pugs are ugly and useless

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

if i had three wishes they would all be to make web 2.0 utterly illegal and go back to normal html

how do we explain to children that all our tech briefly worked perfectly and over time we threw it all away for sleek menus and corporate opacity

"we could give you a link to this mp3 OR we could run it in a proprietary player app that must connect to the internet every time you hit the resume button"

when i upgraded from a flip phone to an iphone and realized i could no longer record and set a custom ringtone because apple wanted me to buy radio pop ringtones, i realized, oh cool new tech isnt made for us it's made to exploit us and we are going to let it happen

<b>OUCH!</b>

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

i wish i were rich because that way i could comtinue being Insane & Useless and it would be fine like not even a problem

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

a lot of people were krilled

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

sneezes really hard and an egg shoots out of me while punching a hole clean through my panties and jeans, ricochets off the ground and re-enters me perfectly

British guys when they cum probably: ive came ive bloody came

happy 10 year anniversary to the puppet master that cursed my dick