what do you think grace's dying thought would have been?
the time when he first woke up on erid and realised he found his new home? or maybe when he met adrian and goaked at the sheer size of them? he remembers when he saw them and rocky cuddled up at his beach before going to meet him.
but then he thinks about mary. about the melancholy person he used to be. filled with dread and anger and sadness. he hurt so much. he remembers the nightmares he used to have; once again being trapped in those white walls, floating aimlessly in space, knowing that he had been stabbed and grabbed and thrown from his home. he would always play it off when rocky noticed that constant smear of sweat on his forehead after he had woke up from one.
and then he remembered her. eva stratt. that enigmatic, stoic woman that he couldn't help but fall inlove with. her firey hair that matched that burning desperation to save everyone- the fire that upon first glance looked all-engulfing and dangerous, but behind those high flames sat a dimmer light, one that flickered self-consciously, doubting itself in its capabilites to save them all. this little fire is the fire that grace fell for.
eva was so desperate to save everyone. eva would do anything to do it. eva was grace's love.
it took a lot of years for grace to get over the anger he held towards her. too many fabricated nights spent throwing up, his hand covering the place the needle stuck. that place being the last place he felt human touch.
but when he really thinks back, that place on his neck used to mean a different thing. a warmer thing. the place where his mum used to stroke him when he fell asleep next to her- they had just finished watching his favourite nature documentary about evolutionary science (for kids of course). her remembers his mothers tired eyes, gazing down on him, she said something but he couldn't hear her as he had alreadg fallen alseep. it didn't matter, ryland would just ask her in the morning.
then, the next morning, his father would wake him up. a soft smile as he coaxed ryland out of his groggy, half-asleep state. his father would rub the same place and flatten his bed hair, asking ryland if he wanted waffles or pancakes for breakfast. ryland would smile, already knowing that his favourite cereal was on the table; the one mum didn't let him have too often because it had a little too much sugar for the morning. dad always let him have it if she went to work early.
oh grace misses earth so much. how could he not? yeah, he had been throw to the stars and tasked with an impossible mission that him and rocky made possible. but gosh did he miss the it. the sound of human talking. the sound of 9 am traffic. the feel of a storm. the feel of a kiss. he wanted to see his kids again.
he knows he saved earth, that his work saved them all. he didn't for a long time, didn't know if it was truly all for nothing. a ugly, bitter part of him sometimes wished that it didn't work ;the beatles had been lost or damaged, or his taumoeba fell through. he wanted to take back control for what they did to him. to hurt them just as they hurt him.
he got over that when he thought about his kids though.
and then grace remembers where he is. on his bed, rocky and adrian besides him, he held both their appendages. his bones brittle. his skin thin and gaunt. his hair balding and ghostly white (he remembers telling rocky that his hair looked like snow. he misses snow).
he remembers his whole life and he is so happy. he looks to rocky, rocky singing something about grace resting and how rocky will never forget him. grace gives a tired smile and looks back up at the sunroof. he stares into space, past erid, past the galaxies. to earth.
he finds his first home. his crammed but cozy townhouse with brown oak floors and brick walls. his daddy is reading him a bedtime story, while his mummy draws constalletions in his hair.
grace dies just as warm and content as he remembers his home being.
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