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anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

this is me being grumpy in the summer heat but i think that access to shade is an accessibility/walkability/quality of life issue and i'm so serious about that

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

Wenn der Wetterbericht wieder eine Lüge ist und die Hitze nächste Woche so weitergeht, fahre ich persönlich nach Berlin und opfere Katherina Reiche an die Regengötter

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

“its supposed to show interplay between characters” um they can do that in church 🤨

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

doomscrolling thru the weather app

The UK gets a new prime minister just whenever. Completely random intervals

It may seem random but it’s actually not! We get a new prime minister after the previous one enters a protective chrysalis after a period of relentless eating and growing, and they then dissolve into a biological soup. They then reform into the new adult prime minister. It really beautiful to see 🥰