The most trusted name in evolution

don’t listen to what anyone says the elephant really ties the room together

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

Everyone loves me because I produce a thin slime that functions as a potent neurotoxin

the dildo in question which also seems to have a short story

scroll for me my angel of blogging

more singers should add gut wrenching screams in their songs. for me. on my behalf.

see this scar right here? That's from when my own pet cigarette turned on me and bit me as a child. my father had to put it down in the shed with an ash tray

the worst thing about house of leaves is how Stupid I look reading it in public lmao. yes I know I’m holding the book upside down and turning it in circles

can’t homosexuals be normal for once? Why are they always mentally ill or going through the 7th circle of hell??

Getting into a car accident is just like the Wizard of Oz. You’re suddenly thrown into a wild situation with potential casualties and you have to go talk to one of the most powerful people in all the land (insurance guy) to get your stuff back. Usually you’re joined by someone without a brain (a cop), someone without a heart (a cop), and someone without courage (a cop)

Guards? That man holds virtue like a font, and wisdom like a well. Seize and milk him.

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

the dumbest person alive has come to warn you that fruit has sugar in it