Mastering the List

“I’m speaking to Harry Potter today after the long-awaited conclusion of the trial of quadruple murderer Waldorfus Grenoble. Harry, may I ask you a question regarding the trial?”

“Sure, Lee, I have to be back at work in ten but give it a go.”

“What is in the curry you had for lunch yesterday during the recess? It smelled fantastic and I have to know.”

“Thanks for asking, Lee. I’ve recently come across a book of my great-grandmother Priyanka’s notes on her Punjabi cooking and I’ve been trying to recreate her food. I liked that one but Ginny said it was too sweet so I’m making adjustments.”

“Fantastic. Great stuff. Next up we have an update on You-Know-Who’s whereabouts. Not Voldemort obviously– he’s six feet under, it’s been around 2500 days now and he’s still going strong, no sign of him being not dead any time soon.”

“You’re correct, Lee, he’s dead as a doornail and he’s going to stay that way. You do realize you don’t need to refer to your infant daughter as ‘You-Know-Who,’ right?”

“Sophie starts screaming if either of her dads talks about her and we don’t know why. Any suggestions, and any idea where she is now?”

“Oliver was walking her up and down the hallway outside the World Cup Regulatory Office last I saw her. As for the screaming, with James we gave him the miniature dragon from the Triwizard in ‘94 and that entertained him pretty well.”

“You heard it here first folks, Harry Potter thinks dragons are an appropriate substitute for pacifiers! Thanks for your time, Harry.”

“Any time, Lee.”

The force is strong in this family

Literally just reaction GIFs. 

If you’re suffering from fear or anxiety, or know someone who is, call the NAMI helpline at 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 741741. Trained counselors are available 24/7 to help you process what you’re feeling, free and confidentially.

Where do we go from here?

This won’t be the last mass shooting in America. Until Congress puts aside the politics of gun control and honestly faces the human toll of their inaction, guns will continue to ravage our communities.

If you’ll be 18 by November 6, 2018, please register to vote. Help your friends register. Help your neighbors register. On election day, organize carpools to polling places. Trade shifts with people who can’t get time off, or babysit their kids. A single vote for gun control is more powerful than all the thoughts and prayers in Washington.

Tens of thousands of people will be killed by guns before we can wrest control of Congress from the gun lobby. Many hundreds will be students sheltering in classrooms. But change is possible.

TurboVote.org will help you register online or by mail. Go now. We don’t have time to wait.

has been with us our entire lives

from all that

to good burger

to kenan and kel

and now snl

he has stayed with us from childhood to adulthood