GET UP, COWARD!

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

why does this have 85K notes

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

kep's favorite hobby is crawling onto your lap so he can breathe really loudly and wetly 1 inch away from your face. it is so so important to him that you let him do this.

I like how cats enjoy sitting on the backs of other creatures. They’ll do it to humans if you’re lying on your stomach or crouched down. They’ll do it to horses. They’ll do it to sheep. They’ll do it to big dogs. They just like doing it.

i do wonder how mamdani would have solved a problem like the green goblin

something i think about way too frequently is my ex was a sleep talker and would very very confidently and lucid-soundingly have completely nonsense conversations while 100% and one time he sat straight up after falling asleep watching 30 Rock and said “they just showed a closeup of a real human penis on 30 Rock”

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.