Welcome to the JaiLore

Do I miss some foods I can't eat anymore without getting sick? Sure, but that's not what really bothers me. What bothers me is being excluded from a huge portion of human social life of which food is a crucial component. What bothers me is the stress and social stigma of trying to figure out what I can safely eat. What bothers me is the amount of extra work and cost that is required of me to identify, obtain, and prepare safe foods. What bothers me is people treating my needs like a nuisance, as though I chose to be like this - as though their brief inconvenience to check an ingredients list is unreasonable, when I deal with this every day of my life forever.

I don't miss the food that much. I miss not having to worry about what I eat. I miss freedom. I miss when trying new foods and new restaurants was fun instead of a minefield. I miss not having to plan my entire life around the need for safe foods.

ik nobody's talking about these songs anymore but I've been thinkin about this ship ever since ERB came out so... I call this "Confessions of a Rotten Ego Renegade Boy" because it's dumb and it fits them

*(Read: Assertive of our boundaries and stood firm on the fact that our identities are deserving of respect)

We should be allowed to make a sour face or take a cold tone with someone when they carelessly misgender us for the fifth time in a row despite multiple corrections. We should be allowed to complain about erasure and ask where our needs and experiences come into play when we hear people reinforcing binary normativity in their discussions of gender related issues. We should be allowed to be visibly/audibly angry with other trans people when they try to forcibly categorize us as fem or masc, or imply that our enbyness is a mere phase that will eventually lead to "real/full" (binary to binary) transition.

no, you don’t have to date that guy just cuz he wants to date you.

no, you don’t have to stay with her because she doesn’t want to break up.

no, you don’t have to keep dating them even though they haven’t cheated/abused you/whatever horrible thing is your only reference for ending a relationship.

And that's not bad! It's true for a lot of people! You CAN go back later! You can apply to university, you can get your GED, you can pursue whatever level of education you want. It's not bad to share that message. If you dropped out and want to go back eventually, there is zero timeline. You can go back at any age, with any life experience. You do not have to graduate by a specific age.

But as someone who dropped out of college over a decade ago, sometimes "you can always go back!" starts to feel a little like an empty platitude. Sometimes it starts to feel grating instead of hopeful. Even when it might technically be true, sometimes it still feels like a hollow sentiment.

I just want to say, to anyone else out there who feels that way, who dropped out and CAN'T go back, potentially EVER, whether it's due to poverty or disability or any other reason:

It's okay to drop out and never go back. It might feel shitty, and you may even feel grief over it. That's real, and painful, and allowed. But you are not lesser. Even if you never go back, you are not a failure or a loser. Academics do not define your worth. You are not stupid. And it is almost certain that the system actually failed YOU.

With love,

I dont care if 9/10 of the people who use the wheelchair ramp arent actually in wheelchairs. As long as the 1 person who needs it has access to it.

I dont care if 9/10 people who use the automatic push button on the library door can actually push the door open themselves. As long as the 1 person who the door is too heavy for gets to use it.

I dont care if 9/10 people who buy the can tab opener, or the little guitar clamp that holds the chords for you, or the hand grip that helps you hold chop sticks, don't need any of it and just get it to "be lazy". As long as the one disabled person who needs it gets access to it.

I do not care. Oh my GOD I do not care. As long as there's a disabled person on this planet who the accessibility device will benefit, the accessibility device is necessary.

Its very hard to get government assistance, and the government claims its so they can weed out fakers, but all this results in is millions of disabled people waiting years for benefits or die waiting, even though assistance fraud is actually quite rare.