Meandering Muse

wen ke xing: im obsessed with you. i love you and believe we’re soulmates and i want to know and understand everything about you so i can love all of it, even if it’s really really really fucked up cause im chill like that ha ha

its crazy how feeling your feelings and having someone say "it makes sense that you are feeling that way" actually works. smh. I was having some Big Feelings about a thing that is objectively not that big a deal, due to my tragic backstory, (many such cases) and I told ship all about why this thing was bringing up all of those feelings and cried and they held me and now I'm like. Regular. now I'm like. ok I felt those feelings I didn't shove them away for being "unreasonable" OR act on them as though the amount of hurt I felt dictated the degree of Misstep on the part of the other people involved. I just felt them and we both went "it makes sense that this feels that bad" and then I was able to eat some almond butter and now I'm like ok! that hurt a lot, but that doesn't mean it sucked of them a lot. it only sucked of them a very small amount. it just hurt a lot for other reasons. and that's for me to handle. and now I can approach the situation as it is in reality, which is to say, as a situation that is Not That Big A Deal, but without feeling like I'm bottling up my reaction or betraying myself by ignoring how briefly unsafe it made me feel

this is why like. bc all trauma is relational, healing that has to also be relational. bc when we are hurt we have a strong need to have that pain recognized and acknowledged and not dismissed. if we have a safe person to express how we are feeling hurt to, who can see and validate that, then that meets that need.

#the more your pain is denied the more your behavior escalates in order to get the severity of the pain across.

90% of being good at ANYTHING

people always go "Instead of spending all that time on a study they could have just listened to us when we said these thing happen"

Someone just reblogged my dancing ghosts with “#digital art” and it doesn’t matter at all but I’m still fighting the urge to dm them “they are very much not digital! They’re chicken wire, tore my jeans, and left me covered in small, bleeding scratches! I got a tetanus shot about it!”