I ate Jesus for dinner

Me: and last name?

Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.

Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-

Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?

Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?

Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that's Mohammed.

Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-

Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?

Teacher A points to my student.

Teacher B points to not my student.

Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?

Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?

Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?

Teachers Aide: oh! That's Mohammed!

Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?

Teachers Aide: sure.

I have my laptop open to the photo as I'm walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.

We pass the library.

A class is exiting.

I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.

Teachers aide taps him.

Me: is this you?

Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.

Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see...

MOHAMMED!

Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-

Teacher: that's Moham-

Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What's his LAST name?

Teacher:

Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-

Teacher: his last name is not 'duck.' I'll go look it up for you.

Five minutes later and the reason we couldn't find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.