To The Wind

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

they billed me for three?? three balls???

those coconut crabs shot amelia earhart’s plane down because they were misogynists.

me: im gonna go to bed early and get a good nights sleep netflix: here’s a bunch of 45 minute documentaries on the wildlife inhabiting coastal islands me: hhhdbhnnnnnnnnnnddndkkj coconut crab

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

If Game Changer wins an Emmy, Sam Reich is legally obligated to let me take his on a romantic weekend trip to Santa Barbara for the 'Gram.