We're All Mad Here

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

Pokemon Heritage Post

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

You’re just not ready. At no point in this video when he says the next thing are you ready.

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

Their other brand is EARTHBOUND ORGANICS!!!

My partner’s dad is exploring Italian citizenship and interestingly enough his grandfather had to renounce his Italian citizenship when he was naturalized an American - but his grandmother didn’t have to because she was a woman. If your ancestor renounced citizenship you can’t claim descent but if they didn’t you can. So currently the family’s citizenship case rests on a sexist legal loophole from the early 1900s.

Ah, citizenship law. I hate it so much.

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”