Certified Soft

i think about this post at least once a week

i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now

I don’t think the club could handle her

something i actually just realized on call w some friends recently is how crazey it is that your online friends are as many as thousands of feet above or below u right now. like if you teleported to their location without changing your height above sea level, well your fucked in some way basically

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

I KNEW I had seen this exact same image before! Good old "Organisms On or Near Appropriate Signs" project.

Dont unfollow me I can post about something you care even less about wait

"I guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear me" is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat

yesterday? blorbo stuff. today? blorbo stuff. tomorrow? you'll never guess

unleashing the skeleton army on an unsuspecting populace?

yes god finally one of you gets it