#pondering

Even if it is a rational and practical thought process on his part, rather than an emotional one, he still doesn't want that outcome and it's what starts his obsession with Spencer and why would *he* possibly want that.

While roughly 10+ years later, during the actual outbreak, when we do get his POV, primarily through the UC novelisation, he is just kind of vaguely annoyed. and just months later starts to utilise outbreaks in his favour, merely to distract his enemies.

That gradual slip in his humanity and him coming to allow himself to do more and more fucked up shit, is really interesting to me, because it is realistic. He simply became completely desensitized to human suffering over the years.

Must’ve been in year two (6-7 years old). Even then, I loved drawing, and people liked my drawings. One day, I had kids each asking me to draw them something, and I did so gladly. Even though I was just doing it for fun and to make my classmates happy, soon my they started wanting to pay me for it. As in they offered first, without any encouragement from me. They were giving me 10p, 20p, or whatever else you have spare when you’re that age, in exchange for a drawing. It was really exciting and I was proud of myself. The teacher, however, said I had to give the money back and that you don’t take people’s money like that, even when they’re offering it.

Now this isn’t a traumatic or upsetting memory by stretch of the imagination. She was a nice lady, I’m sure her logic was either worrying that it was impolite or not wanting the other kids to just not have their money or feel taken advantage of, or whatever. But I do wonder if this ingrained an idea in me that being paid for my art was something I should be cautious of.

I also wonder if the teacher had taken a different approach and said “well done, keep doing this and when you grow up, people will pay you for your art” or “well done, you earned that all by yourself”, or anything to that effect; that I might’ve grown-up with some business savvy or, at least, less anxiety and hesitation about opening myself up for commissions.

📚 Reading Better Than Free — AI generation love language 👀 August 11, 2026 at 10:04 am ❤️ 👍 😂 😢 😮 🔥 💭 Pondering August 11, 2026 at 4:40 pm ❤️ 👍 😂 😢 😮 🔥 https://x.com/i/status/2087108090315346123 How fast everything is changing. August 11, 2026 at 4:45 pm ❤️ 👍 😂 😢 😮 🔥 so true! August 13, 2026 at 6:16 am ❤️ 👍 😂 😢 😮 🔥 https://x.com/0xaneri/status/2088078391564239212 Well well, August…

...and the way that replica of Pre Columbian art made of tumbaga are often sold as... BROOCHES plated in 24K gold...

...and I see that someone (the brilliant beautiful people over at galería cano, which is now simply Cano Jewelry) has already gotten there, decades ago...