hey

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

my hamburger ass could never be helped

as per my last straw,

lying in front of the street cleaner

did the street cleaner believe you?

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people

I've gone fifteen years on this website without absorbing any information about homestuck and I'm not about to start now

Like a half hour after taking pain relief meds: oh actually it doesnt hurt anymore i probably didnt even need to take those

do NOT trust your own thoughts that everyone hates you. the curse of the blood moon is imminent. it's not you. it's ganondorf

i need to [remembers suicide jokes lower your self esteem] free the four divine beasts and vanquish calamity ganon

I love ending e-mails with "thank you in advance". Like what are you going to now? Not do the thing I already thanked you for? Bring dishonor on yourself like that? No? I didn't think so. Check mate you have been played by the master of manipulation.

Another tip for DDG - if you want to permanently get rid of DDG's AI features (which you can turn off in settings, but only temporarily) - for now you can just use noai.duckduckgo.com as your search engine. Works as advertised in the name.

ibuprofen should grow on bushes like wild berries

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead