I am, but a joke

Is played by this guy

hyrule warriors (the original game); link with lana’s summoning gate

(image credit to Dan Hoare on twitter)

I ONLY JUST LEARNED ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THIS MUSHROOM????? WHICH ERUPTS FROM AN EGG BEFORE UNCURLING HELLISH ARMS, EXPOSING ITS STICKY MASS OF SPORES TO BE SPREAD BY FLIES ATTRACTED BY THE SCENT OF ROTTING FLESH???

“Side effects may include: stuttering, stammering, blushing, kissing, hugging, hissing, going too fast, wall slamming, drunken confessions, crying to Hozier, being the little spoon, banter, involuntary snake transformations, and marriage.

Please call your doctor if snake transformation lasts longer than 24 hours

The lieutenant instantly yelped as the hypospray punctured his neck. Leonard rolled his eyes at the dramatics. Officers got shot, scratched up, and burned but a little needle had them shaking like lambs.

Lieutenant Brent rubbed the area despite anesthetics preventing even a prickle of pain. Leonard was just about to turn and leave when Brent grabbed his arm.

“Doc, can you tell me how Danny’s doing? He didn’t look so good on the planet,” He asked with a wrinkle on his brow.

Leonard cycled through all the people who made it into sickbay and then the ones he knew got injured from the away mission. The name doesn't come up on his PADD. His confusion must’ve been obvious as Brent elaborated.

“Ensign Fenton? Daniel Fenton?”

Sam is born blind. She can see some light, colors, and movement but nothing really distinct. Her parents dote on her a lot and she fights against them for her own dependence more and more as she gets older, especially in regards to what she wears. She gets a black lab guide dog in middle school and having an animal essentially be an extension of herself fuels her interest in animal rights.

Tucker loses most of his hearing at a young age due to illness. Getting hearing aids jumpstarts his interest in technology. He still struggles with understanding speech a lot, and prefers to communicate with sign language when he can. He became fast friends with Danny after Danny tells Jazz about the kid that can’t hear in his class and she starts teaching him sign language so they can talk.

Danny becomes mute after the portal accident (either due to trauma or his vocal cords getting fried). It’s a lot to process on top of being newly half-dead and adjusting to finicky powers, but the three of them are ride (and) die for each other and find a balance. Over time, Danny realizes he can communicate simple ideas with his emotions through his core and aura. He can also in turn sense emotions.

There’s some tension at first when they realize Sam’s guide dog is Terrified of Danny, but overtime the dog becomes desensitized to his presence and ghosts in general (aided by Danny expressing positive emotions towards the dog). Between Sam’s hearing and the dog’s senses, they often pick up on ghost activity before Danny does.

Tucker has to modify his hearing aids after the ghosts start flooding into Amity Park. Being in close proximity to Phantom in particular makes his hearing a staticky mess until he finds a way to repurpose Fenton technology into his hearing aids. He winds up helping other people do the same. Tucker has a special, deep-seated hatred for Technus. He touched his hearing aids one time and it’s been on sight since.