Barely Real

local mourning dove goes viral for show-stopping performance in may 19th dawn chorus. when asked for comment, the rising star simply said “hhhrrroooOOOOO hooooo hoo. hooooo”

so sad that mourning doves are extinct now. sometimes i can still hear them hoo hoo hooing

Cars need to start being different colors again this is an epidemic

hozier’s little side quest narrations in between songs are so important to me. saw him (live !!! first time ever !!!!) today spend a solid three minutes going “i’ve just seen the most amazing bootleg hozier tshirt. if i could sell it without getting in loads of trouble i would. if i could WEAR it without getting in trouble i would. it says HOZIER and then it just has pictures of faramir from lord of the rings. oh no— oh i’m sorry, it’s a higher honor, it’s aragorn. and you have— is that boromir? and who’s that, that’s— that’s your fella from the princess bride” about a group of 3 people who had aragorn, boromir, and inigo montoya respectively on their “bootleg hozier” shirts. king.

we all have that one homie who volunteers to take first watch that they might contemplate the heavens in solitude

hate it when I'm eating and my stomach starts growling

if you could wait a fuckin second man big changes are coming I promise

sound on, obviously

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

The dykes and trannies in the notes have informed me they would like to be included in this commentary on the homogenizing forces of gentrification within the queer community as represented by language discourse around "slur" reclamation

winona ryder's character in stranger things has never been wrong even once and every time the fucking gravity turns off or whatever she says "hey thats weird right" and everyone in a 10 mile radius is like "woah category five woman moment incoming"

if i were joyce byers and somebody told me i was overreacting to anything i would say "remember the time an entire town thought i was insane but it turned out the government actually did fake my son's death after he got sucked into an alien hell dimension?" i would milk that for all it was worth for the rest of my life