stop daydreaming, dude

good morning kings let’s push this boulder

april fools in a few weeks. who will ask me to be their fool

if you're anywhere near northeast georgia you should go to the athens roller derby bout tonight it's an important event and the bigger the crowd the better

come through

why can't chomp be a food motivated treat enjoyer like so many other cats are... take your damn gabapentin bro

ok he seems to be eating it now (mostly) THANK YOU

Im About To Change My Entire Life With A Single Tumblr Reblog

studies show that you want me so bad

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

One time I spent money registering a domain like "dotat.horse" because I wanted an email address which was as difficult as possible to give out

I think it was something like [email protected]. I never used it for anything for obvious reasons

uncle's paradise