Medicinal Carrots

some things will only ever get worse but i'm still here baby

i'm so still here it's not even funny

you better appreciate this while it lasts

if you don't giggle to yourself one day when you remember a random joanpost decades afterwards then what was any of this for

i want your future spouse to sit up on the edge of the bed at night wondering who Joan was & why you murmur her name in your dreams

why you yell his name in your sleep like you're running from a psychotic genderqueer sapphic aroace lesbian millennial riding a razor scooter from 2003 & threateningly waving around a wiffle ball bat

before i continue this post i'd like to thank our sponsor tampax

she never even continued the post. the ad is still playing

Tampax™ "Why Part The Red Sea When You Can Just Use A Raft?"

you chose to follow this blog.

This blog is a buckshot of profundity and the worst posts on the website. That's what I like about it. Keeps me on me toes

you hear that everyone??? ✨The Worst ✨

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

Given that patent attorneys, especially back then used to have hard science degree, it makes the one about how they know the weight limit on a bridge funnier.

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

[ Image ID: A close up of a American Pekin duck floating on water. End ID]

is it culturally appropriate to say “here comes the airplane” to your baby if you had twins