Ay Wassup

munchausen syndrome is what hansel and gretel had

hang on i gotta google some things

yeah this is funny

fleek

god ok a few years back i had this friend who was like. an influencer. like a legitimate instagram influencer. paid promotions from makeup companies type. and we were talking and she was like wait how many tumblr followers do you have and i was like uhhhhhh 4k and she was like ooooo you should start doing advertisements on there get yourself some money. and i just quietly sat with the realization that we were two very, very different people

tumblr user pizza literally did this in like 2014 and got excommunicated

Staff just suggested we all did this and got bullied off their own post

lord help me because i can’t stop saying “i may have girlbossed too close to the sun” to myself whenever i do literally anything

i dont claim to be an expert on love but i think theres something to like… ok so my girlfriend got undertale on the switch a while back, right? and she’s definitely not a bad videogamer but it takes practice yknow, esp when youre doing a neutral route and actually fight stuff. so when she got to the hardest bosses i took the controller and beat them for her. not because she couldn’t, but because i love her. and that’s what my brother did when i was a kid playing sonic adventure 2 or whatever, not because i was dumb but because he was good at it and he loved me. and when i want my girlfriend to read something (a post, an essay, a novel) but she’s too tired to actually read so it i read it to her and i do silly voices and she laughs and we have more fun that way. when you hand a water bottle to your friend and they open it without you even having to ask. when you spent a million years fixing the flat tire on your bike and then your dad just takes the tools and does it for you. its not a judgement, it’s just a service. you could do it yourself, but why should you have to when you are loved?

This is funnier if you DON'T turn on the sound

it fucking pisses me off so much that the pieces of exodia card art don’t connect together in any way

12 words… say it and I’m yours

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

I was born an identical twin shortly after 911, my mum is CONVINCED me and my sister are the twin towers reincarnate

HUH

Submerging an Italian in olive oil like you would an Evangelion pilot in LCL so they can operate at maximum psychological capacity

this is what my bellisima mama did to me when i was but a six year old little bambine and now im so unbelievably fucked up

yeah ill reblog that