- my heart opens to your voice -

You're not going to let me in there, are you? You've got your armour back on. That's that.

I have no armour left. You've stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me - whatever is left of me - whatever I am - I'm yours.

x

and like. do we have to keep gently phrasing things to protect naturally-thin people's feelings. in my life it has never been fashionable to be fat. "fat" is still a bad word. there has never been institutional power pushing people to gain weight; no trillion-dollar industry to "fix" skinny people. a larger body type has never been over-represented in models, influencers, celebrities. sure, people might say "i'm worried for your health," but they do it with respect and gentleness, like they're talking to a scared deer.

every single fucking time i talk about this, i have to be so careful with what i say, in case i offend even one skinny person. it is just true that skinny people have social capital across many cultures. there is a reason you almost never hear someone say "i wish i was fat," but you will constantly see people say "I wish i was thin." and yet inevitably some skinny person will tell me: i thought you wanted body positivity. it is the same fucking attitude as when a cis man says "when you say men have power, well, i've been bullied for being a man. i thought you believe in mental health awareness. don't you know men have a higher suicide rate?"

two things can be true at once: your experience being bullied for being thin was terrible. and people with larger bodies probably have it worse.

i have been big and small. i know many other people who have been big and small. trust what i'm about to tell you: being small is much easier. the world is kinder to you. people treat you better. honestly, this pattern occurs pretty much regardless of gender - my guy friends have confided that they'd rather be bullied for being thin than be bullied for being fat. if you're skinny, the pressure might be to gain weight, sure, but it's often to do so in a way that keeps you skinny - to gain muscle, specifically.

thinness is seen as innate and natural, genetic. whereas carrying any fat - that is a moral failing. it is assumed to be related to your character, your personality. i have seen people equate it to discipline, to hygiene. that bias is why we need to talk about this.

>recognize it as part of my divine punishment

Franz Joseph and Elisabeth were crowned King and Queen of Hungary by Hungarian Prime Minister Count Andrássy in Budapest on 8 June 1867

The coronation began at four o’clock in the morning with a twenty-one-gun salute from the Citadel of St. Gerhardsberg. At that early hour, people were already streaming from the countryside to the city, to line the streets.

At seven o’clock, the coronation procession set out from the castle. Eleven standard-bearers, chosen from among the high nobility, preceded Gyula Andrássy, wearing on his chest the large cross of the Order of St. Stephen and carrying the holy crown of Hungary. He was followed by gonfaloniers bearing the state insignia resting on red velvet pillows. Then came Franz Joseph.

The undisputed highlight of the procession was the Queen. All the Hungarian newspapers described her appearance in detail; Pester Lloyd, for example, reported, “On her head the diamond crown, the glittering symbol of sovereignty, but the expression of humility in her bowed bearing and traces of the deepest emotion on her noble features—thus she walked—or rather floated—along, as if one of the paintings that adorn the sacred chambers had stepped out of its frame and come to life. The appearance of the Queen here at the holy site produced a deep and lasting impression.”

At the solemn cathedral services, Franz Joseph was anointed King by the Primate of Hungary, but it was Andrássy—representing the palatine—who placed the crown on Franz Joseph’s head. Elisabeth, too, was anointed, but the crown, following an old custom, was held over her right shoulder—by Andrássy.