love loses. I win 💥💥💥

this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.

Asking cuz sometimes I think about stop using the ace label, and only use the aro label, but I also don't want to use a label that I mustn't use and invade a community that I can't be part of

it's explicitly not part of the aroallo, aroace, or aromid system. it's opting out. the whole point is that it's for anyone who doesn't want to be labeled in that way, and just wants to use the aro label. i want to address this, and also say that it's clear you didn't mean harm by it, but calling non-sam aro folks allosexual is explicitly denying them their identity.

to quote from AUREA:

Non-SAM aro

Describes an aromantic person who does not use the Split Attraction Model (SAM) to characterize their orientation. Non-SAM aros do not identify with an allosexual or asexual spectrum orientation, regardless of whether or not they experience sexual attraction.

--

I do think, historically, the folks most attracted to this label have tended to neither feel represented in aroace nor alloaro communities, but historically were much, much more accepted by and talked about in alloaro spaces. to be perfectly frank, when non-sam aro started to be a more known identity, the aroace community was... honestly somewhat hostile to any aro folks who were not "fully" aroace.

it was a problem, and one that a number of folks were struggling to address, as both aro and ace communities were recovering from total devastation, and no one wanted to cause in fighting. this isn't to say everyone picked sides or that everyone was knowingly being an asshole, but that a lot of popular aroace posts regularly equated being ace to being aro, being aro to being ace, and several (not all) popular aroace blogs responded very poorly to being asked if they could phrase things differently.

to the best of my memory, this was perhaps... 6 months or so before folks started to talk more about non-sam aro as a Thing. and... when that first started, this blog received countless asks saying "isn't non sam aro just aroace?" because people could not fundamentally imagine aromanticism as a complete, singular label. so...

you can absolutely identify as non-sam aro. the entire point is that you do what fits you best. but I hope I've provided some history that might help share why the non-sam aro community is the way it currently is, maybe 7 years after it truly took off.

I feel you

When They're Loveless

"At the end of the day, all you need is love." "No thank you."

They don't really know what to say when their friend says they love them. They don't want to hurt their feelings and not say it back but they also don't feel right saying it at all

For once, their neighbor isn't spouting nonsense and purposely singing at the top of their lungs that "everybody loves somebody"

They joke with another loveless person about love not being real and find that there is indeed an allo among them

They were surprised when they said "I appreciate you" instead of saying "I love you" like everyone else does

It feels like a huge relief to meet another loveless person. Finally, someone who actually understands. Not just someone who pretends to and then finds that one thing to say "but everyone loves this!"

"Gotta love your irritating spouse, ya know?" "No. Not at all."

"You know what they say. Love yourself before you love anyone else." "I don't know about all the love and loving but I do know I'm a pretty cool person. Then there's everyone else."

"You know, you telling me about lovelessness really changed my perspective on things. I'm glad you explained it to me." "Of course. That's why being loveless is the best thing you could possibly be."