I have new blorbos send help

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

Hornet silksong is one of the single funniest protagonist ever. In no small part because she isn't a silent protagonist at all. She's in a nightmare apocalypse, but she was born and raised in one of those. She's live most her life in a graveyard. This nightmare apocalypse is way nicer than the one she came from. She got kidnapped, seriously weakened/injured, and is in poor health. She decides "well if they kidnapped me I guess it's important and I should check it out". She tells people a zombie apocalypse is happening as one might comment on the weather. This is very normal for her. Her idea of regaining her strength is throwing herself at dangerous situations until she's better. She has never heard of "taking a nap" in her life. She is so willing to run errands for other people, but do not imply she is a good person, this is a "tactical advantage".

Well, someone's messed with the timeline!

UPDATE: it wasn’t porn. turns out it is a very upset pigeon stuck in the air shaft in the ceiling.