Fluffy and Sweet

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

the real antidote to the problem of "everyone is beautiful and no one is horny" is watching old horny shows like mash. nothing but perfectly normal-looking, homely, average people in that show who hook up with each other or unseen partners on a regular basis. hawkeye is absolutely drowning in sex and the man has such a bizarre mismatched set of randomly strong and weak facial features on a noodle body with dogshit posture. and it's GREAT. you can't tell how soft his jawline is because there's always a woman kissing his neck and blocking the camera. i know i riff on people saying they want to fuck mulcahy until he has a religious epiphany but as a butch lesbian with that exact face shape it's been so healing to be like. ohhhh ok so sexuality and attractiveness isn't just limited to the perfect beautiful poreless people on netflix. i understand now

No, you're thinking of narwhals. Narcolepsy is the practice of giving jobs preferentially to family members.

No, you're thinking of nepotism. Narcolepsy is a class of drugs intended to improve brain function, though their actual efficacy is questionable.

No, you’re thinking of nootropics. Narcolepsy is the medical specialty concerning kidneys and their function.

No, you're thinking of nephrology. Narcolepsy is any psychoactive compound with numbing or paralyzing properties.

No, you're thinking of narcotics. Narcolepsy is when someone has an excessive preoccupation with themself and their own needs, often at the expense of others.

No, you’re thinking of narcissism. Narcolepsy is when an unseen speaker describes events in a story.

No, you're thinking of narration. Narcolepsy is the study of the brain, spinal cord, and conditions such as strokes and epilepsy.

No, you’re thinking of neurology. Narcolepsy is where they’re completely new to a subject or a study.

No, you’re thinking of noob. Narcolepsy is a Japanese gaming company founded in the late 1800’s that began as a playing card company and evolved into a titan of the video game industry that thinks they can get away with selling their games for $90.

No, you’re thinking of Nintendo. Narcolepsy is when you fuck dead people

the average person thinks of children like particularly delicate houseplants

This is legit the best thing I’ve read all day.

Please read it, please

I will never not reblog this story

You know, despite the internet’s best efforts, I still believe that people are inherently good.

Love havelock vetinari bc he’s introduced as a terrifying tyrant that will cut off your finger if you wave it at him and is inhumanly calm and collected but then you realize he’s actually just LARPing as a villain. He asks to be handcuffed so he can be arrested properly. He disapproves of his aunt’s cat because it’s not the kind you can pet sinisterly while waiting in the dark. He tries to do “tis but a scratch” about a fucking gunshot and collapses on the spot.