Screaming to the Void Helplessly @interruptingmooshroom - Tumblr Blog

"you sound smart" that's because i've spent years doing academic writing to the point that it's my default cadence plus or minus the use of profanity as a tone indicator

"you sound stupid" that's because i'm dumb as fuck

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kyra45

*goes to refill bottle of water using the sink at work*

*sees something blue wriggling under a plate in the sink while running water*

*lifts plate to find a blue tailed lizard now getting watered*

*turns off the water and stares at lizard very confused at how it got there*

*lizard manages to wriggle around even more until it goes through the drainage of the sink and disappears*

….well then.

kyra45

*goes back to resume filling bottle*

*lifts plate again*

*lizard is staring at me*

*stares back at it*

*lizard absconds into the drainage again*

kyra45

Listen. You got yourself into this situation.

#blue tailed skink #no that’s legit its name

greatwaytokillhim

still makes me laugh whenever i see it

jasper-rolls

FUCK OFF ARE YOU KIDDING

omegaversereloaded

Jesus comes back and just starts going around wordlessly showing people a video of the charlie kirk assassination on his phone but from the bullet's pov

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khrushchov

bobbole

Kibori Nicola, Big Plump Pigeon

assignedmale

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish.

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond.

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

yellow-hatco

Reblogged again for this drawing I made for it

221b-hound

Give us room to grow and see how we flourish.

despazito

They're not even letting pjackk have his url in death

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isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

isawken

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

amazoogle

let's develop a perfect plan

amazoogle

1. get cozy in bed

teo

Please don't go somewhere where I cant follow

blextrophy

coelii

This is what STDs look like

roadside--picnic

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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swordy-da-goat

stretch

6 hours this took

bigsoftbison

as a feminist i think girls should suck each other’s tits more

girlballs

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