Infiniti Matti

Description:

This is my buddy Kyle who is my friend from college.

Picture 1: Kyle

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Containment Procedures:

You can't contain him, he is always out there doing wild shit.

Picture 2: Photo Kyle Posted of Him Balancing a Banana on His Head at Last Week's BBQ Which Made Us All Laugh I Was There

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Incident Report 1:

Kyle Anomalously remembered my birthday and said happy birthday to me and gifted me a game on steam that I never heard of but ended up really really liking.

Picture 3: The Game Kyle Gifted Me on Steam. It Is Like Mario With Roguelike Elements.

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Incident Report 2:

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.

It doesn’t matter what it’s for.

You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?

For college?

To put a downpayment on a house?

Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?

Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.

And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.

So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.

“What if I spend the money that day?”

Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.

before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.

Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.

And here’s the funnest part of the story!

One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.

The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.

He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.

Begging everyone to please please please watch this Last Week Tonight episode about Disability Benefits and to get the full scoop on how fucked people like me are.

Things I learned from this video:

-the reason my total asset cap is $2,000 is because congress is a bunch of fuckasses who haven’t raised the limit in DECADES to go with inflation.

-It should be, if it was accurate to today’s currency value and inflation, $10,000

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With an update since getting it back: