because, evan

You needed more.

Your entire body was on fire, writhing as you tried to get closer to him. His hand was under your scrubs, rolling your nipple in between his thumb and finger while his other hand was on the car next to your head. Your fingers tugged at his silver curls as your lips meshed together passionately; teeth and tongues clashing before he nipped at your lip, making you gasp.

You needed more.

Your hands slipped under Jacks shirt, your fingertips dragged down his chest slowly and softly, touching every part of his toned body. You smiled against his lips when he groaned at your touch over his trousers. He was already so hard from this, and the way he rutted his hips against the palm of your hand, the moans passing through his lips; it just turned you on all the more.

You needed more.

You had absolutely no idea how you got here. One moment you were in Trauma Two, machines beeping erratically as Langdon attempted an intubation; the next Dr Jack Abbott had you up against your car in the staff parking lot, pawing at you. This was all sorts of wrong, but it felt so right. You didn't care about anything; you didn't care if anyone saw you or where you were.

You needed more.

Your body shuddered, a gasp escaping your lips when Jack's hand slipped into under the waistband of your grey scrubs. Your head flopped uncomfortably backwards and Jack wasted no time in burying his face in your neck, catching the skin in between his teeth, making you suck in air through yours. You tried to guide his hand further down, to where you needed him most and he chuckled as he brought his mouth from your neck.

"So desperate for me." He said, his fingers slowly tracing a path along your covered slit. "So wet for me already." He cooed cockily.

Before you could reply, Jack slipped his fingers under your waistband and pushed a finger inside you, another finding your clit. The most obscene noise escaped your lips; one that you were sure the entire city heard, let alone your coworkers and patients inside the hospital. Jack's lustful eyes watched your face intensely as he fingered you expertly. Your eyes fluttered closed and Jack tutted.

"Keep your eyes on me." He said.

Then he stopped and looked at you. He repeated your name. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at him, his voice morphing into someone else's.

"Helloooo? You're starting to scare me now!"

You blinked. Machines were faintly beeping, people were talking around you and Jack's face began to morph into Mateo's.

"Huh? What?"

"Jeeez, Rocket, you okay?" Mateo asked, leaning his elbows on the desk next to you. "It's not like you to be so...away with the fairies."

You'd known Mateo for a while, having worked the day shift together before he made the switch. Besides Doctors Mel King, who was your roommate, and Trinity Santos, Mateo was your closest friend. You told them everything. Well, mostly everything.

"I'm just not used to the night shift." You told him. It wasn't a total lie, the first four hours of your first night shift had challenged you more than you thought. It was true what they said; the night shift was weird, even more so when it was a full moon, like tonight. Not to mention, you'd usually be in bed right now.

If Dana or Shen, even Robby, asked you to cover, you would've had an excuse locked and loaded, you might have even just said "No" without an excuse. The fact that Jack Abbott had asked you, well, that changed everything. He could ask you to do anything, and you'd say yes. You had a little soft spot for Jack. He was always kind to you, he was a good doctor, a good teacher. and he made you laugh. It also helped that he was easy on the eyes. You just genuinely liked working with the guy. The word No just wasn't in your vocabulary when it came to Jack.

Especially since you'd started fantasising about him when you were in bed.

It had started innocently enough. You were de-stressing with your vibrator after a hard shift at PTMC and Jack had appeared at the foot of your bed, wearing the SWAT uniform you'd seen him in that day. The thought of him standing there, watching you get yourself off, brought you to the quickest orgasm. Now, whenever you climbed into bed, your fantasies included Jack, and every now and then, when you fell asleep, he infiltrated your dreams. Sometimes they were hot and heavy, but more often than not they were soft, domestic dreams; the kind where you were having breakfast together. One time, you dreamt you and Jack had three children and you were hosting a childs birthday party. No matter the dream, you woke up in a sweaty, confused state.

Mateo's laugh broke you out of your thoughts, and you groaned, making a little thump sound when you dropped your head on the desk.

"It's okay, it gets easier, trust me." Mateo said, softly, as he patted your back. "Now, come help me in triage, that'll pull you out of your funk."

-

Mateo was right, triage had definitely pulled you out of your funk, but it had put you in a different kind of funk. Patients had been filing in more than they were getting seen to. You had been shouted at, grabbed at, spat at and even had a bottle thrown at you, yet you persevered. You understood their frustrations, the system fucking sucks; but you couldn't understand taking it out on an overworked, underpaid employee. Sometimes, you hated that nursing was your calling.

"Listen to me, sweetheart." A greying, pudgy shoved his finger inches from your face as he waved a styrofoam cup of water around in the other. "I have been waiting for seven hours!"

You plastered a fake smile on your face. "I understand, Sir, but as I've already explained-"

"I don't want to hear excuses!" He yelled. As he did, he flung his hands up in the air, the cup of water splashed you, drenching the front of your scrubs. The patient didn't care though, he just kept shouting. "Do your fuckin' job and make sure I'm next!"

"Let me see what I can do." You replied through gritted teeth before you turned on your heels.

You stormed through the ER with a face like thunder and storms in your eyes. Everyone you stalked past seemed to know to give you a wide berth as you headed to grab a pair of clean scrubs.

You turned the corner quickly, completely unaware of the liquid on the floor that had yet to be cleaned up. Before you hit the floor, a pair of thick arms wrapped around your waist, catching you in mid air. You were met by Jack's twinkling eyes and you almost melted into his embrace. Neither of you moved, almost as if you both had forgotten where you were.

"Nice reflexes Abbott, you still got it!" Shen chortled.

You crash landed back to Earth, suddenly aware of where you were, and the fact that people were witnessing this. Your face was on fire as Jack helped you stand upright. You pulled away from him as soon as you were the right way up and stepped back.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to check you out?" Jack asked, his head tilted to the side as he glanced you up and down for any injuries.

"I'm fine!" You snapped. "Just leave me alone!"

You marched right past a chuckling Shen and Ellis, avoiding their gazes as Shen side-stepped out of your way.

You grabbed a pair of scrubs and headed to an empty room, slamming the door behind you while you pulled your scrub top over your head and sat on the bed. "Fuck this night." You muttered to yourself. You didn't hear anyone enter the room until you heard the door clicked shut.

"We need to talk."

You groaned. "Seriously? What part of "leave me alone" don't you understand?" The words left your mouth before you realised, but you didn't move.

Jack tutted and you could almost hear his smirk. "You really shouldn't talk to me like that."

He wasn't chastising you, or scolding you, and you almost wished he was; it would make you feel better. You sighed and stood up to face him.

Jack stared at you. Not at your face but at your chest. You glanced down and realised your black bra was visible. Heat ran through your veins and down to your crotch, and you cleared your throat. Jack's eyes flitted back to your face. You noted a faint smirk and a twinkle in his eye, and your mouth completely dried up.

Jack was a flirty guy; you'd seen it when you'd worked with him. The way he flirted a little with a patient to put them at ease, or with the other nurses to get what he wanted. He seemed different with you, less flirty, but he was more...friendly. He'd bring you a cup of coffee, just because he'd made one for himself. He'd give you a sweet treat, just because he had an extra one. He'd recommend books or movies that he'd seen that he thought you'd like, or even tell you that a song reminded him of you. He'd even bought you a card and a mug that branded you the Best Nurse Ever for your birthday last year.

This right here though, this felt different. You couldn't put your finger on what it was, it was just different. The air in the room seemed to dissipate.

Was Jack getting closer?

The door flung open and you squeaked and jumped backwards. Mateo stared at the scene in front of him with a raised eyebrow, before he turned to Jack.

"Doctor Abbott, we have incoming. Fifty year old female with an apparant heart attack. Shens tied up with another patient."

"Thank you, Mateo. We'll be right there." Jack said, his gaze fixed on you as you pulled the top over your vest.

Mateo nodded and stepped out the room, and you began to follow him. Jack grabbed your wrist softly as you tried to slip past him.

You stared up at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, but he didn't. Your tongue swept across your dry lips and Jack noticed. You watched his Adams apple bob and you inhaled as you imagined running your tongue across it.

"There's- we need to-" You pulled away again and rushed out the room, your heart beating erratically.

-

Jack had been relentless since your interaction. He'd asked your advice even though he clearly didn't need it, put you on every one of his patients; standing so close that you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. He hovered around you when you chatting to Mateo, staring intently like he was trying to see into your soul, or worse, your brain. It was like he knew you were avoiding him and he refused to let you.

He was driving you fucking crazy; mentally and sexually.

You had figured that any time you thought Jack was being flirty, it was all in your head. Tonight, however, was making you doubt everything, and you didn't like that. You'd always thought you were the outlier, that you weren't like everyone else to him.

What a fucking idiot you are.

It seemed the universe had decided you needed a break, because Dana waltzed into the ER two hours early like your very own fairy god charge nurse and granted you an early finish.

"Are you sure, Dana?" You asked, and she gave you a soft smile as she placed her hand on your shoulder.

"Course I am, kid. The first night shift is always the hardest. Go. Get some rest before tonight."

You thanked her and rushed to the nurses station before she changed her mind, or told you it was a prank. You grabbed your bag from the desk, but somehow managed to miss it completely, spilling the contents and some medical files onto the floor. You rolled your eyes and dropped to your knees, just as Dr Robby and Jack appeared on the other side, unbeknownst to you, and them.

"So, what's going on with you and that pocket rocket nurse?" Robby asked Jack, and you froze. You were the pocket rocket nurse. It was what some- okay most- of your coworkers called you, because usually you were always on the move, zipping from patient to patient, making sure everyone was stable and cared for as much as you could.

You slinked further to the floor, your back resting against the drawers as you cleared the mess up at a turtles pace. You knew you shouldn't eavesdrop, but how could you leave now?

"Nothing. She's a good nurse. I like working with her." Jack replied.

"So...you've never thought about it?" Robby pushed, and your heart began to race again. You were hanging on every word like it was a great audio book. There was a long pause. Had Jack thought about it?

You heard three taps on the wood before Robby laughed. "Hellooo? Fuck, Abbott, you're thinking about it right now, aren't you?!"

You bit down on your bottom lip, imaging Jack's flushed face.

"Fuck off man, she's just a kid."

Your stomach sank as ice ran through your veins.

"You're fucking ridiculous, Jack. A kid?" Robby scoffed. "She's like, mid thirties."

"Drop it, Robby." Jack warned. "She's young, she's-"

You stopped listening as you pushed the rest of your belongings into your bag, feeling like a deflated balloon. Sitting here on the floor, listening in to your attendings personal conversation; for a glimpse of sunshine, a sliver of hope to prove to yourself you weren't delusional, well, it had backfired.

You needed to get out of here, before you were caught and your ego took an even bigger hit.

However, the universe had other plans.

"Hey! What are you doing on the floor? Are you okay?"

Your roommate, Mel King, pulled you up off the floor before you couldsl say or do anything. You could feel Jack and Robbys eyes burning holes in the back of your skull amd you wanted the ground to open up underneath you.

"I'm okay." You muttered to Mel, who was using her stethoscope to check your chest. "Mel, seriously, I'm fine! I just dropped my bag."

"You didn't faint? Lose consciousness?" Mel continued, and you batted her hand away.

"I'm fine, I promise!" You insisted before spilling past her and rushing off.

-

Your eyes stung as you rushed across the parking lot. Bile rose up your throat as embarrassment washed over you. Jack didn't have those kind of feelings for you.

You had been certain that you didn't have a crush on Jack. That these feelings were purely physical, that you'd get it out of your system and move past it eventually. How hadn't you seen this before? The way your heart skipped several beats when Jack flashed that winning smile at you, the one that ended with him biting his lip. The electricity you felt when your gloved hands grazed his, or how your breath hitched when he placed his hand on the small of your back as he slipped past you.

You thought your the fantasies were harmless, turns out the only person they were hurting was you.

You fiercely wiped the stray tear from your cheek. Were you allowed to cry? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That was the saying right? Well, you had certainly done that, and now here you were. A woman in her thirties with feelings for her boss that had maybe, twenty years on her. You were a total fucking cliche.

You pulled your keys out of your bag and dropped them instantly. You threw your head back and groaned.

"Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?" You shouted to the sky.

You bent down. As you did, someone loomed over you, blocking the sun, their hand outstretched for you to take.

You didn't need to look up to know who it was. It wasn't just that you recognised the hand, it was everything about the way they stood, the aura around them. The way your stomach did a back flip. You just knew.

How did you ever think you didn't have a crush on Jack Abbott?

You reluctantly took Jack's hand and let him pull you up, trying not to think about the way his engulfed yours.

"You okay?" Jack asked, and you nodded as you hoisted your bag onto your shoulder. "You sure?"

"I'm fine. I'm tired." You replied, shortly. Jack raised his eyebrow at you. "What?"

"Do you need me to do anything? Are you okay to drive?"

"You've done enough." You snapped. Jack's eyes widened slightly, a hint of amusement etched on his face as he held his hands up in mock surrender.

"Me? What have I done?"

You rolled your eyes and exhaled through your nose. "You have been on my back all night. I wasn't the only nurse on shift!"

"You're my favourite nurse." Jack said with a shrug of his shoulder, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh my God." You scoffed, which made Jack's facial expression change as he sighed.

"Okay, listen to me-" His tone changed as he began to scold you, which only made your anger level rise.

"Doctor Abbott, please stop patronising me. I'm not a fucking kid."

Jack's expression changed again as the realisation hit him. He knew from the way you ran out without saying goodbye to anyone in your vicinity that you were embarrassed by being found on the floor, but it hadn't really occurred to him that you'd heard his and Robbys conversation. Nor had it occurred to him that you might have been offended by it.

He took a step closer, which made you back off. You didn't get far as your back hit the car and Jack smirked down at you.

"You're upset about what I said to Robby?"

He framed it as a question, but it was definitely more a statement. You chuckled nervously and shook your head.

"No. I just- I don't want you to see me as some little girl who can't handle herself." You replied, and Jack laughed.

Oh, sweetheart." He said. The word sounding very different to how the patient said it earlier, and it made your insides tingle. "I am very well aware you can handle yourself, but why do you care what I think?"

You stared at him like a deer in headlights. There was no misreading this situation, he was definitely flirting with you, seeing how far he could push you, to see what you would do.

You shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for wanting a handsome man to think good things about her."

Jacks cheeks flushed, and it made you beam with pride. "You think I'm handsome?"

You let out a genuine laugh. Was he not aware of the affect he had on most people? "Come on Jack, you know what you do to everyone, right?"

Jack tilted his head as his eyes grew darker. "Do you know what you do to me?"

For a split second, you were speechless. Your heart was pounding in your ears, hammering away in your chest; and yet, your confidence soared. The way he was looking at you, it was like one of your dreams.

"Well, why don't you show me?"

Jack swallowed as he stepped closer to you, pressing his entire body against yours. Your flattened your palm against the car door to ground yourself as your breath hitched, the anticipation almost sending you up to Heaven. You were certain you were going to wake up any second.

Jack's eyes darted to your lips before he inhaled, then stepped back. "I can't."

You crash landed back to Earth. Rejection seeped into every pore as you let out the breath you'd been holding. Jack reached out to you before he changed his mind and let his arm drop back to his side.

"It's not you, it's me." He said, making you scoff. "No, I know, it's the oldest line in the book, but it really is me."

"Jack- it's fine, just stop-" You tried to interrupt, but his word vomit just kept spilling out.

"I'm in therapy trying to move past losing my wife and my leg. I'm older than you, and not by a short margin! I have baggage inside my baggage and I- Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. You brighten up my life! Every time I'm around you, I'm honoured to be basking in your sunshine. I watch you in work and I stand in complete awe of you. Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful but I just-"

You threw yourself into Jack before either of you could react and cut him off with a kiss. Jack responded to the kiss instantly, his hands cupping your cheeks as your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. It took Jack a few seconds, but he pulled away reluctantly, which made you chase his lips.

"We shouldn't." He said quietly. "We can't."

"We're both adults, Jack. If we want to, we can."

Apparently, Jack didn't need to hear anything else. He pulled you back towards him and planted his lips on yours, the force pushing you back against the car. This kiss was deeper, more passionate; like he'd finally let go of all the qualms he had.

The kiss was better than anything your mind had ever conjured up. Feeling his curls wrapped around your fingers, his body against yours, was indescribable, and you were thankful for the car behind you because you were pretty sure your legs had turned to jelly. You never wanted this to end, but you needed more.

Jack's hands began to roam. His fingers traced a path from your jawline, down your neck, passed your shoulders and finally to your breasts; grabbing at them over your scrub top, his mouth never leaving yours.

"Need more." Jack mumbled as he slipped his hand up your scrubs, under your vest and eventually your bra. He groped at your breast, rolling your nipple through his fingers as he squeezed.

You giggled as you pawed his hand away and he whined as he flashed you wide eyes and a pout, almost resembling a little puppy. You turned your back on Jack and pulled your keys from your bag as Jack attacked yours neck, still palming your breasts, this time over your clothes.

"People are going to see us." You giggled and Jack smiled against your neck.

"Let them watch."

You laughed and pushed your ass against his crotch as you pulled the car door open. "Get in." You ordered.

"Yes Ma'am." Jack replied, earnestly.

Once Jack had situated himself as comfortably as he could in the back seat, you threw one leg over him and sat in his lap as you closed the door. Jack watched in lustful awe while you stripped off until you were left in your bra.

"Are you okay?" You asked, placing your hand on his prosthetic leg that was hidden under his scrubs.

He smiled at you and leaned up to place a soft kiss on your lips. "I'm fucking wonderful." He answered, bringing his hands around your waist and up your back. His hands hovered over your bra clasp.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"I've thought about nothing else." You confessed before you kissed him once again. You couldn't get enough of him and you found yourself grinding against him as he unhooked your bra and began to massage your breasts.

It all felt beyond incredible. Every nerve in your body stood upright. Making out with Jack in the back of your car like a couple of teenagers, grinding against his cock which you could feel getting harder underneath you, it felt better than you ever envisioned. You couldn't believe this was happening while you were awake.

Jack made you gasp into his mouth when he slipped his hand under the waistband of your trousers and ran his fingers up and down your damp underwear.

"Need this off. Now." He grunted. Who were you to deny what Jack needed?

You leaned up on your knees as Jack held your waist, and shimmied your scrubs and underwear down to your ankles. Jack's mouth had once again found your tit and was rolling his tongue around your nipple as he sucked furiously. You moaned and tugged at his pants, and he obliged, hitching his hips slightly so you could tug them down. You sat on his cock, which was struggling to be contained by his black boxers.

The way Jack moaned your name made you grind down on him harder. You smirked as little mews escaped his mouth and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"I can feel how wet you are for me." He groaned, one hand snaking around to grab your ass while his thumb flicked against your clit.

You couldn't form any words, let alone a coherent sentence, especially when Jack pushed himself against you, the black fabric causing friction against your cunt. You still needed more.

You needed to feel all of him, in all his glory- something your imagination wasn't able to conjure up.

Jack kissed up your jawline, to your cheek, then started to nibble your ear. Your hand slipped under his boxers and Jack breathed your name. You lifted your hips and grabbed Jacks thick cock in your hand as you pulled it out of its confines.

Before you could continue, Jack stopped you. Your eyes shot up to meet his and he smiled, in an attempt to quell your fears.

"Are you sure? We don't have to go any further, we can-"

With Jack's cock still in your hand, you placed your free hand on his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb. You leaned forward and Jack met you halfway. This kiss was soft and passionate, a kiss that screamed this means more. You smirked into the kiss as Jack's cock twitched in your hand and he pulled himself from the kiss. He smiled at you as he pushed your damp hair from your face and behind your ears.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered. You grinned, as red tinted your cheeks and you leaned in for another kiss.

You found yourself grinding against Jack as you kissed, his tip teasing you with every movement. Between that, the kiss and Jack's moans, you couldn't take it anymore. You positioned yourself correctly and you eased yourself down onto him.

The sensation made Jack throw his head back against the seat as your hands gripped his shoulders, his moans growing louder as you took every inch. You rocked back and fort, keeping your eyes on Jack's wonderful face as he struggled to compose himself.

"I- fuck. I'm not gonna last." Jack grunted as his fingers gripped your waist tight.

"Aw, that's okay old man." You teased.

"I'll show you old." Jack said before thrusting into you hard. You rolled your hips, pathetic whimpers were all you could muster up.

You knew three things. One, that between the steamed up windows and the way the car was rocking; everybody walking past wouldn't need to guess about what was happening. The second, you didn't care if they knew. The last thing, this couldn't be the last time you did this with Jack.

Your mind wandered to Jack's leg, and you began to worry about the toll this would be taking on it. So, you took over. You held his shoulders and bounced on his cock, as he left a work of art on your tits and neck with his teeth.

He moaned your name, his grip on your waist tightening. You were sure you'd be bruised tomorrow, and you'd wear them with pride.

"I can't- I'm gonna-" He panted.

"Me too, Jack." You breathed. You changed the pace, rocking slowly against him. "Come for me, Doctor Abbott."

"Fuck, oh fuck!"

You reached your peak at the same time and your eyes fluttered shut as you rode the wave. Everything about it was euphoric, and you knew this had ruined everybody else for you. You'd never be satisfied with anyone other than Jack.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, quietly as he took your hands in his. You opened your eyes and a smile broke out. He was looking at you in the sweetest way, like all he wanted to do was take care of you.

You pushed his damp curls from his forehead and kissed him.

"I'm amazing." You said, earning a beaming smile from Jack. It was one you hadn't seen before, one that instantly became your favourite.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, and you snorted at the randomly timed question. Right on cue, your stomach rumbled, a reminder that you'd only had a sandwich early into the shift. "Let's go get some breakfast."

"Okay!" You said, excitedly. Sure, you were famished, but you also relished the idea of spending more time with Jack. You carefully lifted your leg over him and pulled your clothes back on before jumping over the console into the driver's seat. Jack handed you the keys, but just before you could make a quick getaway, there was a loud knock on your window. Jack tried to make himself as small as possible before you opened the window halfway.

"You're still here?! I thought Dana let you go home an hour ago!" Trinity said, loudly.

"Oh yeah. I-uh-" Your eyes shot to the rearview mirror where you saw Jack slouched in the back seat, smirking at your flushed face. "-I fell asleep?"

Trinity smirked, her eyebrow raised. You knew Trinity like the back of your hand, and you knew she didn't believe you.

"Are you good? You're not too...overwhelmed to drive?"

"No, no. I'm good." You replied while turning the key in the ignition. "I should go, get some proper sleep before tonight."

"Alright, girl, I'll see you later." She said, before ducking her head in the window as much as she could. "Bye, Doctor Abbott!"

Your eyes widened, your flushed face now the colour of a tomato. Jack leaned forward and rested his elbows on the back of your seat.

"Shouldn't you be working, Doctor Santos?" He asked in a teasing tone, a smirk on his face for good measure.

"Yes, boss!" She said with a salute. As she backed away from the car, she mouthed "I want all the deets!" at you, and you shook your head.

"Well," you turned to Jack as you spoke, "that's going to be around the hospital in about five minutes."