I Say Words

Moving to New York to be closer to family. By family I of course mean Zohran Mamdani, a man who is in no way related to me but I feel closer to than my own hypothetical child.

Since Oliver Tree died (RIP) I think I’m going to honor him by start a rumor that he knew his fate from the beginning and has been leaving hints in all his songs. It’s what he would’ve wanted.

I always assumed the way you contact Jeff Bezos is to upload a video/file labeled “Bambi’s Mother, still alive? (Photo evidence)” to the Amazon cloud. An alert will go off at headquarters that immediately displays the file in front of Bezos. Wait 5-7 business days and he will send an AI created parakeet with human feet to read you the official response.

I think once we get this cloning thing down, the first person we clone is Ms. Rachel. Of course, that clone will be evil. But if we clone that clone then she will be good! It’s a process, but it’ll be worth it

Ski is how sky should be spelt and sky is how ski should be spelt

Realizing I have free will and painting all of the bottoms of my shoes red

If you ever need encouragement to learn a new language, just know that half the Real Housewives of Miami understood the whole halftime show of the Super Bowl 2026 and you didn’t.

Why does Guy Fieri look like a Boyle cousin all of a sudden?

The first part of Rhode Island is actually an acronym for Real Housewives of Delusion Eyeland

I hate the year I caved and downloaded TikTok. I learned way too much about Jojo Siwa.

I’m ageless but not like The Age of Adaline kind of way more in the scary witch way.

Good news everyone! I increased the text size of everything on my phone. Everything is much more cartoonish and whimsical at this size

Do you guys ever just think about Eartha Kitt and the life she left behind for the rest of us?