Silly Goober Doing Silly Things

[approaching you at your desk with a mug that says WORLD'S SEXIEST BOSS] Hey I dont know if like someone forgot to tell you this or what but I dont pay you to eat berries and seeds on the clock. You have a job to do. And tie up that tail or something. Thats a safety hazard. [muttering to myself as i leave] fucking squirrel motherfuckers....

[approaching you a few days later with my blouse slightly unbuttoned, hair all mussied up, leaning against the wall of your cubicle] Heyyy so like I spoke with HR and like apparently that thing I said about you being a squirrel was really fucked up [undoing another button] So like im really sorry ok? Like really really sorry [undoing another button] I don't even have a squirrel problem, haha. [undoing another button] I think they're cute~ [undoing another button] You can eat as many seeds and berries as you want [unbuckling my belt] I dont even mind, you have my full approval, just... [opening my blouse] Don't tell HR about this, okay?

[approaching you a week later wearing my glasses, hair tyed up, holding a box full of stuff] Hey. Nice going. You had to tell HR. Thanks for that, buddy. [setting the box down] There was an investigation. Yeah. Today's my last day. Thanks for that, seriously. I just don't understand. I thought we had something [leaning against your cubicle again] I'm not even supposed to talk to you, yknow. Apparently I'm lucky they're not taking legal action. I just. [getting a little choked up] Don't know why you'd do that to me. [sniffle] You were always my favorite employee, y'know. Since the day I hired you. Yeah. I bet that's a surprise. I'm the one who signed off on your hiring. Management, they didn't want a squirrel in the office, but I did. [tears streaming down my face] I just. I hope you're happy. I can't protect you now. [slipping you a card with my number on it] If you ever feel like talking to me again, you can reach me here. Sorry.

WAIT AMITY NO THATS THE BEACH THAT MAKES YOU OLD!!!

im this many 🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐

sends you to the age regression dimention until you're back to normal

im this many 🖐

Why is this heat so hot 😩

It’s the heat

Source?

Not now sweetie, mommy's going to need to finish giving herself a repetitive stress injury trying to put together this OLSERÖD before she can strip you like she is all these screws and fuck you like the product developers did the absolute bloody tolerance on these machined parts

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

yandere girl who is very very bad at it

"ehehehe....... you'll always be mine and mine alone, darling........ i-i mean if you're alright with that......... if not thats fine too......... i-i wouldnt want to be annoying so..........."

leering roommate who's been very clearly trying to set up a "you have to wear a cowkini around the apartment for a week" type pervert wager every time you get drunk together for at this point months but is simply and i mean really truly Absolutely Dogshit at playing poker

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

My lady, would you fancy a side of getting molested with your being asleep?

Would you like a bottle of wine with that? I'd highly recommend the 1784 Your Maid Cumming On Your Innocent Sleeping Face, it pairs with your main course quite nicely

very wise seal goes bwah and pwuh... and you could learn a thing or two from that

fun fact: girls can have computers

fun fact: girls can be computers

fun fact: girls can kiss computers

Sorry for acting like a sex pervert. It’s just that I’m perverted about sex is all.