Jacob Blogs Forever

Yall ever procrastinate sleeping? Like you should be asleep and you want to but you just.. keep doing more things for no reason?

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: “…nah, I can’t eat this dude, that would be fucked up”

im in tears

when you’re cozy in bed and you hear heavy rain reblog if you agree

anyone else think about the sigourney weaver snake venom nail polish scene from holes literally all the goddamn time

I was just WAITING for the cat and I was not disappointed

I would die for your cat.

gonna try using tumblr on my 3DS

i have successfully logged in after 5 attempts

there are no images and very little CSS that works. i am amazed that I can see icons at all

APPARENTLY MY MOMS BOYFRIEND HAD JURY DUTY WITH JOHN MULANEY AND WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM

imagine going to the jury and seeing him like i wouldn’t be able to keep it together emotionally i’d just be disqualified the plaintiff would be like “he stole my assets” and i’d be like I Have Fired The Criminal Catcher

John Mulaney Gives You The Death Sentence (ASMR)

Imagine being on trial and you look over at the jury and John Mulaney is just sitting there. How do you handle that, psychologically. How do you not conclude your life has turned into a piece of absurdist theatre

“We of the Jury have determined that the Defendant has the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”