Walking With the Word

I will still choose you!

When the time comes that I don't feel my love for you, I will still choose you!

When temptation comes to find another one, I will still choose you!

When I'm angry and do not feel your love and support, I will still choose you!

When after a passionate discussion and misunderstanding come, I will still choose you!

When you feel discouraged and want to give up the life you have with me, I will still choose you!

When we are at the moment wondering whether this is love, I will still choose you!

Even after all of your mood swings, mistakes, past, thoughts, actions, and room-for-improvement character, I will choose you, again and again.

Other woman will never be my option. Finding someone "better" than you will have no room in my mind. There is no better than you! You will be the most desirable and beautiful. I will always love you and keep you.

In Love Yet Seenzoned

Last two weeks I was clouded by emotions. What these clouds pouring out to me was romantic excitement. Kilig. But after that, was a tragedy—8days and counting I was exhausted, disappointed with myself, stressed, and at the same time full of regrets. My work and my attitude in everything I do get affected by this particular person I am praying for.

She didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me—stretching and pruning to be the person God wanted me to be. And these 8 days taught me that I am not trusting fully the timing of the Lord in my life. Honestly speaking, not trusting Him not just the “timing”. What I always desire is, “I want that”, “I want her”, “I want to be the man for her” and so forth.

Immaturity, Unmanly, and Impatience.

It was a long long time that I prayed to God for someone else but that person was already married now. She is in the right person willed by the Lord. We are good friends until now. And that’s fine.

And this woman came. Never I thought that I will be too emotional for her. She’s friendly, trustworthy, beautiful, relational, and SMART. Perfect. So again and again, I thought she is the perfect wife for me. Yes, you heard it right, wife. Instead, to build a good and solid friendship with her, I messed up. I mistakenly and embarrassingly changed her nickname in messenger to a “sweet word” not knowing that she can see it. And because of that, I feel that I wasted her trust in me as a friend. Never will I question her distance and being cold towards me. Kahit sino naman siguro. Binigla mo ba naman e.

But these “distance” and her “coldness”, made me realize that I hate the word NO. I want to be the boss of my life. I have faith in the Lord, but what I wanted is always “yes” from Him. I don’t want to wait. Her seen zoned, only shows that I am too impatient. Her short reply, only reveals how immature I am and not good at handling my emotions. It made me cry every day. Literally, every day. Masakit pala. Sa pagmamahal pala may kasamang sakit talaga. Ngayon nalang ulit kasi. Tinamaan ako ng sobra.

In God’s Perfect Timing

Never will I point my finger at her. I am the man. I am the one sending my resume if I will be passed with her criteria as the man she wants. So now, I am waiting for God’s timing when will I lay down. But for now, I am back to square one with my relationship with this person. Building friendship with this “stranger”. And I hope that I will not waste the opportunity once again that she gave.

What I can do now is to pray—and nothing else and accepting the coldness and the distance between us. Struggle in my part, for I am the one who is so in love with this person. So no matter what happens even though I am not yet ready for a “no”. I will try to know her more. Ayokong humantong sa ganoon pero no one knows. Ayoko rin magkamali.

I will do everything that I can in a mature way. If she will say yes to pursue her, I will be glad. It is the best oppotunity to showcase who I am and how I trained myself for how many years. And if it will pass, I will be happy. If not, I will be wise—yet sorrowful.

Dear Men,

You Are A Protector Not A Player

Every one of us is created by God to be loved, not to be fooled around. The kind of love He designed for us is not a game that is meant to be played. Not the type that when you got bored, found it difficult, or you lose a round, you can just choose to exit or quit.

If you are still single, remember that you are not “late” for a relationship. Love is not a competition. It is not a race. Moreover, it is not just meant for the short-haul but it is designed to last a lifetime. Because a love story written by God is meant to be forever and not meant for a certain time. Love is a long, long road—the journey of two people committed with each other “until death do us part”.

We are called to be the protector of a woman’s heart. Her heart is not something you see on the playground that you can play anytime. Her heart is a treasure in the cave worth pursuing and protecting.

We are called to be the “wall of the house” who gives shield and protection from any harm. In addition to that, you are not only designed as the “Tank” who catches all the attacks to protect her heart but also the “Carry” who fights to win your love story until the end and the “Support” for all of her dreams and desires.

Women need men who will demonstrate the love of God—their warrior and protector (Exo. 15:13) and you are that man!

You Are A Builder Not A Destroyer

We are the ones who should initiate—the one who will plan and create. We are a builder of love, not demolisher. When you start something, finish it. If you are brave enough to start something in the name of love, be strong enough to end it forever. Do not let a woman fall for you if you're not ready to catch her.

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Songs 2:7). Don’t build emotional attachment if you will just cut it down the road. If you are not totally ready for a relationship, never play or trigger her emotions. Keep in mind that they have emotions too—vulnerable and fragile.

Just because everyone around you is happy with their relationship doesn’t mean you will rush to find one. Rushing things, especially, in the relationship can bring sorrow, not joy, and pain, not maturity. The world we live in is filled with broken people, hearts, and promises. It’s already too much to build another one.

You Are An Encourager Not A Teacher

You will be her companion—until the end. Be that someone who will never disregard her dream but the person who is there to help in achieving it. You are the person who will remind her how faithful God is when her world is out of control. And when her faith is down and her head is full of questions be there not as a teacher, feeling who knows exactly what is going on, but a “friend” and an encourager who’ll lead her to the Rock that is greater than you (Psalm 61:2).

When her mood is unpredictable be that someone who will take care of her. Have patience with her room-for-improvement character because both of you are work in progress. There will be passionate discussion or what you call “love fight” in the journey but never ever leave her. Apologize and accept each mistake. Not all men can do it but you are encouraged to do it.

God prepared a wonderful love story for you. Don’t compare your status with others because it will only bring you desperation and impatience to wait on God and to trust His best for you.

Remember, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. . .” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Dear Women,

You Are Not An Easy-To-Get Type of a Girl

Sometimes, your current age will give you pressure and desperation to be with someone else—hopefully, it is not. Age is not a barometer of your love life. Just because you are in the mid-thirties doesn’t mean you’re late or just because you are below twenties doesn’t mean you are early. There is no particular age in the Bible that speaks the best time to be in a relationship. However, it encourages you not to rush nor follow your heart. “Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right” (Song of Songs 2:7).

You are not an easy-to-get type of a girl but a worth-pursuing-princess kind of a woman.

How many young women’s hearts had been broken because they are in a hurry to be with somebody’s arm? How many women preferred to be single until now at their age due to the pain from their past relationship? Remember, you are not too late to be with someone else. God has perfect timing for your love life and sometimes different from your timetable.

Your Heart Is A Treasure

Just because you are available doesn’t mean your heart is always accessible.

I pray that your heart will be captured by Christ so that you will truly know and understand what love means. Through that, you can clearly distinguish who loves you truthfully and you will not fall to someone who will only break your heart in the future. Learn not to hand over your heart easily to another person’s hand for it is a treasure for someone that God meant for you.

Falling for someone who quickly says that he loves you the first time he meets you is a no-no, because God will lead you to the man who will love you for who you are, a man with honor, conviction, and a word. A man who will try his best to keep his promises. A man who will fight to achieve your agreed dreams and will always encourage you to have faith because your God is big.

You Are Designed For Joy

You are made for a reason. You have a purpose. God didn’t create you to be broken by someone who doesn’t care about your feelings. He made you to experience joy in the fullest by giving you a man who will take care of you, pray for you, encourage you, and remind you that what the both of you need is Christ.

God created you neither as an object to be used nor a thing to be toyed but a person to be loved, respected, and appreciated.

One day you will find a man who'll love you for who you are. Even though you think that you are not beautiful enough for somebody, there will be a man who will accept your flaws and room-for-improvement-character. A man who will stare at you and will be very proud of himself because he found a greatest treasure on earth. A man who will never compare you to the other girls because for him you are a priceless jewel he has for his life.

So, my hope is that you will be patient to wait for God because He will give you someone who will always be ready to carry you when your knees are tired. Someone who will always say you are beautiful the moment you wake up. Someone who will always give his wonderful smile that speaks how beautiful you are.

There is no more reassuring how valuable women are when they know they are secured in Christ. Trusting God’s timing is the best thing you can do now as a single. “If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed” (Hab. 2:3). God does not delay to give the desires of your heart and in answering your prayer. He is not slow to fulfill His promises.

Find,

Someone who will joyfully and willingly listen to your unending stories.

Someone who will never get bored with your looped talk.

Someone who will cheerfully try to get your witty jokes.

Someone who will not put his or her fingers over his or her ears when you sing but will sing with you as well even the both of you are out of tune.

Someone who will always push you to your limit because he or she believes you can.

Someone who will readily open the door when the sound of your footsteps is near at home even he or she is tired from work.

Someone who will accompany you in washing the dishes at night.

Someone who will never get tired to remind you to brush your teeth in the night.

Someone who will pray for you when you already sleep at night.

Someone who will join your food trip at 12:00 o’clock in the midnight.

Someone who will lovingly laugh and enjoy your first tried burnt cookies.

Someone who will make you realize that time is not measured by a clock but moments with you.

Someone who will never back out in life when things fall apart.

Someone who will hold your hand when you want to run from life.

Someone who will make you smile even the day is so dark.

Someone who will give you encouragement when you are down.

Someone who will not join you to backslide because of uncertainties in life.

Someone who will wake up early to prepare meals so that you can have food in your stomach before you go to work.

Someone who is excited to be your alarm clock.

Someone who will know what are those things you are capable of and will honor those pieces of you.

Someone who will never disregard your dream but help you to build and achieve it.

Someone who will not stop what you love to do for the world.

Someone who will fight for you.

Someone who will care for you.

Someone who will lift you up.

Someone who will remind you how faithful is God.

Someone who will push you to read the Bible and believe in His promises when you are disappointed with God.

Someone who will love you for who you are and will not force you to be the person he or she wants.

Someone who will accept your mistakes because he or she knows that both of you are work in progress.

Someone who will give you a hand to grow spiritually and emotionally and mentally.

Someone who will see your past as a beautiful sunrise because it shines the Son.

CoVid-19 seems unstoppable as of this day due to the non-decreasing number of infected people all over the world. Perhaps, the effect of this virus is fear in everyone’s heart. Fake news and disobedience of some politicians bring confusion and anger to everyone, and almost all of us are in their homes and doing their own thing to lessen their boredom during this season.

Some are still working in their homes and others are fighting for this pandemic outbreak. I honor and respect those frontliners who are still working and giving their time just to serve others, like us, despite their great exposure to this virus. I salute you. In addition to that, I am very thankful to those who are obediently staying in their homes. It is a big, big help for everyone. Moreover, you are not just helping others, but also yourself, knowing who you really are.

When The Days Are Dark It Reveals the Real You

You will know the person not just in the time of blessing and prosperity, but also in the time of problems and uncertainty. God allows this thing mainly not because He wants us to have fear and to suffer in our homes, but because He wants us to mature in our faith, grow spiritually, and discover the real treasure that is worth holding on to—which is Him.

COVID-19 exposes the strongholds and the false security we lean on. It also unveils our deepest desires for money, security, and power. It reveals some parts of who we are that we continuously hide. Have you noticed unChristlike characters on your part and the bad habits you are doing, especially, this time of quarantine? Have you observed where you spend most of your time?

Quarantine Is For Our Good

Enhanced Community Quarantine is ordered by our government to prevent the increase of the infected. For us Christians, it is not only for the sake of our health, but also for our spiritual growth and maturity in Christ. Therefore, this quarantine is calling us to enjoy Him in our homes. He is encouraging us to know Him more. He is pushing us to study His Word and to see wonderful jewels of His promises and gold of truth in the Bible as we dig down deep into the surface of the Scripture.

Are you not thankful that God is giving you rest; not for the rest sake but also for letting you know that He is the real rest if you are weary and carry heavy burdens in your life (Matt. 11:28)? Are you not grateful that God is allowing you to check your heart for the meantime? Are you not happy that during this unexpected situation He's still God who supplies your daily needs, who gives peace in the midst of the pandemic, and who provides a long period of time for you to enjoy your family?

What You Are Doing Shows What You Value

What you value is being shown by what you are doing during this time. Don't get me wrong, this is not to attack your Tiktoking. This message is not for that. The Bible is clear when it says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31).” The aim of this article is to challenge you to do things for the LORD and to know Him more by reading and studying His Word. R.C Sproul once said, “He gave us a Book, one that is not meant to sit on a shelf pressing dried flowers, but to be read, searched, digested, studied, and chiefly to be understood.” I hope we have no more excuses during this season, thinking that we have no time to spend with God through consistently having our quiet time. I’m also tapping my back.

If you value God, you will do things to know Him more, for no one can appreciate the value of a person unless someone gives time to know Him or her.

My hope and prayer is that this crucial time will leave us refreshed, extremely joyful, passionate, kind, compassionate, faithful, and obedient because we see the beauty and glory and power of Christ in the midst of this pandemic. Remember that “the LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him" (Nah. 1:7). and “The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe" (Ps. 18:10).

You are not an accident. You are one hundred percent prepared by the Lord before you exist in this world. You are made in His own image and likeness. Think about that! 

You are not a random idea.

You are planned by God. He made a perfect blueprint of you where every angle is completely computed. Even if you think there are “flaws” in you, think that it is one way of the Designer to make you unique from others. Your “imperfection” is perfect for Him.

You are destined for greatness. In life, there are heartbreaks and pain and disappointments and regrets because of inevitable circumstances, but don’t stay on that sad phase. Remember that you are not totally destined for that. Stand up from brokenness for there is a promise of a beautiful future ahead of you. Read Jeremiah 29:11.

You are infinitely loved. You don’t need a man’s love to say that you are enough. Jesus loves you and I hope you will truly understand that. For if you do, you will learn that it is more than enough in this life.

You are valuable. You are precious in His eyes. No matter how dirty and messy your past is, your value will never be removed from Him. God bought you with a high price. No amount of money can buy you for only the blood of the Maker of the universe can purchase you.

You are worth pursuing. You are priceless. There is a man destined for you. Never let any man easily access your heart. Don’t give your ticket of "yes" to someone who just says, “You are beautiful and I love you.” Let any man exert his effort. There is a man praying for you. Wait for Him and wait for him. Never settle for less.

You are beautiful. Sometimes, you don’t need to use filters just to make your face beautiful for others. There is someone who looks at you and only sees beauty, who appreciates your face as the beautiful first sunrise and the last ray of light of the sunset. There is a man who loves you even if you have no makeup and stuff for your very bare skin. Because for him your simplicity and character are enough.

You are worth treasuring. Never let any man cause any heartbreak on your part. You are worth treasuring, not toying. There is a man who will not play your emotions. A man who knows that love is not made to be wasted but to be appreciated. A man who knows the value and power of the words “I love you”, and will not take it for granted by saying it to any girl he meets.

Lastly, I pray that you will know your worth and I hope you will understand how loved you are by God for only Him can satisfy the longings of your heart. If you are thirsty for a relationship, He will give you His overflowing love so that you will be filled with His presence, making you realize that you don’t need any love from a man that might somehow give you pain and break you into pieces. Hide your heart in God’s presence so that a man needs to know Him first before he finds you.

Kobe Bryant, a legend in basketball game was died with her daughter Gianna and the others on a helicopter crash this morning on their way to a basketball camp. He is a 5-time NBA Champion. Fourth on the most scored points in NBA History. A four-time All-Star MVP and two time NBA Finals MVP. An icon and a hero to every basketball player in the world.

The whole world of basketball players were shocked because of this tragedy. They gave honor to his career and legacy that he left, including me. NBA teams started their game with a turn-over of 24 seconds shot clock or 8 seconds violation. I don’t know what he believes in but as Christian, we have something to learn about his life here on earth.

These are the five things I learned so far on his life and as a tribute I make an Acronym on his nickname, “Mamba”.

1. Make Your Life As Meaningful As You Can

Kobe Bryant gave his life on basketball. Instead of leaving this platform after his retirement he helps others. He knows that his life will touch people across the globe through his skills in this game. He is the executive producer of a tv show titled “Detail”. As Kobe said, “The show is designed to help the next generation of athletes learn the game from the greatest minds in their sports.”

I saw a photo on Facebook this morning of the basketball camp where Kobe will go. They were kneeling down and praying for him. They are the people that look up to him as someone whom they can follow.

As Christians, we are called to live a life full of meaning. We are called to be the salt and the light in the area of which God has allowed us where to be. He placed us in every corner of the world to make His light shine before others (Matt. 5:16). God didn’t create us without meaning. So as we know the Lord who gives our real meaning. Let us learned our purpose so that we can make our life as meaningful as we can. Live the life that we have as Christian for a cause and not for applause.

2. A Wise Man Train Others

After his retirement on NBA, he didn’t stop on maximizing his strength. He used this to train people, including NBA players. His age is not an excuse for him to stop teaching and advising aspiring players. As a follower of Christ, we are called to train the younger generation. “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women . . . to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind . . . that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech” (Titus 2:2-8).

Also, teach people by letting them to be successful in every way. “The important thing is that your teammates have to know you're pulling for them and you really want them to be successful” Kobe said, “The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do.”

3. Many Are Not Trying Because They Are Afraid To Fail

You are not human if you do not fail. Even the angels failed to give glory to God. In every plan that we will make there will be a tendency that we will experience failure in life. But remember that “it is only a detour and not a dead-end street” as Zig Ziglar said. You don’t need to be afraid to fail because every failure in life is a lesson. Kobe also said, “Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise. Despite fear, finish the job. Once you know what failure feels like, determination chases success."

Never be afraid to chase your dream. Don’t let the fear of failure be the reason for you not to try. God said, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isa. 41:10 NLT).

4. Be The Person God Called You To Be

In this world of social media, it is not a question anymore why insecurities and identity-crisis are rampant. The moment when you pass from the newsfeed of others and compare what they have to your life is the perfect timing of lies to enter into your mind and tell you are insignificant.

Like Kobe, he focused on his platform that encourages people to believe they can. He choose to be somebody on his strength and didn’t pretend to be someone else. He inspired Gordon Hayward and didn’t discourage him after its tragic injury. Instead of saying to look for another platform he advised to move forward and not to stop in his passion and come back as a better player.

Know your platform. You don’t need to be someone else’s shoes. You are unique. God gave you a different gift of skills, knowledge, and talent. Use them for His glory. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not because it will give you frustration, false burden, and tiredness. Focus on your God-given strength because this strength is your asset to compete in this world. Accept that God called people on different platforms. So be the person God called you to be. “God gave you a fingerprint that no one else has, so you can leave an imprint that no one else can.” (Unknown)

5. A Challenging Life Is The Most Beautiful One

NBA fans thought that the career of Kobe will end after his gruesome Achilles injury. But this injury gave him another opportunity to be disciplined and to work hard. He said, “As I sit here now, when I take off my shoe and I look down at my scar, I see beauty in it. I see all the hard work, all the sacrifices. I see the journey that it took to get back to this point of being healthy. And I see beauty in that struggle. That's what makes it beautiful.”

Our life will be full of challenges. Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble” (John 16:33). It’s is not a joke. It is a reality. That no matter you are Christian or not you will face uncertainties in life. You will walk in the tunnel full of darkness. But instead to have fear because of the dimness around you, enjoy the situation knowing that there will be a light at the endpoint which gives us hope that challenge may come but our life doesn't end there.

Thank you, Kobe! Your life is an inspiration.

Photo credit to the owner (Clutchpoints).

Being a good conversationalist, especially, in English, is not my strength. Indeed, I can write paragraphs in that format with a small amount of incorrect grammar but when it comes to speaking I can't even talk with a straight and perfect one.

When we the hanged out with my friends last night, I asked them to help me in my English proficiency. The very moment I speak to them in that language and made a wrong sentence some of them laugh in just a second, then, became serious to me. They realized (I believe) that I truly need help because one of them uttered, "No to generation shaming". So we discussed some topics and asked good questions with each other and yes, in English. I had a hard time to express my answer in some questions. The good thing when it’s my turn to speak is that they always tell me that they can't understand what am I saying whenever I speak in Tagalog. I truly appreciate them at that time. I came home with a grateful heart knowing that I have a circle of friends who are serious in helping me to achieve what I want to improve. With this kind of struggle, I didn't just found church mate but friends.

My question to you now is, "Do you have one?"

Do you have people in your circle who will not make any laugh in your struggles but join you to overcome it? Someone who will not taunt nor shame you whenever you made mistakes but giving you advice and encouraging you that you can?

While finding that someone. Be that one!

If You Are Good In Math, There is No Need to Be Good in English

Honestly, I am unashamed saying these things that I became serious in "English 101" when I was already on my graduating days in my college. Think about it! A twenty-year-old man and studying like a child with my subject-verb agreement (which is until now I can't even perfect). The principle that if you are good in Math, you don't need to be good in English. That principle was only broke when my mentor told me that that kind of mindset was wrong. How come that I am good at numbers and can't learn words? So I studied and exerted so much effort and tried and tried to write blogs and articles in English format—that not everyone had agreed upon. Many opposed my writing and discouraged me to write in pure English. Some of them told me, "Why do you pressure yourself if you can't?"

This is my encouragement to you.

Whenever you try to become better there will be a lot of opposition to your side. From back to front. Side to side. But do not worry. A man who keep on trying will achieve his goal, one day. You already lose the battle if you will not try. If you quit because of oppositions in your life you will never be the person you wanted to become.

Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine

Laughing is not a good way to help a person in his or her struggles. I'm speaking to all areas. We, especially as Christians, don't have any position to shame someone by laughing at to those who make mistakes or struggle in some areas of his or her life. God called us to help and not to laugh. He is encouraging us to be someone who can help to improve and grow. Who are we to think that we are matured enough to shame people by laughing and judging them whenever they make mistakes?

When Peter and the other disciples are struggling in believing Jesus even after all the miracles they saw with their own eyes, He didn't laugh. He rebuked them, talked to them face to face privately, and never corrected them in public. Jesus never put His disciples—His friends, His brothers—to shame. There are a series of verses when Jesus shamed and rebuked and confronted people in public. But when it comes to them, He is more tender and patient. “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over” (Matt. 15:18). There is a purpose. You need to win them back through their faith. Still, Christianity is a journey, not a competition. We are better together.

We Are Work In Progress

Why many people do not try to improve their weaknesses is because there's a lot of negativity and opposition throwing at them by friends. Many are struggling in winning their own battle because those people whom they put their trust to and thought that they will help them gave them criticizing and judgment. Instead, to give them a hand, they give a slap. And my hope and my prayer today to every Christian out there who called by the Lord out from the darkness and understood the patience of the Lord with their own struggle will be the light and the salt and be the leader and a real friend who really cares and help.

We are work in progress. Once again, Christian life is not a competition but a journey. Not because we are already in our senior years in the school of the Lord we already have the confidence to boast of what we know and shame those who are in juniors.

Be patient with your brother. Paul said, “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thess. 5:14). “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters” (Rom. 14:1).

Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix!

I am encouraged to write this article by a video of a kid who is struggling with his test on taekwondo. He needs to break the wood by his kick. He cried during his turn which is a sign that he had a hard time for him to do it. But the best thing about the video is those little kids, his classmates, around him. Instead of hearing laughs and taunts and judgements, he heard a shout of his name, “Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix!” They were encouraging him that he can do it. It hooked my attention at the point when they were so eager to see that their friend will break the piece of wood. Suddenly he cut into half the wood by the force of his foot and everyone went to him joyfully. Very proud of what he had done (See the link below).

And my prayer is that every one of us will be an encourager to someone who is struggling. The supportive friend who will not laugh but give loving words of wisdom. The helpful brother who will join them not just in the time of good but also in bad.

One of the reasons why many of us are impatient to be with someone else is because we think that singleness is not a blessing but a curse. We think that the long period of time of waiting is a punishment from God. As a matter of fact, it is not. Always remember that He is always for the joy of His children—you and me. If God’s desire for you is to have a spouse, He will give it to you at His exact time, and not in your timeline.

Singleness should not be seen as a problem to be solved. Once you understand that your season of being single is a blessing from God and not a curse, you will gain a new perspective on how to handle it. You will begin to see it as an open door to grow deeper in God, not a closed door to being loved. You will see it as an opportunity to live life to the fullest without hurt that cause by somebody, opportunity not to be anxious about someone (1 Cor. 7:32), opportunity not to fall for the wrong one. God loves His children so much that He will close any door of tragedy cause by relationship—unless you choose the wrong one.

God Is Preparing You

Maybe one of the good reasons why you are still single is: God is preparing you (actually the both of you) to be the man or woman He wanted you to be. So when the time comes that God sees both of you and already prepared, He will make a way. He will lead you for what He has prepared for you. He will let both of you to meet at the proper season. That’s how the perfect Author of a love story writes.

You don’t know the end, but He knows. You may read the first to four chapters of your life and understand that there is no one beside you, but who knows if God already penned it and hopefully, in chapter five or six, the man or woman reading it is with you already.

Not A Burden

Singleness will be a burden for a person who doesn’t know his or her purpose. Some of the reasons why we feel that this season is such a burden is because we tend to compare ourselves with others and we think that it is too late for us to be in a relationship or God has already forgotten our prayer to be with someone else.

If you just know what is your purpose in life, singleness will never be a burden but a blessing. You will never be desperate or frustrated to search or find the suitable partner of your life because knowing the purpose why He created you will give you joy to remain steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58).

When Was The Last Time?

Therefore, singleness is not the time to complain about why is it still so long to be with someone else. This is the perfect time to be thankful to God that throughout this single season of our lives, He is still there. He is still faithful even we are faithless. He never leaves us alone whenever we feel hopeless. He is still comforting, sustaining and strengthening us when we feel weak in this single life. So the questions now are:

In this season of singlehood, our hearts are easily hooked with what the world offers, attracting us into distractions— away from what God wants for us. Solomon, with all of his past experiences and wisdom, reminded us “not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4). He even elaborated that love is as strong as death if you cannot control it. It can kill you within because the heart is deceitful above all. He also knew that if we do not find satisfaction in God, we will look for love and acceptance in people, a recipe for trouble.

No one must capture our hearts before it got captured by God, the only One whose love can fill our deepest longings and desires. Solomon wrote it three times because our affection for God can be easily vanished when our emotion for someone dominated our love for Him. He knew that the battle in our hearts to keep our love for God greater than our love for someone else is an unending battle.

Beautiful People

It’s not unusual that we meet beautiful people daily because He created us fearfully and wonderfully. All creatures and things in the Universe is majestically and perfectly created by God. He designed people each with own uniqueness complete with feelings and emotions. So, getting attracted to someone is normal. It’s okay! It’s a beautiful thing. But if our feelings overtake our devotion and love for God, that would be dangerous. Instead of focusing our attention to the splendor of His being, we choose to focus on His creations. A lot of promising Christians fall into this trap and leave the church, only to end up in a bad relationship. Worst, some results to early pregnancy and later on abandoned by their boyfriends. It is not because God failed to give the love that they need but they exchanged their commitment to Him for their subject of affection.

God is Enough

Solomon’s reminder not to arouse or awaken our love does not suggest that we should suppress or set aside our emotions. No. It only means that our feelings, desires, and longings for someone should be surrendered at the feet of Christ. Not on our own. So if you have a desire for a relationship, let that love develop naturally and maturely in its own time.

In this season of waiting for the right time and the right person, let us be more secured in God’s love and be trained ourselves to be the right one for someone. If our security is not in Christ, we will end up seeking people’s approval that will lead to feeling unaccepted and abandoned when rejection comes.

Last Sunday, while at a fast food, my friends and I played a funny game called “who's the one.” In this game, you give a random number and the person who will enter the door of the store that corresponds to the chosen number will be the one who you will spend the rest of your life with (of course, it’s just a game and for guys, you only count the ladies and vice versa). My friend chose the 11th guy for herself while I chose the 4th girl and the other friend the 5th. We were all so excited and had a good laugh as customers of different ages and statuses entered the store, waiting for our “future” to come in.

Girl #1 came in, then the second. A long pause. Silence. Then my friend asked me to describe what kind of girl I was hoping to see. I said, “with curly hair and dimples.” As the third one entered, “last one,” I thought.

Guess what? While waiting and looking out the window, we saw a woman with curly hair approaching the store. In our amazement, we laughed and stared in awe on how the Lord catered my expectation. Before she entered the store, she took out her phone and called someone, the reason her pacing slowed down. A bomb of thought exploded in my head as she then entered. Why? She has a dimple. A girl with curly hair and a dimple, just as I described. But sadly, she entered as the 5th girl because there came another girl who took the spot as the 4th girl. Not the curly-haired girl with dimple but ANOTHER girl.

We were shocked. Who would have thought that God can speak to us while playing a silly game while waiting for the other singles to come?

He Does Not Always Say YES

Sometimes, we are too focused on what we want and forget to consider what the Lord wants for us. Nothing is wrong when we pray for something and stick to it— that’s faith and perseverance— but that does not mean that He will always grant our requests.

Remember that He is not a genie but a Father who knows what is best for us—His children. God is more concerned on our faith than to grant what we are praying for. As our Father, He provides and gives only what is best because undoubtedly, His plan in our life is to prosper us and not to harm us, that which gives us hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). Sometimes God will remove something you never dreamed of losing because He will replace it with something you never dreamed of having.

We Can Entrust Our Emotions To Him

God holds the pen of our love story. His hands are impeccable to miss something. His penmanship has the greatest stroke in writing. He never write a story that will end in destruction, regrets and sorrow. Unless, you choose the other way.

Jesus knows our emotions, our desires, and our deepest longings. If the Lord says NO to the woman or man that you want, can you still trust Him? Will you still obey God if He says NO to the one who does not even hit the mark of the non-negotiable qualities you are hoping for? Who sits on the throne of your heart? Who has the final word?

If we trust the Lord with our finances, relationships, and our future but not our emotions, it only means that we don't trust Him at all. God instructed His children not to be yoked with an unbeliever, so when a man pursues a woman who has not dedicated her life to the Lord—an unbeliever—and just purely out of affection, it only means that His lordship is compromised. It’s always up to you. But I want to encourage you to trust the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding and in all your ways—even your love life—acknowledge Him (Pro. 3:5-6).

I tell you, one day you will be thankful to God that He did not give you all that you prayed for. One day you will be mesmerized and in awe of His ways; how things work together for our good even though for us, it is an unanswered prayer. One day, you will understand what Jesus meant when He spoke to Peter, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand” (John 137). When that day come, your heart will only be full of appreciation and nothing but poured out praises and thanksgiving to God.

Death will come. Pain is real. It’s almost a week that my Dad passed away. During the days of wake, the reality that he was not alive didn’t sink in my mind. But the days after he got buried, the fog of pain and sorrow surrounded my being. I tried to go back to my old life with a question in my mind, “If God really cares why this thing happened?” I know that there is a purpose why He allowed such thing like this but this very moment it is very hard to grasp it. I thought going back to my old ways will help the situation to escape the tunnel of darkness I am on but in reality it worsen my emotions.

Sorrow Will Come

No one can run away from the fact that sorrow will come. When Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33) he knew that these trials in life are attached with sorrow. When unexpected situation happened in an instance it might bring pain deep in the hearts.

While we are living here on earth we will pass through the waters of uncertainties and through the river of difficulties. We will walk through the fire of hardship and pain. But always remember what the Lord said, “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (Isaiah 43:1-3).

From Mourning To Rejoicing

When sorrow comes . . . mourn, weep, lament, grieve, cry out. Express your feelings to God. Talk it over. He listens to His children and very near to those who are broken in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Cast all your cares upon Him because He cares (1 Pet. 5:7).

Fill the night with heart ache. Shout your pain. Enclosed the four corners of your room with sorrow. Wet the pillow by the tears on your eyes. And after you wake up embrace the pain but go back from what you have started for the promises of the Lord is the same. “I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow” (Jer. 31:13). David said, “you have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness” (Psalm 30:11).

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I am writing this blog with a mind that defines a strong woman as a person who has strong convictions and high standards and someone who can gracefully speak to men, face to face, to confront him of his wrongdoings. I’m not describing a strong woman as a woman who can shout at a man or punch him, nor am I describing her as barbaric-like with her size and muscles. But I am talking more about her personality and convictions and not appearance because her physical appearance has nothing to do with being a kind of woman.

One time, a close friend of mine asked our group if men find strong women intimidating. I forgot the exact words I said to her but using Pastor Edrei's thought about this will also speak for myself and answer that question. Nonverbatim, he said "a man who is intimidated by a strong woman is weak". Hard but true.

Not All Men Who Cannot Approach Strong Women Are Weak

Let me clarify, I'm not saying that if it is hard for a man to approach a strong woman he is weak already because I believe and know a lot of men who's characteristic is not approachable or introvert. But when it comes to pursuing if he is intimidated in approaching a woman because of that woman’s personality it is a sign of weakness and need to check his self why he is intimidated. I'm not here to judge anyone. My objective here is to encourage every man out there to be the man that God wants Him to be. If you sense that God is pushing you to pursue someone no matter what is that woman's personality, go! God will back you up. Just rely on His grace and strength.

When a man gives up or steps back when he is faced with a strong woman is a sign of weakness. It is a problem within. It is an issue to be solved; a faith issue. It is a struggle that needs to be overcome. It is serious. Very serious. Because it is not just about dealing with a woman's personality but also handling different situations in every area of a man's life. When we become afraid or intimidated and it causes us to stop and not fight back, when a challenging situation or problem comes our way, I tell you, we will bring this kind of attitude or character when it comes to our relationships.

She Still Has a Heart

Not all women who has a strong appearance has a strong heart. And not all men who has a strong personality don't know how to cry. Sometimes, we show ourselves that we are so strong but in reality, deep in our hearts is a broken soul and dark past. And because of our past, our failures and problems, it might be the reason why most men were molded to become strong in their actions. Just like women. Not because she acts like she's strong as a lion doesn’t mean no men can approach her. So never be intimidated by her personality because they also have a heart.

A strong woman is still a woman. She still loves to communicate. She has emotions and can be hurt. She can still fall in love with someone. Even though sometimes she doesn't agree with the opinion of others because of what she stands for, she is still open for corrections. Also, even if she looks like a person who likes to fight and argue about something, she is also a person who can bend her knees to the ground for her Lord. Although she is straightforward, she knows how to be silent and quiet. That is how a strong woman is.

Therefore, only those who are brave and strong enough to handle her roar can take her heart. Can you tame her? Not by being stronger than her but having the quality of Christ that can soften any heart.

Remember David?

It takes faith to tame a lion's personality. We must exert effort, time, and courage to get their heart. Remember David when he encountered a lion in the wilderness? What did he do? He "curled" its beard and overcame it (1 Samuel 17:35).

When he faces a lion or a bear, he is never intimidated by its appearance nor frightened by its roar. But by his strength which comes from the Lord he conquered it. And when it comes to a strong woman, we shouldn't fear because of her strong conviction, belief and personality but we should be more amazed and surprised that there is still a kind of woman who doesn't let her guard down and who fights for what she believes is right. It is also an encouragement and opportunity for us, men, to be more dependent into the Lord's mighty power.

Why Men Are Intimidated?

The reason why men are intimidated by strong women is only because of their lack of faith and security. A man said, "Ang taas kasi ng standard niya", "Parang iko-corrrect ka kaagad", "Grabe, conviction niya eh!" "Parang ang hirap niyang i-approach!" Are those true? Or are we just afraid and we lack faith to approach and talk to her?

And if we are a man enough, we shouldn't be intimidated but be more challenged that as a man we should still be the one who will lead her to Christ no matter how strong she is. If our security is in Christ we shall not be shaken by a woman's conviction or personality but no matter what happens, if God called us to pursue her we should stand up and try again, somehow. Yes, rejection is painful but in that process God will show Himself as a comforter and lover so that we can realize that He is everything we need and a woman is a bonus in this life.

If you will ask me what will I choose? I would rather choose a woman who has a strong personality with her strong conviction and never gives up when hardship comes into her life than to a quiet, gentle and sweet woman who will give up and leave what she believes in when the time of suffering comes.

A Man Who Has God Shall Fear No One

No strong woman who is truly and deeply in love with the Lord will not submit herself to the man she will marry. It will be hard for her to trust or submit her life to a weak man. If a strong woman can't see how strong we are in terms of our manhood, conviction and plans and goals, it is a slap in our face as a man. We should not point out the issue to them but to us, men. Strong women can be intimidating if and only if we are not strong enough with our faith. A real strong man will never be intimidated by the presence of a strong woman but he will be challenged, inspired and motivated.

I attended a youth service way back when I was a fresh graduate in college. A friend suddenly sat beside me and asked me to join the singles community. And as a matter of fact, she honestly admitted (through commenting on my blog), that she was dismayed when I expressed my hesitance to be part of the community through the answer “Let’s see!” According to her, she sees me as someone who can make an impact to other singles and even to the graduating students who are in the same season as I am. And as I said, I totally disappointed her because I was not ready at that time.

Dilemma after Graduation

The question that confused me back then was, "what singleness really means?" Because if I just knew the answer when she asked me to join, perhaps I will say yes. Honestly, I had a mind-set before that singleness was about dating. Finding someone and searching for “the one” with a certain criteria is what singleness means to me. Yes, I have an idea about being single but I was more excited to enter that season with a heart of finding and searching for “the one.”

Is that what singleness really means? And if it is, is it the reason why many newly graduates like me finds it hard to enter the next season? Now the question for us, singles, is the same. What does singleness really means to you? A simple question that can give us a lot of ideas because our answer would probably give us the exact answer why it is hard for us to embrace our season as single--young professionals.

Embrace Your Season

When I talked to one of my female batch mates, I was shocked with what she shared to me. She was still embracing her youth and still enjoying it which is also the reason why she doesn’t want to join the singles community. Up until now, she still cannot jump into the season of singleness and still has a longing for her days of youth. There is nothing wrong here. Her passion for the youth is there and still admirable. We separated after the simple conversation with a doubt in my heart when she said that she doesn’t feel that she is now a young professional even when she is working. I left the place with a question in my mind which is: “what’s wrong with being single?”

So what is really wrong in this season? Why do many of us don’t enjoy the season of being single? Why many of us are so focused on our jobs and set aside the season which in fact is an opportunity to know God more and enjoy Him fully? Is singleness all about earning money? Is singleness all about being free from stress or just to study or make every time remarkable by traveling? Is that what singleness really means?

Also, a man, a close friend of mine, had a hard time to join the community of singles. When I asked him why, he admittedly said that it was because of the teasing time and partnering that the singles are doing. He also added that the singles he knows at the time still lack self-improvements so that it was hard for him to choose whose footstep to follow. I don't know his heart that time. I never judge him by his answers. There is one thing I know, there is no human who can perfectly model how to become a good single. There is only one who can do that and that is Jesus Christ. All of us are sinful beings. We sin every day and no single here is perfect, only forgiven. We grow and mature. We invest time to become the man that God wants us to be as a single.

What is the Difference?

After school, the next world you will face is truly different from the surrounding you used to live in. You will encounter different personalities of people, you will face stressful situations, you will budget your salary, you will have a boss that you will be obliged to report to, you will work four or five or six days in a week, and perhaps you will find yourself that you need a rest.

I know a lot of Christians, students, who were passionate in their youth but after college, you will rarely see them in church. Some of them are enjoying so much in traveling in different destinations and in conquering mountains but if you will ask for their time to have a small group you will just receive a response that they are busy. This is reality. And you need to decide. It is not about the age. It is about the situation and season you will live before the marrying stage. This season, as young professionals, is a season of decision -- full of decisions and plans. And you need someone who will help you to survive in this season. You will also need your family and friends who will encourage you to work hard but with a joyful heart and a challenge to believe that God has more for your life.

Face the fact that seasons are changing. Don’t stay on the season that God doesn't want you to be in and don't pursue another season if God wants you to stay where you are. Many fall and give in into temptation. Many pain and sorrow and regret wasted because of this season.

My hope and prayer is that you will find a community who will support you and help you and even challenge you and encourage you in this season; this is the reason why you need mentors to guide you in your walk in Christ while working.

My discipleship journey during college days was extraordinary. My leader that time, Elijah, was also a junior in college. One thing I am thankful to him until now is that he always encouraged me to join his small group with his single mentors. Most of those men who discipled me at that time are now married and two of them are full time in the ministry. I admired how they live their life when they were still in their single season. I know some of their messes, their ups and downs, and even the wrong decisions they had made. But the most exciting part in my journey with them was that they taught me how to live as a man of God. I loved their passion in studying the word than enjoying the world they are living. I followed their footsteps in being a man of faith and integrity. Their testimonies about how good and faithful and kind their God made me more excited to know who the God I am serving is. How they demonstrated their character towards others is worth following. How they did their discipleship activities and learning from their love for theology were like a mountain top feeling because you will understand how this God of this universe loves you so much. I admire their ways.

Where Are the Singles?

Now, where are the singles that can make an impact to other singles in terms of faith, purpose, and character? Where are the singles who will speak to the younger generation to believe more and ask God boldly? Where are the singles who will model to other believers who Jesus Christ is in their life? Where are the singles who will tell the world how faithful and how majestic their God through their actions, social media post and how they maximize their time for God?

Where are the singles that will remain in the battle and still fight until the end of the race of Christian life--even it is hard? Where are the singles that spend time studying and enjoying the scripture rather than spending half of the day on money and entertainment of the world. Where are the singles who invest their lives for the young ones--like Paul to Timothy--because they know that giving their time to the young generation will save the world?

Where are the singles that are so much in love with Jesus Christ that they look at the world as a battleground for others’ soul and not primarily for living? Where are the singles who are so intimate with God that mountains, beaches and other mesmerizing views are just a glimpse of heaven that God allowed us to see and not primarily to be so much in love with these?

Are We This One?

If you think you are not this single that I am talking to, you don't need to self-pity. Stand up and train and challenge yourself to be the one. Let's be the one who will show the younger ones how to follow Christ. It will be a tragedy if the younger generation will not be able to find a person to follow.

There is a story in the Bible in which a generation doesn’t know the LORD. It was devastating. It happened after Joshua’s time. He is a great warrior in the battlefield. A fully surrendered man and obedient servant to Moses. But he lacks vision. He never thinks of what will happen next if he dies. “After that generation died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the LORD or remember the mighty things he had done for Israel (Judge 2:10).” Don’t let this happened into your life as single. You are called to lead and to disciple. You are called to make an impact to the younger generation and to the same age you belong with.

Do You Have Mentors?

Do you have mentors and people around you who will be an examples to the flock of believers like you (1 Peter 5:3)? As you read these lines, oh how I pray that you will find men or women who will help you grow in your walk with Christ. Who walk their talk and not just in a mere talk but in doing even no one is looking.

Don’t waste your singleness for work or for curricular activities or for traveling and mountaineering. There is more than that. You have purpose in life which is better than enjoying your life for this world. Your heart knows it for it is created for that. It longs for that. Your ultimate purpose is to glorify Him in all things by marveling and savoring His being into your life.

Single for His Glory

It is easy to waste the season of singleness than to maximize it and make it fruitful. How many single professionals live their singleness season in vain? How many live alone and set aside the beauty of family of singlehood? How many of us work so hard just to consume the whole day and the day after?

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). You are called out from darkness into light to share His love and mercy to all people. You are not your own. God bought you with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20). You are called for His glory and Him alone. You are called to know every detail of Him more than the destination you will go. You are called to conquer every battle in life than conquer mountains. You are called to walk in waters not to dive into it. You are called to serve the Lord in everything through work and not just for the sake of work.