🔅🔅🔅

i didn’t even know there was a free version of spotify….

This spoke to me spiritually

Hers, I am. He’s, I am.

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

You are the only valid manager

Ben 10: *slaps his watch and turns into a bald version of himself*

Don’t forget: tik tok was created in China, so

Eat this orange. It’s full of FuckScurvium.

This professor gets extra credit.

It’s especially hilarious when you keep in mind that the main artefact sumgglers around that time were ISIS, who funded their operations with that. So yeah, it’s not a stretch to say that Hobby Lobby funded ISIS

How did Hobby Lobby make everyone forget about that

Never forget Hobby Lobby’s Hammurabi-robbing hobby.