My Head is a Galaxy

my cat: hm. i have counterpoint

me: impossible. what is it.

my cat:

☁ head in the clouds ☁  // available on inprnt

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous

“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone

Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”

It would take u like 100 years to major in everything

Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot

Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u

College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature

Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler

If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

Okay tier star trek: Spock and T’Pring recognize that they have their differences and don’t see eye to eye. They don’t get along and don’t talk at all once their bond is broken but they understand that they have differing approaches to logic

im glad u asked! some quick tips:

-its ‘jewish people’ not ‘jews’ (if a jewish person calls themself a jew its their business but goyim Shouldnt)

-we aren’t all zionists! most of us are anti-israel so please don’t ask someone their stance on it when you find out someone is jewish

-goy and gentile mean the same thing and neither are slurs

-on that note, goy is singular, goyim is plural, and goyische is an adjective

-jews of color exist and are erased and underrepresented both by gentiles and other jewish people

-we dont all speak hebrew!!! i can only do a couple of prayers phonetically and some jewish people can’t even do that

-judaism is a culture as well as a religion-hanukkah isnt jewish christmas (its better)