girls love having their little digital archives

getting murdered but i can’t even afford the name brand stuff so im getting snawed in half and scrabbed to death and shit

clicking not interested on something used to mean they stopped showing it to you

i've been struck by the whim to read mpreg fic but i'm so pro-abortion that 90% of the plots instantly fall apart for me. "i can't be pregnant!" okay well you don't have to be. what do you not have planned parenthood in the mpreg universe

I think my favorite kind of miscommunication to do in fanfic is when a character has only limited understanding of a situation (especially if that's because the other character is concealing something from them) and they use their limited knowledge to come to a conclusion that is 100% reasonable based on what they know, but completely off base from the truth

And, of course, this causes Problems

consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

Christians with the Eucharist.

this is the funniest fucking reply ive gotten on this post everyone go home

love the phrase "but I digress." yes I temporarily got lost in the moors I wander in my mind but don't worry I'm self-aware about it

went to the beach ten minutes after an actual thunderstorm and got so cold i started coming up with a “fish” cover of creep by Radiohead which I was singing out loud over and over again. imagine me waist deep in the waves no feeling in my legs getting over a cold voice singing “i wish i was urchin. you’re so fucking urchin”

Stop Humidity the air is trying to touch me Inappropriately

every episode of riverdale has a scene where a teen with too much hairstyle confronts a diabolical adult like "listen up bozo, i know you think youre all tough and comfortable running the show & calling the shots. but here's a newsflash for you, you goddamn monster: we're sick and tired of you using our town as your personal junk pool. i will hunt you down and stomp on your world. arrivederci, you bastard" & all throughout this the adult looks completely disarmed, scared shitless, terrified for their life, then two scenes later the adult will walk up to the teen & shoot them in the head point blank with a pump action shotgun. that's the cliffhanger, & the next episode opens with the teen in the hospital recovering from a mild contusion

why did somebody tag this as #contusion. is that for like an injury-based filing system or

the only thing stronger than the gastric distress i get from eating cherries is my love for eating cherries

what

thank you. im once again reminded why i love tumblr because where else could i get content like this

I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.

Niu Lai has not made its way onto tumblr yet so I guess my anglophone ass has to make a post about it

Good news: Niu Lai was only pulled from cinemas its hometown, because "the film’s poor quality could harm the city’s image." The rest of China is still screening it.

I told you about my cloud that rains down exploding frogs that insult me in confidence