i feel like it's absolutely crucial in the social justice world to take "he a little confused but he got the spirit" and similar sentiments/situations as a Win. intent is so much more important than saying it right the first time! if someone is approaching with scuffed language and incorrect terms but they're visibly being as polite as they know how, that person is a friend and should be treated better than what their words might invite in someone else's mouth.
someone who's confused but who's got the spirit has the best thing, which is respect. the other stuff is secondary. I'd take someone who's messing up but doing their best to treat me respectfully any day over someone who's using the right words to do me wrong.
This. Honestly, my least favorite scene in Steven Universe is due to a failure to understand this concept. It also happens to be a good example of how not to handle such situations, so I'm going to break it down here.
It's back when Peridot has newly joined the Crystal Gems. She's open to learning, but - and this is important - was literally programmed to think and behave the way she does during her creation process, and everything she's seen and done until very recently has only reinforced this information for her.
So basically, at this point, she knows almost none of the correct terminology or etiquette, but she's trying. She's 'got spirit.' However, at one point, while working with Garnet, she requests that she defuse back into Sapphire and Ruby, because Garnet's presence is making her uncomfortable.
Now, we the audience are aware that this is a very rude, inappropriate request, and that it was wrong of Peridot to make it. Peridot, however, has spent all her life being indoctrinated with the concept that fusions between gems of different types is perverse, improper, probably even illegal. We eventually learn that it's something that can get a Gem shattered. She has been taught her whole life that everything that Garnet is is wrong.
Of course she's uncomfortable.
Unlearning deeply-ingrained beliefs, ideals, and values is an extremely uncomfortable process. Necessary and important, yes, but uncomfortable. It's also a procedure where the person doing this is going to make a lot of mistakes, because they have a lot of learning and unlearning to do.
And, to her credit, while the request is rude, the way Peridot makes it is very polite. Her tone of voice is level, not quite neutral but obviously working for it, and fairly calm. She directly says what she would like Garnet to do and also clearly explains why she is making her request without being incendiary about it.
It was, quite frankly, the perfect set-up for Garnet to tell her no, and then either explain herself why that was an inappropriate request or have one of the other members of the group explain. Especially since, from everything we the audience knew at the time, the Crystal Gems are literally the only ones in the entire universe who hold these beliefs and values. Meaning that they're literally the only people who Peridot could learn any of this from.
Instead, the episode smash-cuts to Garnet having put Peridot in a child leash and tied her to a fence post while Peridot yells, "What, what did I say?!?" in clear and open confusion over her mistake. It's made very obvious that she knows she's done something wrong, but also doesn't know how she's messed up. Heck, she's even clearly demonstrating that she wants to know, to learn what she did, presumably so she can avoid doing so in the future. But, when Steven asks Garnet why she did that, Garnet just says, "She was making me uncomfortable."
And then that's it! It's never brought up again, Garnet's actions are treated as correct by the narrative, and, not only is nothing learned by the characters, younger viewers have potentially learned a very toxic lesson on how to respond to people who are still in the unlearning process but have spirit.
It's not about 'getting it right' all the time.
It's about being willing to learn when you need to and being willing to teach when the necessity arises.
What do you mean it's never brought up again? There's an entire episode about it where Garnet re-evaluates her harshness with Peridot and proceeds to try to connect with her on the topic with more care and understanding several times over the course of multiple weeks. Garnet's initial reaction is one hundred per cent justified. If a trans woman who fled execution in her home country was working on an important project and somebody from that country who'd been a threat to her up until a week ago when they were suddenly put on the same project together came up to her, looked her in the eye and said "um, can you dress like a man when you're here? You're making me uncomfortable," she would absolutely be justified in not immediately reacting with a gentle willingness to teach. If a gay couple fled execution in their home country and somebody from that country who'd been a threat to her up until a week ago when they were suddenly put on the same project together came up to them, looked them in the eye and said, "can you not hold hands in public? You're making me uncomfortable," they would absolutely be justified in not immediately reacting with a gentle willingness to teach.
I'm losing it a little at this post because not only is providing an example with a cartoon of all things for real social justice kinda silly but also it wasn't even the right kind of example for the reasons said above. when people say "got the right spirit" they mean that someone is being supportive even without knowing how i.e. if they only know the term "transvestite" when referring to trans people, and said "it's not my business if you're a transvestite, it's your business how you present," that's a correct attitude, wrong terminology, can be educated. someone making demands for a gay couple to not hold hands because it makes them feel icky is very much not that
