pugs are ugly and useless

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

aborted bloke: i would’ve loved to do fuck all

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man