Osedax Oxblood’s Free Magic Consultation Service

So I've been seeing all these want ads lately looking for evil wizards (of course I am not going to apply because I am neither evil nor a wizard) and I mean up until now I guess I kind of thought "evil wizard" was just a descriptive phrase; I didn't realize it was also apparently, like, a job title.

yes my lego castle has a sex dungeon. is that a problem officer?

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

Bites into burger Hmmm this tastes like ash Looks at hands Covered in ash Looks around All is ashes A pitiless waste Resume eating

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

teenage trees tell young people thing like ‘yeah I think you should ask Stacy’s mom out, she seems totally into you’ but Stacy’s mom is a well known evil witch who was actually just looking to make them into a pot pie. Very sad, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what is youth for but making some small mistakes?

I see a lot of nobles out here who think "Well I have a 10,000 square foot castle, surely that's enough space for a knight." WRONG. Knights are WORKING BREEDS, they need to go on regular quests to prove their fealty and come home horribly wounded. I have seen SO MANY adopted knights DESPONDENT because their liege keeps them cooped up in a castle and won't let them go on quests. If you want an armored warrior who will be happy in your castle you need to get a castellan. They're closely related to the knight breed but adapted to the castle environment.

lesbian werewolf call that dykanthropy

Planting a towerberry in my garden so the local wild wizards have a safe habitat to go to