jeff buckley didn't die for this

cities breaking down on a camels back

better to be a steamed dumpling than a deamed stumpling 🧙

Where’s the Hunter S Thompson we’re at war now quote Bring me the Hunter S Thompson we’re at war now quote

i cannot kill myself because there is music

kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man

Got his ass together in three words

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

So horny I need to be molded like clay into a perfectly ornate vase but intentionally given an air pocket so I explode in the kiln

So horny I need to be repotted in a pot that's just slightly too small for my weak and feeble roots and left in the window for the world to see

So horny I need to be locked up in the keef catcher and made to use my small and gentle lego hands to scoop keef onto the bowls of anyone who wants it

So horny I need to be spun into thread and made into a colorful and stunning blanket and used for a picnic on a muddy day

So horny I need to be cut up with child-safe zig zag pattern scissors and hung up as holiday decorations

So horny I need to be liquefied with an immersion blender and strained for my nutrients and used as a hydrating face mask peel after a hot shower

So horny I need different parts of my body dried, ground up, and mixed with oils and used to paint a modern rendition of the Martyrdom of Saint Sebastian (1525)

So horny I need to be kept on a treadmill contraption which harvests my sweat to be used to fuel zippo lighters

the paper is warm because the printer just layed them

sisyphus... you made boulder choices on the runway this week, but we just need you to push a little more. i'm sorry my dear but you are up for elimination

The hypnotic powers of the Caesar salad

surely this can not be how they want us to spend our 1 singular fleeting life. surely not