behold my hoard

*producer about to make one of the worst seasons of television ever put to screen* surely writing purely in reaction to what the fans are saying on twitter will work out great for us this time

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!

the thing about "no one is talking about this!" posts is that at best they are weird guilt trips trying to make you feel personally responsible for the fact that you haven't heard about one specific thing happening that no one has mentioned to you. at worst they are just wrong because the op turns out to have no idea what people are talking about because they've never listened to another person in their life. either way I am not reblogging that

Bro videos are always 🔥 💯.. instant collaborations

IVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW AND IT TURNS OUT WE KNEW EACH OTHER AND WERE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER PRETRANSITION

we we’re talking about how we had a mutual friend and how that was so wild and then they mentioned another friend i knew and i was like “yeah i played soccer with them both in the park” and my friend was like “wait does your deadname start with a C” and it turns out she was also there and we just had no idea who each other was this entire time till now

This is fucking wild

This is half a plot for a modern Shakespearean comedy of errors.

Romcom where two people meet cute and bond over how awful their exes were and plan elaborate revenge schemes but it turns out they both transitioned and are helping to plan revenge plots against themselves

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

60% of the reason I enjoy explicitly amorous strattland is that if you imagine they've had any kind of real emotional intimacy and all the requisite discussions about boundaries and rejections to safely navigate a boss x employee affair where the boss is also immune to criminal prosecution then the betrayal only gets worse and worse 💕. just bass boost that these people trust and listen to each other then make sure they know that none of that can matter when it actually matters ✨.

imagine, if you will, a version of the betrayal scene where grace panics and gets his wires crossed and calls "red" to try and safeword out. immediately he feels a weirdly mundane sense of intense embarrassment for doing one of the classic social blunders in the worst situation ever, he feels a bit like a pathetic shrimp for doing something that he sees as immature in a very wrong context, obviously he knows that's not going to work even a little bit. meanwhile stratt hears him say it then watches his whole face journey and just has to ignore it all and wants to 🔥 blow herself up.🔥

This blog is brought to you by Inaudible. Inaudible is the Internet's absolute shit-tier source for audio entertainment, with zero titles to choose from. Go to InaudiblePodcast.com/horseshit and sign up today to get fuckin nothing.

I owe you my life

reminds me of this one time i went to give a blowjob to this really sexy 38 yo man who was very masculine, wore a leather jacket, and smelled really strongly of mens cologne; i remember i got down on my knees and he was caressing my face while i was unbuttoning his pants and to my surprise when i pulled down his pants he was wearing lace panties and fishnet garters. i remember how he was looking at me while i sucked his big cock. yes i swallowed

Things we don’t need to hear!

well i thought it was interesting. :/ peace and love on planet earth

shawty's like a malady in my head