you can stop you know. Since you’re a kid and probably don’t know better, I’m going to give you that. But still. What the fuck.
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you can stop you know. Since you’re a kid and probably don’t know better, I’m going to give you that. But still. What the fuck.

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My day will come, I gave too much
I sold my soul, I'm waiting for my pay in full
I only want your dying love, I've seen enough
I never wanna miss you again 💔
The reminders can be both weird and eerie and today was no exception. One movie that is (well was I guess) very special for me is Solstollarna which is the movie that I refered to in my latest post about Oliver Tree - the movie with the like main theme. It was a swedish summer program on the TV in 1985 and I have a VHS tape with some episodes. I am not good at explaning things but one character is Ulla-Bella and her and the director of the resort is played by the same actor; Ola Ström. My mother bought a magazine today. There was an article about him in it. In one episode Samantha Fox arrive in a helicopter - that was the scene that attacked me this week. Samantha talks to the director and they show her music video for ’Nothing’a gonna stop me now’ (not her actual music video but another version) The radio played that song this evening which lead to my mother talking about Solstollarna. What even.
Two months have went by since Oliver Tree died. I’ll never understand that word. Dead as in never again because how can it be never again for him too. It have been two months of crying every day. I have rearranged my movies so many times during these two months. I would never donate them no but I can never watch them again because of scenes that crush me when I remember them. They show themselves to me at the most unexpected times. I even put away two of my comfort movies. One whose like main theme play in my head at times. It’s like an echo that seems to call. Call for what? There’s no one here who can answer.

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"Life goes on." - Oliver Tree.
This song was released on May 28th, 2021; this was 13 days after my mom killed herself.
heyyy, party people. i just want to say that i'm still really fucking sad about oliver tree 🌲. i wish that it was some awful not-reading-the-room ass prank. i would be so mad, but at least if he was still here ... he should have had all the on and on's. and the karma police should've messed with someone else more deserving of that shit. can't really talk abt this anywhere else because all the real people i know are tired of hearing abt it. ahem, thank you for coming to my ted talk, i guess. did I mention, i'm sad?
WORK.all.DAY&then I wake uppp. WORK ALL DAY YEAH YEAH YEAH