Keeper of ttrpg modules

writing a canon divergent fix-it fic while also shaking my head to show that i actually really like the canon's tragic narrative and am not trying to say i think it would be better if canon was like this

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

people say non-passing trans men get treated like defective women and that's true but so do passing trans men. you can look fully like a man with a beard, flat chest. even a phalloplasty and if one transphobic jerk in your life knows you are trans they will NEVER address you as a man even if you are indistinguishable from a cis man. you can look like a whole ass lumberjack and still get introduced as somebody's daughter. for most, the only way to be seen and acknowledged as a man is full and total stealth, keeping your trans identity a secret, cutting out anyone in you life that knows you used to be a woman. and that's not a good thing. we talk about pride as being fully and unabashedly ourselves, and there is no pride in hiding your trans identity and pretending to be cis just so you can have respect and be treated like a man

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

The cool thing about death note is you could feasibly explain the basic premise of it like the mechanics of the note and also L and lights weird homoerotic shit and you would have a pretty good idea of what the entire plot is like without ever having to explain the terrifying floating clown monster

do i have to play warhammer 1-39999 first to understand 40k