide galexy tail gloden studs lining up his entire back a brilliant green gem embedded on his forehead eyes a stunning green wrapped in the galaxy itself long literally flowing white hair

Looking at his truly gives off the air of i have found a legend this is them

GL: So, thank you. Why did you help?

Danny: Earth is our planet? *tilts head in query*

Heroes now thinking the space beings claimed Earth. Ok, cool. They can handle possessive deep space mer kid and friend if they keep Earth safe. They can!

Batman: Your planet?

Danny: Yes! I was.. Born? Born! On Earth!

He gestures a hand at Vlad, who doesn't actually respond aside from a look at the gesture before going back to looking at the League. The League? Absolutely in shambles, the green lantern members even more so actually.

Because two of the universe's greatest mysteries came from Earth and they're most likely the first metas at that too.

J'onn? He could be trying to establish a mental link, wanting to looking into these beings heads or just wanting to communicate and translate whatever Phantom is saying because he's clearly having trouble with Earth language.

Phantom's mind is fine, receptive even, to his telepathy and the being himself noticed and actually seemed pleased by it. His friend? Escort? Companion? On the other hand?

J'onn had to cut that mental link as fast he made it. That mind was completely and utterly blank, wrong. As if he was staring into the Void itself, Plasmius, of course, noticed.

He only sent a glance in J'onn's direction before looking away.

Danny: Oh. There were laws. We were to be... Captured. And studied. Our fraid all died. Why stay?

J'onn: Why help now?

They hate it but they aren't surprised by it when J'onn tells them. After all, Green Lantern says that these two have lived for hundreds of years and it wouldn't be any surprise that people's hatred for metas would be even worse then than now.

So bad, apparently, that he even had to flee the planet just so he could live.

Capturing? Studying? Death? It wasn't that much of a stretch, but it was something grim they didn't want to think about or wish occured.

Danny? Doesn't know that they think he's a meta, doesn't even know what a meta is and he was talking about the Anti-Ecto acts. But everyone here didn't seem surprised, so probably the Anti-Ecto acts was brought to light and dismissed?

That would be a good thing, really.

Then they just come down to Earth, and the last of the fleet that was on the planet?

Yea they already ran away.

Danny and Vlad's reputation precedes them, because they know Vlad to be someone who destroyed planets simply because it displeased the whale, entire civilizations were destroyed just because the whale expressed displeasure and only the luckiest or ones that were off planet could even survive their wrath.

The first thing they saw when they looked up at the sky because they've gotten a lot of distress calls?

The whale attacking. Somehow, that scared them far more than his companion attacking, because through all the history, myths, surrounding them, the whale never attacked anyone. Even if he expressed displeasure for them.

So, you could say they were scared out of their mind and then lost contact with their mothership and then they decided to just flee.

Way better than having their soul eaten by the void beast! Some myths even said that the tastiest souls went to the whale himself!

Danny and Vlad have been in space for Centuries, maybe even Millenia. And this is definitely their Earth, even in their Ancient Age they can never truly forget their home, and they wouldn't mistake another planet for Earth.

So they can't have been from the US, since that us too recent. They must be from an older civilization, maybe even one we know about.

What if they were from a Pre-Sunken Atlantis?

The Ancient City was definitely advanced enough to have technology from the modern day all those years ago, and they were mystical enough that some scientists may have decided to study Ghosts one day. It could have been the Fentons and Vlad?

Imagine the sheer shock from the Justice League when they realize that these two ancient beings lived at the same time as Atlantis before it sunk. Especially Aquaman when he catches wind of this.

This would technically make them citizens of Atlantis, wouldn't it? Very old, ancient ones yes, but still citizens.

Now, hear me out here. What if one of Jazz's kids somehow found their way into the royal bloodline? How?

Well, I haven't thought about that one yet BUT JUST GO WITH IT!!

So, one of Jazz's kids or grandkids married into the royal bloodline of Atlantis, either male or female you can pick Idc, then that would pretty much mean that Danny?

It one of the few things he would like to do in his free time is to help the ocean sea with minor problems, a seal having his neck stuck with a plastic can holder, a a couple shark with a hook stuck to her fin/nose or tailfin, a couple of trapped rare fish in poacher traps.

He wasn't expecting a small group of whales, mainly a momma whale and two Baby whales to swim by singing their song while hunting a vast enormous group of krills.

Only to hear a tiny little baby mer singing along with them. It was a boy, with chubby lil arms, a beautiful trails of sparkling white and neon green color, fade gray and black tips mer tailwind. A fainted trail of electric shock probably from a mishap by jellyfish tracing from one of his chubby hand down to his body.

Hair white as snow, eyes greener then the grass on land, tanned skin and a odd sliver mechanism purple clock on a necklace that was ticking slowly despite being in deep underwater.

Arthur was going to get closer but the Momma whale Block his view using her vast body after she noticed him getting closer, the two Baby whales hiding behind her along with the baby mer.

Meanwhile Danny as clockwork apprentice until he grows into his state as the ruler of ghost realm and away from noisy observators has been on a mission to keep the timeline in check in other dimensions. Clockwork insisted this form would do the trick

~Hail, Emperor, those who are about to die salute you~

Danny was terrified when he got the body of Talon in his morgue. The Court of Owls was notorious for leaving no trace after work. But Talon, a young man only a few years older than him, did not look like a mindless killing machine at all. Of course, the first time he had a couple of stab wounds from his new acquaintance but after numerous assurances that his help would remain their little secret and that he would not inform his superiors that he had fucked up on the mission, Talon began to trust him a little. as one dead boy to another. In a few months, most of the Talons come to him for first aid, and of course he got attached to the guys. After all, Gotham is not Amity Park and without the other dead ones around Phantom felt a little lonely. It was nice to give these poor people a few quiet minutes. Danny’s assistant has warned him many times not to mess with the Court of Owls, but Danny are Phantom and from the first time he met one of them he was planning to lose his temper and beat the boys' bosses to free them.

Fenton was not prepared to lead the Court of Owls. Even if Danny got his education as a villain he never thought he’d work according to his profession. But leave a whole den? nest? of creatures turned into weapons he could not. Of course, the best choice after defeating the leaders of the Court would be to destroy the entire organization. But Danny couldn’t do that.

Talons were killers, means of intimidation, even if not of their own volition. They will be killed (again) or sent to prison for the rest of their lives. Talons needed safety and a good therapist, not all of this. Danny’s scared, and he doesn’t know how to take care of them, but the others won’t do it. People are afraid of everything different. They won’t care that these dead are just victims, they’ll only see monsters. He could be half-human, but now he has to think like a full ghost. Talons are dead like him. And they have been dehumanized, tortured, used. People can be cruel. To do the right thing, he has to protect them.

It was difficult for Danny to identify likes and dislikes of his new friends because they always had the same facial expression and were taught that they had no feelings. Bullshit. Danny’s parents also think ghosts have no emotions, but they just have wrong theories and do not manipulate them to make ghosts think the same. Well, maybe it’s because they don’t think ghosts can think at all, but still! So, Danny know that number three loves strawberry jam, and number five always steals some of his cereal, and number 11 always gets closer to the music column to enjoy the sound. And he also know that the Talons weren’t fully fed in their organization because they definitely have problems with their digestive system, and he is going to fix it. Vlad said that he had trouble taking human food for only a few months after the portal accident, and some of the Talons were dead for years and still use injecting nutrient solutions. When a Dead Man can’t have a couple of spoons of treats, well, that’s a crime.

He needs to find a way to consult with Frostbite and conduct a full-fledged health diagnostics for his 'minions'. And he needs to settle the paperwork so guys have a legitimate reason to live in the Infinite Realms.

~~~~~ Danny: Hey Jazz, I’m in trouble. When can you come to Gotham? This time I don’t mind hearing a little advice.

~~~~~

Even though Dr Fenton smelled like death and blood all the time, the smell was different. And this difference was enough that something dead inside them swore allegiance to this Owl at their will. Not that they had it, of course. Weapons don’t have free will. But at least pretending to be able to choose is nice.

The new Master was weird, but in a good way. Not that this Talon know more about what is good than any other Talon. Ah, Di- Talon had a headache. Anyway, serving him is right. They all feel it..And feelings matter!! Well, they are not supposed to have them too but… looks like the young owl didn’t mind.

Master was not angry at how Talon № 4 frowned when the master had to pull a bullet out of his shoulder, and he missed Talon's sweet laughter when it saw the battle of Signal and Spice King on TV. The only times he raised his voice to them were when they were trying to threaten people near the master. Looks like this owl wanted to instill fear on his own. Strange. Usually there was always an enemy of the court who had to be hunted down and destroyed.

~~~~~

Danny: See, when you kill people, you do not make it easy for me. First, I will need to examine the bodies and write the report of their death. Second, if their souls remain restless, they will become my problem again. No more trying to get the cashier to have a heart attack. He said they ran out of the product I needed, not that he’s cursing my family for the next millennium. No one wants to see any more angry ghosts in Gotham. Me after a 24-hour shift is enough, okay?

Talons were alarmed. So far the master had shown no signs that he might want to completely break one of the weapons. But what if this owl is planning on punishing them for all their mistakes at once when he’s really angry?

Talon is not supposed to show initiative or empathy. But Talon 12, who suffered an injury in the course of a mission with old owls, has not yet recovered. They inadvertently hid it when the leadership changed. 12 has not yet met Doctor Fenton, and they do not know whether the privileges of medical care are retained now when they belong to him. So far, the Master has been rather careless about their movements and a few of them have slipped away for a while to check on a fellow. They didn’t lie if they weren’t asked about another weapon, right? They shouldn’t be punished too severely when the Owl finds out. Talons were hoping that Doctor Fenton, who was not in a hurry to look at the document of the court, would allow them not to write off the damaged thing. № 12 was an old and experienced weapon and could train beginners even if it has only one hand now.

Well, that was the plan. Talons allowed themselves to become too careless. Terrible mistake. Even the Owl that is usually nice to them remains dangerous. They need to find a way to satisfy their young master. Young Owls always have anger issues, not that Talons can judge.

The youngest Talon shared information that he sometimes had flashbacks of a working red bird who always had a murderous expression until he got to the coffee pot fluid. And it's non-Talon past was never afraid of this bird. The chick could always be calmed with this dark liquid. Coffee is something that will return the master to the favorable mood!

Talons rejoiced at this remarkable discovery and decided to send one of them on a mission as soon as possible to get rid of the potential danger.

~~~~

Danny: Thanks for the coffee, man. Hey, you also took another drink, judging by the dollars in the check. I'm so proud of you! How it was? Good?

Talon thought for a second and nodded. Yes, it was good. He didn’t drink the drink himself but when a coffee shop employee wrote down his order with a trembling hand, a boy appeared in the door.

This boy, now almost a young man, he was from his memories. Another coffee was automatically added to the order.

On his way out, Talon walked up to the sleeping chick and gave a cup to him. Even without opening his eyes, the bat’s cub sniffed and sucked the drink. Dick chirped with delight and patted boy's head, ignoring the frozen people.

That's a true magic drink which is commanding the minds of the powerful of this world. Yes, it will help them for sure!

~~~~

Danny: See, Jazz, Dick’s making progress! He went to the coffee shop today. That’s great, isn’t it?

Jazz: First, don’t call him that, we’re still not sure that’s his name and not the way Owls used to insult him.

Danny: Hey, the fact that he hissed when you called him Richard proves nothing. I don’t like being called Daniel either, or, over my dead body, Dan. I have to call him something. They’re all Talons. What are your suggestions? Jazz: We’ll talk about this later. Now back to the coffee question. Danny, did you forget anything when you let Talon go for a walk? Danny: Which one? Jazz: Don’t play dumb! Did you open the news headlines today or not? This is serious! Danny: What? Shit...civilian clothes. I didn’t think he’d wear a combat suit for it. Jazz: Didn’t you give them outfits for everyday use? Danny: Yeah, I did! But they still wear their Halloween outfits. All the time. Look, it’s not my fault they take everything I say as an order. When I asked them to make the tea and our teapot broke, they broke into some guy’s house and stole it. Jazz: Which guy? Did you at least apologize? Danny: One of Hood’s goons. I’m pretty sure he’s already met Dick on patrol, 'cause the first thing he did called Jason and start crying about being followed. Lucky for him Red was at my house that night and went to calm goon down. But I swear to you, Dick was a little shit on purpose. Of all the apartments choose his? Nah, such coincidences do not exist.

Jazz: I could be happy that he’s getting more independent in his decision making but now I feel like I have to offer the poor guy a discount therapy course.

Damian: Drake, we need to talk. I know about your investigation. You suspect one of the Talons is our missing Grayson. I’m willing to provide some evidence in exchange for… Tim: I don’t suspect, I know that. Damian: What? Where from? Tim: Well, the quadruple somersault was a good hint. And the fact that the Red Hood ran from him through the streets screaming that he wouldn’t take lunch from a damn golden child is also a tip. Damian:...Not a word to my father until we know more, right? I don’t want my older brother thrown in Arkham. Tim: Agree. It’s not like he doesn’t have a memory problem. He wouldn’t have made Alfred worried if leaving was his choice. We need more information.

Meanwhile in Gotham, Alfred aka the only one batfam member with more than one functioning brain cell *on his way to his first grandson and future husband of his sweet angel Jason*.

Danny: Jazz, we need to clean this house right now. Jazz: Since when do you start spring cleaning? Danny: I don’t know how to explain, it’s not a ghost sense, it’s more an unexplained sense of danger. Where’s the vacuum cleaner?

~~~~~

Talon №5 stood in the knitting shop in thought. What color would the little mistress prefer? It should remain useful even if the Owl does not give them direct orders. Knitting a cute sweater for mistress Dani would be a good start. Yeah, that color’s gonna be perfect. And maybe it should stop holding those needles like a weapon, it makes the cashier nervous, and he wants to pay without saving a civilian from losing consciousness.

~~~~~

Danny became a little alarmed when Talon threw himself at the old man standing on the porch. To his surprise, the Briton readily embraced the bird, and Dick let him. Talons who stood behind Danny happily chirped. Making their youngest member happy things always meant something good.

*puts a dandelion in your hair*

Dick: Give me ONE good reason why you can't! We've been planning this for months Jay!

Jason: I know, and I'm sorry, but Danny caught the flu.

Tim: Who's Danny?

Jason: My son-

Damian: I am a UNCLE!? You have sire a child and have yet to introduce me to my nephew!?

Jason: I-

Damian: How old is the child!? Have I missed his first steps? Words? *Gasp* HAVE I MISSED HIS FIRST LAUGH!?

Jason: Danny isn't a infant he's five-

Damian: Five!? I have missed five birth celebrations and holidays, and who knows what else!? All because of you!

Jason: I just adopted Danny! I found him beaten black and blue in the dump. I think some asshole was trying to kill him. My men are searching the city.

Tim: I think it would be a good idea to replace Sibling Game Night with Sibling Man Hunt instead. I think we owe it to Danny for meeting him so late to Hunt down the asshole who attacked him. All in favor?

Damian/Duke/Cass/Steph: Yes!

Tim: Dick, are you opposed to-wait where is Dick?

Danny stares before slapping a hand on his face and groaning "I can't believe this....I had so much planned today and now a I have to deal with a fruitloop being overshadowed by ghost doing a very obvious attempt of a honey pot to lower my guard and attack me."

Dick down on one knee in front of Danny with flashing green eyes and a nervous smile "What? Noooooo.....I'm just your average voted as most attractive under 30 man who definitely saw you passing by on the street and fell in love at first sight. Why would you assumed that Phantom?"

"My name is Danny"

Sweat gathers at Dick's forehead as the man's smile twitches "I didn't think I was familiar enough to call you by your first name, my love"

"Phantom isn't my last name. Its Fenton. Only ghost call me Phantom" Danny crossed his arms, raised a brow and watch the second the other ghosts gave up the facade. He side-step the leap the possessed man did with a sigh, throwing a chop at the back of his head to knock him out.

There went his evening plans. He was supposed to go to a blind date Tucker set up but now he was going to have to cancel to preform a exorcism on Dick Grayson.

Danny ties Dick to the bed: No...😑

Dick half regained control: Grab... Phone... Family chat...

Danny reaches for his phone and gives it to him as he focuses on creating a magic circle

Dick sends a blurry selfie of him tied up in a magic circle to their group chat: Me and my hot witch date rn *smug lipbite*

Everyone is typing...

***

(Few minutes later)

Robin breaking in by the window: Grayson! I found the distress call you sent!

Dick and Danny vibing and eating cereal on the kitchen counter

Danny: Sorry bout that, he got possessed by a ghost. I had to exorcise the ghost out of him

Dick: It was the best unintentional blind (or should I say possessed) date I ever had!

Danny: Already? Are you sure it looks okay?

Dani: Trust me! You look great! I went for a more natural look anyway, so nothing too colorful or over the top. Here, take a look. *hands over mirrior*

Danny: I like it....

Dani: I can hear the "but". What is it?

Danny: I don't know. I was really excited to try make up but now I just feel like a clown

Dani: Well, that guy doesn't think you're a clown. He's having a sexual crisis *points to Dick hyperventilating in the corner of the park*

Danny: Yeah, but that guy walks around in 80s wear unironically.

Dani: How do you know that?

Danny: He's in my gymnastics class.

Dani: Okay, but he's super hot, and he is stunned by you, so you're literally breathtaking.

Danny: If you say so, *looks into mirror.* I mean the eyeliner and mascara really make my eyes pop.

Dani: You look like a K-pop star. Trust me, you'll going to be turning so many heads. That 80s guy literally tripped over his own two feet just now when you looked at him.

Danny: *blushes*