A Caramel Sugar Baby

winking

clenching

pulsing

fluttering

contracting

twitching

sucking

quivering

pulsating

throbbing

beating

thumping

thudding

pounding

humming

palpitate

vibrate

grinding

crushing

hammering

lashing

knocking

driving

thrusting

pushing

force

injecting

filling

dilate

stretching

lingering

expanding

bouncing

reaming

elongate

enlarge

unfolding

yielding

sternly

firmly

tightly 

harshly

thoroughly

consistently

precision

accuracy

carefully

demanding

strictly

restriction

meticulously

scrupulously

rigorously

rim

edge

lip

circle

band

encircling

enclosing

surrounding

piercing

curl

lock

twist

coil

spiral

whorl

dip

wet

soak

madly

wildly

noisily

rowdily

rambunctiously

decadent

degenerate

immoral

indulgent

accept

take

invite

nook

indentation

niche

depression

indent

depress

delay

tossing

writhing

flailing

squirming

rolling

wriggling

wiggling

thrashing

struggling

grappling

striving

Arouse -  agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

1. Remove the discomfort around being alone. Take the time to learn yourself, by yourself. Do it often.

2. Start anew. Pretend you are learning to love a stranger. Familiarize yourself with even the most menial aspects of yourself, learn it wholly.

3. Understand and accept that you have changed, you are changing, and you will change. Attach yourself to nothing too tightly if you want to grow.

4. Grow more comfortable listening to the faint impulse within you. Follow it as much as you can, no matter how faint until you can hear it clearly.

The goal is to create an air of desire about you. Seduction (especially in romantic relationships) is impossible if you are not deemed desirable by society or at least in your community. When people are drawn to you and you seem exclusive you will have the power over anyone under your spell. This is why traditionally pageants would always choose the same girls, why we all have the same image of what a “trophy wife” is supposed to be. Unfortunately, those tropes also have racist/ colorist undertones. But do not be discouraged. A thin blonde is born with this trope projected upon her but you as an individual can cultivate that image for yourself. ( you still have to be beautiful and in shape I.e Miss Universe 2020 isn’t the standard but her beauty threatens the standard) Beauty is important even if it doesn’t fit the standard.

A high Self esteem and confidence are imperative For any of this to work.

Create a brand for yourself, and make it exclusive. The campier the better. You want to be extra, you are a dream after all. Appeal to a certain desire. In this case, the trope that should be your inspiration is the ideal lover. (these tactics transcend romance) Be reminiscent of a fictional character. You need a social media presence to do this.

Create mystery. The best way to do this is to not be an open book or common. Add a little campiness to your personality and cliches. Be the girl who effortlessly wears heels to class or to the office everyday. You won’t look like a try hard if it matches your energy.

Never publicly deny or confirm rumors or assumptions about you. Don’t get mad at gossip. In fact, you need people to gossip about you, it will only add to your mystery. Even ignite gossip about yourself. It’s good to have gossips around you, but only let them know what you don’t mind getting out.

The ideal lover is a fetish. This is not pc, but stop being afraid of being a fetish. You don’t think the exotic look is a fetish for pro-athletes? It is! But those women stay winning in said field. In fact, when someone sees you as a fetish, you shouldn’t run away- monetize it! Be the token if it will benefit you. (I’m not encouraging use your position to discriminate against your own or to crab climb. As a bw, I didnt make the game, and I’m not gonna play fair when no one else does.)

People want what others want. Only date men of a high status who display a passionate effort. (Think about Lauren from love is blind) When people see how much he caters to you they will think higher of you. His want for you will make them want you or want to be you. These relationships can be temporary so don’t harp on character. If and when he messes up leave. Never be afraid to leave and maintain your standards at work and in relationships.

Cultivate an inner circle but stay friendly to outsiders. Your circle needs to be desired obviously. Be strategic; the people you keep around you greatly impact your lifestyle, mindset and perceived value. It’s important to have at least one true good friend but don’t harp on how “real” everybody is. You need strong and diverse connections. Have a friend who is crazy supportive of you.

Never reveal that your an escort on the side, or that you keep multiple sources of income. They will fuck once, pay and leave. These are the type of men that will invest in you, spoil you with diamonds, birkins, cars, vacations & allowances.

Rule No. 1

Be a sexy rich bitch with class & cunningness.

Rule No. 2

Act like a luxury, Dress to kill, Talk with your eyes and movement (keep stillness, remain subtle, make your presence felt tactfully).

Rule No. 3

Be mysterious & ambiguous in answering questions. Never reveal more than they should know. Be unreadable as It will save your life.

Rule No. 4

Keep them interested, Play mindgames, Make them feel wanted but act is you don’t care simultaneously. They’ll do whatever to get your attention.

Rule No. 5

Make them do most of the talking in conversations, but Take over in the sheets. Figure out his insecurities & remember small details he said carelessly. Compliment those areas, say you trust him, make him open up & feel important. He will be scared to lose you.

Rule No. 6

Be feminine, sweet & motherly occasionally. Make them remember that you are reliable & genuine. But disappear few days. Let them know they have to put effort & time in you.

Rule No. 7

Build trust, never reveal your intentions, Make progress adequately, be attentive underneath the surface & plan the right moment to ask (perhaps if his in a good mood that day or intentionally make him feel guilty, MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE HE OWE YOU)

Rule No. 8

Always leave him pleased, show that you are unpredictable & full of surprises. Be spontaneous.

Rule No. 9

Be the best, be unforgettable & lastly

MAKE THEM DIE FOR YOU.

Tips on How To Give Your Life To God:

- Pray 3 times a day: morning, afternoon, and night (it is not going to be easy and you are going to get lazy, but that is what is expected of you because you are only human, but you MUST gain power over your flesh) this is your communication with God prioritize it because he hears you and knows his son/daughters desires 

 - Read your Bible: find out what the bible says for itself (not from a sermon, devotional, friends, family, society) the bible is actually very interesting, and again the Word of God is healing and transformative. He has made the impossible possible multiple times because I was using his word. Psalm is pretty easy to read so you can start out with reading one chapter from Psalm every day.

- Clean your environment: take a break from the movies, tv shows, books, and yes music that contains negative things in them. These things consume your mind and distract you, and they might be the reason why you are thinking about rejection and anxiety when it comes to making friends. Give it a break and when YOU ARE READY (if God gives you that conviction) take it out of your life.

- Worship Sessions: Find Christian music that you like! If you don’t know the words, look it up, and just shout the lyrics as loud as possible! Have fun, dance, and cry. Worshiping is so powerful and I always feel a connection with Jesus when I worship. It is so intimate. (I like to do this in my room alone lol I do not like people watching me, but I also worship hard in church too, but I really go all out in my room)

- Fasting: DO NOT fast if you are not spiritually ready. When I was younger I tried to fast when I was not ready and it was the worst thing ever for me. You have to be intentional! You do not have to do a food fast completely, fasting is just taking something away that you know your flesh loves and cannot live without, because by doing so, you are showing Jesus he is the only one that you need to live, and you can live on the Word of God! (I do a social media, tv, music, and tv fast to cleanse my mind) You can do a 5 hr fast, 6am-6pm, water fast, a full day, a week, whatever you feel comfortable with but just take baby steps. but GIIIIRRRL fasts are the biggest ways to grow closer to God and get big prayers answered (if it is His will for you), you feel untouchable coming out of a fast.

*Again these things will feel weird first starting out, its like eating vegetables, it feels weird, but its good for you plus growing closer to God is beyond being just good for you, its life-changing-- YOU ARE about to be on the winning team*

Fav. Verse when I am feeling tired, scared, discouraged: 

28 Do you not know?    Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God,    the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary,    and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary    and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary,    and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord    will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;    they will run and not grow weary,    they will walk and not be faint.

How to be Confident:

tips and rules to apply and live by:

To really feel more confident and to get a clearer vision of how, establish what things in life your most confident version of yourself would have. What would they look like? How would they carry themselves or do things differently from you now? Create a vision board or write it down so you can understand what exactly you want and start working towards that right now.

Confidence is more than appearance. Which means if you feel you’re not enough, can’t achieve a certain goal, or succeed in life then that’s what your subconscious (inner critic) is going to keep feeding you. You have to feel, believe and know you can do anything you put your mind to in which, you can. Don’t let bad thoughts keep you from what you’re already destined for. Reprogram your subconscious beliefs. Try to be more optimistic.

Practice and preach self assured and positive affirmations everyday, multiples times a day. If you have to write them down on a sticky note and post them on a mirror or wall, do it. If you have to set some as your locksceen, do it. When saying affirmations, always say them in present tense. Examples; “I am successful in everything i do.” “There is power within me.” “I ask, I believe, I receive.” “My confidence knows no limit.” “I am beautifully made.” Being consistent in saying affirmations is steps of many to uplifting and boosting your confidence.

Stop comparing yourself to others, grow compare yourself to the person you was yesterday and how you can be better today. Everyday is a new day, a new start, use that to its fullest. Instead, look up to people that inspire you to learn and make you want to be your best self.

Have plenty of “me” time or moments where you spend time alone. Learning to be more comfortable in your own skin and get to know who you really are as a person is really important. It gives you time to learn how to be more in tune with yourself. Eat out alone, meditate, treat yourself to things that’ll make you feel better about you or at your best—skincare, makeup, clothes, plants, books. As well as taking needed breaks from social media. Which helps to clear your mind, give yourself a break and focus on tasks without distractions.

Speak kindly of yourself (reframe from negative talk), smile more, be kind to others, be softer on yourself and not to hard by focusing on solutions to problems and not all the bad of it. Stay away from negative people and things that could lower you vibrations or bring you out of character.

Don’t let outside validation value who you are nor seek it. Ignore outside opinions that don’t enhance your life.

Take steps in working on your presence and mimick the “confident posture.” If you walk and act like you got it like that, that’s what others around you is going to see as well as how you would feel. Examples; walk with your head held high, eye contact, compliment people, be more assertive and speak up and speak clearly when you talk etc. The saying “fake it to you make it!” is to act like something you are not, yet but you can become it if you put in the work.

Create personal boundaries, first step is to learn how to say no when you’re really saying yes. Challenge yourself everyday and push your self to grow. Set a small goal at first, achieve it and repeat. Getting out your comfort zone and facing your fears is the biggest goal of all and is very life changing. Accomplishing something you was scare to do and it turning out better than expected, is the most satisfying thing and raises your confidence times ten. Understand that once your mind is set on something, you can be successful at it everytime. Also understand that if you run into a setback, it’s only a matter of time before you bounce back.

Confidence is not everyone liking you. It is feeling good about yourself, not needing approval & knowing you’re the “it girl” whether someone like you or not.

To improve myself in every aspect, I’ll be reading (at least) a book a week for the next four months:

PSYCHOLOGY:

√ The Happiness Advantage

√ Thinking Fast, and Slow

 Blink (read in 2017 but refresher needed)

LITERATURE:

Atlas Shrugged

Metamorphoses

√ Metamorphosis

√ Beowulf

√ Utopia

FINE ART:

√ Poetics

√ The Lives of the Artists

Art and Illusion

BUSINESS:

√ Tax Free Wealth

√ Rich Dad, Poor Dad

STRATEGY:

Start with Why

Art of Seduction (refresher)

Art of War (refresher)

√ The Prince

√ Geisha: A Life

The Elements of Style

√ How to Win Friends and Influence People

JUST FOR FUN:

A Brief History of Time

The Universe in a Nutshell

X The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (did not like this at all, didn’t even finish it, read chapters throughout hoping it would get better, pretty much thought it was crap all the way around.)

Never reveal that your an escort on the side, or that you keep multiple sources of income. They will fuck once, pay and leave. These are the type of men that will invest in you, spoil you with diamonds, birkins, cars, vacations & allowances.

Rule No. 1

Be a sexy rich bitch with class & cunningness.

Rule No. 2

Act like a luxury, Dress to kill, Talk with your eyes and movement (keep stillness, remain subtle, make your presence felt tactfully).

Rule No. 3

Be mysterious & ambiguous in answering questions. Never reveal more than they should know. Be unreadable as It will save your life.

Rule No. 4

Keep them interested, Play mindgames, Make them feel wanted but act is you don’t care simultaneously. They’ll do whatever to get your attention.

Rule No. 5

Make them do most of the talking in conversations, but Take over in the sheets. Figure out his insecurities & remember small details he said carelessly. Compliment those areas, say you trust him, make him open up & feel important. He will be scared to lose you.

Rule No. 6

Be feminine, sweet & motherly occasionally. Make them remember that you are reliable & genuine. But disappear few days. Let them know they have to put effort & time in you.

Rule No. 7

Build trust, never reveal your intentions, Make progress adequately, be attentive underneath the surface & plan the right moment to ask (perhaps if his in a good mood that day or intentionally make him feel guilty, MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE HE OWE YOU)

Rule No. 8

Always leave him pleased, show that you are unpredictable & full of surprises. Be spontaneous.

Rule No. 9

Be the best, be unforgettable & lastly

MAKE THEM DIE FOR YOU.

Here’s all the pdfs I’ve encountered so far. Feel free to share these links. They are permanent.

Abraham Hicks

Ask and it is given

The amazing power of deliberate intent

Astonishing power of emotions

The vortex

Money and the law of attraction

Rhonda Byrne

Hero

How the secret changed my life

The power

The magic

The secret

Neville Goddard - Feeling is the secret

How to create win win situations 

Dr. Joe Dispenza - Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself - How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

Bon Vita - Make Your Dreams Your Reality How To Manifest Your Every Desire 

Veronica Isles - Distinct Desire (manifest love / specific person)

Kamal Ravikant Yasser - Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It 

Jen Sincero - You Are a Badass - How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

On Tumblr sugar community I see a lot of posts about how you have to look a certain way to attract rich men and how to achieve that look. Being smart comes up here and there but I’ve never seen a detailed how-to post about it like the ones about appearance.

Honestly? I am quite lazy about my appearance upkeep (and I’m the first one to admit this is something I need to improve) and never had any problems getting successful men to fall for me. And they all say how charmed they are by my intelligence, and how fascinating it is to talk to me.

In my opinion, if you’re young and cute and have proper hygiene you’re most likely attractive enough for them to be attracted to you. Of course, the look is important, but here’s the thing; it isn’t a dealbreaker for men with money because a lot of it can be fixed by throwing money at it.

I’ve had a man who gave me 10k to be his date for a charity dinner. He spent another 10k on my look for the day. He had his assistant arrange everything: hair to pedicure, gown, shoes, jewelry, what have you. At that event, there was a girl who was a date to another man at the dinner. She was gorgeous. Possibly the most gorgeous at the table, but she didn’t know what NATO was. Everyone else at the table was engaging in conversations about international affairs and the girl just sat there, embarassed and visibly bored.

To spend money on you he needs to enjoy spending time with you and in order to enjoy spending time with you, he needs to enjoy talking to you. This is especially true if you’re taking the SGF route that requires a more genuine connection.

Sorry for long preface here are the tips~

I skipped the generic tips like keep eye contact, really listen to him blah blah blah… y’all probably already know that.

1. Absorb information

Documentaries, podcasts, books, what have you. The kind middle aged men are interested in and also the kind they aren’t, so you can get both “Oh she likes this stuff, too. Awesome” and “Wow that’s something I didn’t know of. She has her own unique taste. Cool.”

I will do a “podcasts I listen to as an SB” post, so that might be helpful.

2. Make that information your own and form your own opinions

If you just keep bringing up facts after facts, you’ll just sound obnoxious and you don’t want that. The knowledge you absorbed should be a tool for conversation, not the conversation itself.

3. You can have “bad” taste, but you must have a taste.

You can like things that aren’t liked by others. You don’t have to like all the “right” things. But you have to know what you like or don’t like and why, and be able to elaborate on it. If you can do that, they will not look down on you for liking the “wrong” thing. They respect you for being opinionated, and being able to stand by an unpopular opinion. For example, certain movies that I love are considered trashy by cinephiles as well as the general population. But I can go on and on about why I enjoy them. This pot sat across from me with his eyes sparkling in interest, as I went on a tangent about why one of the worst movies in this country’s film history is actually a cinematic masterpiece. He thought it was ridiculous, in a good way.

You know how it’s so cute when someone talks excitedly about something they are passionate about? That’s how your SD will see you and that makes him fall for you.

4. Stay rooted to your culture and heritage. Constantly learn more about it.

This is particularly important to me as an Asian SB whose target demographic is foreign expats, but it applies to everybody. If you’re conversing with someone from the same culture, you can bond over it, and with someone from a different culture you can share and enlighten. SDs often ask me why people here do certain things certain way, and I would tell them the history behind it, and they will be surprised. They will say that the domestic officials they work with here had not been able to explain them and instead said “idk we just do it” and they are supposed to be experts that run this country. If you can fulfil their curiosity, you will be interesting.

5. Don’t be afraid to change topics and be random

A lot of the times the reason people get stuck is because they are trying to stay on topic when it’s okay to move on to another. If he’s clearly passionate about a topic, don’t force the change and instead just listen and respond to him, but if the conversation stagnates, he obviously does not feel the need to talk more about the topic, so jump to another one. It can be unrelated to the previous thing you were talking about. One time I didn’t know what to talk about and then I saw a recycling bin outside so I said, “I recently watched a documentary about plastic recycling facilities…” and the conversation went from there. This is where #1 comes in handy.

6. Share anecdotes, the defining moments of your life. They don’t have to be real.

This makes them feel like they’re really getting to know you and getting closer to you. If you don’t have anything interesting or you just don’t want to share personal stuff with him, make something up. Make something up beforehand and repeat it a few times in your head so you can tell them naturally as if it’s true. Have several stories made up for SDs and pots.

7. Share future plans and aspirations. Again, doesn’t need to be real.

Same reason as above apply, and also, if your life is going nowhere, that can make you boring. Successful men are driven and they usually like people who are equally as driven. Also, if they truly are generous they will want to help, and even if the goal is fake you most likely still can benefit from it. I told my SD why I want to buy a house as soon as I can and exactly how I plan to do that, he was extremely impressed that I had such a detailed plan that actually makes sense, and offered to give me some money so I can have my planned deposit right now instead of having to keep saving till the end of next year like I planned, as well as use his connections to help me get a good deal with mortgage. (Imma get the other daddy to pay that mortgage let me tell you)

8. Sense of humor can be cultivated.

I love stand-up comedy and sitcoms. They do help with sense of humor and the jokes themselves come in handy when a situation relevant to the joke comes up. If it’s a common joke just steal it, if it’s not, you can say, “Comedian (insert name) said, (joke)” and it’s still funny and that’s what’s important. Also, inside jokes will make him feel really connected to you. Stay away from self-deprecating humor, though. A little bit can be funny but when it comes to SDs you want to maximize your value so don’t diminish that, not even for humor.

I am also guilty of stealing a lot of jokes I saw on Tumblr… lmao

9. It’s less about the topic itself and more about what you do with it and how you do it.

1. Persona

- Why do you want to change/reinvent yourself? Whether it’s to gain more confidence, to be a better version of yourself or to be happy with yourself, write a list of reasons as to why you want to make a change. I highly recommend journaling, it is important to journal your intentions and in this situation, journaling how you envision your future self to be is important. Write down where you see yourself in the next couple of years, months, days, or even weeks down to the T. Writing how you see your future self is a guideline, it causes you to want to keep going and keep striving. I forgot where I got this from, but it’s a good visualization technique. Earlier last year, I wrote down four of my idols and listed all the characteristics of each of them (Example: Kimora Lee Simmons/Confident, bold, unapologetic, bougie, knows what she wants) and I eventually studied their characteristics and obtained them. 

- Being Selfish with Your Time. When you make a decision to reinvent yourself and to go on a mental detox, cleansing your circle is extremely important. I read an article that says you should determine your current friends by asking yourself;

What kind of people surrounds me?

How are they acting towards me?

What are they doing for me?

Are they useful for my development and my personality?

If all of these answers are negative, you should drop them. The moment you detect someone doesn’t have good intentions, you should remove their access to you. In order to be confident, you should look at yourself as a luxury, not everyone should have the advantage to talk to you. Be stingy with your time and who you associate with. If you are surrounding yourself with people who aren’t doing anything productive and who are negative, it’s causing you to have the same mindset as them. Your inner circle should be full of same-minded individuals who are dedicated, smart, and genuine. It’s important to drop people who don’t match these criteria. Know your worth. Don’t give others second chances. People should only mess you over ONCE!! You have to let people know that they can’t treat you less than what you deserve. 

3. Being Confidence and Self Assured. It takes months or even years to reach a good amount of confidence. If you constantly work on your self every day and even “fake” the confidence, you will eventually obtain that ideal confident, self-assured persona. From Kimora herself, she says “confidence is what will get you noticed, it will give you credibility, it’s what will provide you with status.” Being passive, quiet and assertive is not helping you grow. You have to show more aggression, stick up for yourself and let others know you’re not the one to mess with. When you walk in a room, others should automatically straighten their posture and get intimidated by your presence. People should always talk to you with respect, and if they have the nerve to disrespect you, you should take it upon yourself to not allow it. Ask for what you want unapologetically. Practice talking in a loud, bold, clear tone and practice sitting up straight. Do little things like holding your head high and give others DIRECT eye contact. If you talk quiet voice, slouch, and have a persona that screams insecure, you can’t possibly expect others to respect you. Be assertive when you send your communication across. Know your worth. You should not tolerate games and disrespect. You should never mope around and get depressed. Like Naomi said herself, “when I feel an attack, I withdraw. I disappear, replenish, and then come back.” Work on your confidence everyday until you perfect it.

4. Moving in Silence. I’ve mentioned this sooo many times on my blog, so I’m going to be brief. Don’t tell others your goals. Don’t tell others nothing, tell others enough information so that they think they know what you’re up to. Even your closest friends. You never know who has hidden intentions. Promise to keep your goals between yourself and ONLY yourself. Don’t be the type to post subs on social media. No classy woman does this. They don’t even think to do something childish like that. Really think before communicating with others. Words are extremely powerful. Put yourself first while you’re on this “boss up mentality” journey. You don’t have to associate with others on an everyday basis. Get in tune with yourself and focus on your development.

5. Independence. This is so important! I learned a long time ago to not count on anyone for anything. Rely on yourself and only yourself. Open your own doors in life, resolve your own problems. Learn to do things on your own, learn to solve your own problems. Don’t rely on anyone to help you with anything in life. You got this, you should have the mindset that you don’t need anyone’s help.

2. Lifestyle: LOA and Manifesting

1. Start Being in Tune with your Mind/Thoughts. We often think negative without even knowing it. Start eliminating phrases like I can’t and exchange them with I will. This will obvi take time, but sooner or later you will subconsciously always think positive without having to correct your negative thoughts. You can’t begin manifesting if you’re negative. If you start to think negative please catch yourself and get out of that mindset. You should remain to have a positive mindset at all times. Turn every situation you encounter into a positive, flip a bad situation into a good situation.

2. Begin Journaling. Writing down your goals on paper lets the universe know your intentions. Journal about how you envision your future self to be down to the T. Not even that, but journaling about your feelings is ten times better than ranting to someone. Vent about your day, your future goals, and what you want to do better the following week. Set yourself goals every month and as you begin to accomplish them one by one, you’ll feel satisfied.

3. Create Mood Boards/Vision boards!! This is something I personally love to do. Having pictures of how you envision your future self is important!! Especially vision boards, it’s helpful to outline how you want the following year to be. Looking at your vision board is used as inspiration and causes you to keep going. Examples of my mood boards:

4. Gather Some Affirmatives. Example: money is flowing into my life easily and effortlessly. You should come with at least five or six. Saying affirmative out loud the beginning of the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. This is extremely important!! You can not begin manifesting if you do not have some affirmatives that apply for your future goals. You can even look up positive affirmative on YouTube to listen to throughout the day. Set reminders every morning in your phone to remind you to read your affirmatives. Mind you, affirmatives and manifesting doesn’t work automatically. You have to continue working hard towards your goals every second of the day in order to accomplish them! Then, you will see results. The universe will NOT present you with abundance if you are just saying affirmative but not doing anything to make a change! Here are some of my favorites affirmatives on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmjrC-A5l7o&t=685s (wealth affirmatives)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5HGdD5tttg (positivity affirmatives)

5. Start Meditating. I can’t stress this enough, this is one of the main factors of manifesting (and why it works for me). Take 10-25 minutes out of your day to relax and meditate. Say your affirmative in your mind while doing so for a more positive effect. Meditation is also great for stress and anxiety. Take time out of your day to do this.

6. Get a Hobby. This is so important for everyone to do. In order to be the ultimate bougie, high-maintenance girl, you need to have a hobby. You need to be constantly busy with yourself so that you’re not sitting around with nothing to do. Don’t make yourself too available to people. Take yoga classes, take dance classes, take art classes; something so that you can focus on your own craft and have fun while doing so! Even if it’s something simple like learning a new language, having something to do during your freetime is fulfilling.

Why are you telling me this? You already know all your problems. You know what is wrong and you know what you want. My guess is you already know the solution to this problem too.

What you lack is discipline. It’s the one main thing in your life you must change before its too late and you find yourself blankly re-reading the same line of an upside down book in a elderly home fifty years from now.

The more time you spend thinking about your desires, the less time you spend actually chasing after them. It’ll eventually drive you insane, you know.

Stop saying “Someday”. “Some” day is today, how about that? Forgive me for being dreadfully morbid, but you could literally die tomorrow. And what’s your greatest achievement? Being mediocre? Is that really what you want? 

Do tomorrow’s work today, and do today’s work now. It’s the only way to stop you from becoming even more lazy and stagnant. 

I’m not going to baby you, I’m not your mother. I’m here to tell you to get some discipline, otherwise you will waste your entire life wondering what could’ve been.

So you have the ambition. You have all the answers. All you lack is the discipline.

Unsurprisingly, this is a problem most people have, so don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Tell me, do you have a concrete goal? Or is it something vague like, “Rule the world”, or “get rich” or “become famous”?

Usually those who lack discipline have a habit of getting ahead of themselves and they end up having all these fantastic goals without any knowledge of how to achieve them. They have big ambitions, but no clear plans, no visible steps, and no foundation to start their life on. It’s the equivalent of standing on one side of the river and being able to see the other side, but having no method of making it across.

It’s good to have a starting point, and know what you want in the end. But the path to earning what you desire isn’t pre-made for you. It’s up to you to lay every brick and measure everything out. In your life, you’re the architect, you’re the engineer, you’re the investor, you’re everything.

So the how do you get some discipline?  It’s simple: You need to know how you’re going to do something, before you set out to do it.

Step 1: Get Motivated

Make a list. And make sure you handwrite it. Two columns. Think about everything you have a problem with, all your interests and passions, and everything you have ever wanted in one column. In the other column, spend as much time as you need to come up with solutions to each issue/goal. Don’t write one side, without the other.

Spend a couple days looking at that list. Make it into a poster, use it as your phone background, it doesn’t matter as long as you make sure you see it every day until you feel something. I’m saying that incredibly vaguely because people are fueled by different emotions. For me, it was rage.

Every morning, I stared at that list of everything I’d ever wanted, every little problem that made my life miserable and I got furious. To see what my life revolved around so callously written on paper, and feeling so close yet so far, that drove me insane. My anger made my passion double, and nothing fuels discipline more than passion.

Step 2: Plan

Once you’ve gotten yourself suitably motivated to take charge of your life, don’t waste any time. Start by creating a plan. Now that you know what you want to do, figure out how to do it.

Create a timeline for the next year and then a looser version for the next ten years. It can sound daunting, but when you fall off track at some point (and I can guarantee, you will) you’re going to need something to point you in the right direction.

For your detailed, one year plan, make sure your goals are distributed into two categories: Short term and Long term.  

For your short term goals, list everything you want to achieve in that year and how exactly you’re going to do it.

For example,  if you want to lose weight, I don’t just want to see you write down “lose weight”. Tell me how. Tell me how much. Tell me by when. “Lose five pounds by October by going to the gym 4 days a week”, or “Cut down on eating X food so I can lose 5 pounds by October”, etc. Be specific.

For your long term goals, pick 3 things you want in general. The first thing should be something you can achieve in that year, and it should be the focus of your entire year. The second thing is something you don’t necessarily need, but it makes you happy anyways (like spending more time on a hobby, or saving money for a new designer bag, etc.). The third thing should be something that stays fairly consistent in every single ‘year-plan’ you have. Ultimately, it’s either your most important desire, or very close to it.

These long term goals will help you put together your 10 year plan, and create a better sense of direction in your life.

Step 3: Prioritize

Learn to prioritize these tasks and goals. Don’t go to sleep until you’ve felt like you’ve completed all your tasks for the day. Don’t give in to distractions and the illusion of “well-deserved fun”. Sure, going clubbing may seem fun on  Saturday, but it won’t be fun on Sunday night when you’re frantically writing a paper that’s due in two hours. There’s always time for fun later, there’s always another concert and another football game and another party. But some things have a greater impact on your life than just one night of “fun”.

I’m not saying become some kind of a workaholic. There’s always a time and a place for everything. If you try to follow your plan without any distractions or any fun, you’re going to get bored and then you’re start to hate your plan and your life and then it gets messy. Avoid all that by knowing when you’ve earned a break. It’s very important to discern when you can afford to step away from work to have fun with your friends and when going out is just going to distract you from an important deadline. 

Step 4: Act

Now, don’t just write these goals down and shove them in a dusty file on your desk. Keep them within arms reach. Look at them frequently. What I like to do is every morning, I write down a short term goal I have for that week/day/month and one of my long-term goals in my planner. It’s just a little reminder and keeps me focused throughout the day. I don’t feel like my day is complete or productive until I’ve had some progress on either the long term or short term goal.

Also, keep in mind that while planning is a great thing to do, don’t expect yourself to stick to every single detail of the plan. Life happens, and there are certain things you cannot control (although it wouldn’t hurt to try). Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find yourself unable to complete one of your goals for the day/week/month. It happens to everyone, we’re all human. What you need to focus on is the big picture and move on. Don’t waste precious time wallowing in past mistakes. Time doesn’t wait for anyone, least of all for you.

Step 5: Commit

Discipline doesn’t come from just being motivated or having a plan. It comes from consistency. Form productive habits, start efficient routines, and stick to them. For example, if you want to become a writer, make sure you write something, however small it is, everyday. One sentence, one paragraph, one page, the amount doesn’t matter. It’s important to understand that something, however small, is better than nothing. This constant dedication to your work will help you move one step closer to your goals.

The more you force yourself to stay in line when faced with temptation, the easier it will be every other time you are faced with the same challenge further down the line. Everyone forms habits. Just make sure they’re the right ones and you’d be shocked at how much your life could change.

Everything you need to become disciplined is inside of you. Everyone has the willpower and motivation. It’s just some people know what to do with it.

Just remember: Get motivated. Plan. Prioritize. Act. Commit