Secretly A Cat Blog

We genuinely need to kill and eat anyone who likes music

a baby at work the other day gave me the meanest look i've ever seen as it got lifted out of a cesarean. 1 second old and already hating. you can't teach that.

I appreciate the way hitting the word "cesarean" forces me to go back and reevaluate the earlier phrase "at work"

You got cum on your face you big disgrace

not what he said!!

We will we will fuck you

Well, at least she died doing what she loved—getting her dick sucked.

I cant come to your birthday there's a big ass skullll flying araound

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

sexual thrill at the mere prospect of cataloging things in a database

why the FUCK is there a big spider on my bedroom wall it doesn't look like any spider i've ever seen in my entire life what the fuck

are you sure it's a spider?

oh that's a wolf spider. they taste like celery and pork and they aren't poisonous.

why is it in my room

and why do you know what it tastes like

@sicklythiasus why do you know what a wolf spider tastes like

nom nom.

what

yummy yummy in my tummy tummy

when and why did you eat a wolf spider

why was your solution to eat them

i mean, no one else was gonna.

kissing you on the forehead

with tongue?

with tongue. 🥰