pool boy at the vampire mansion

Catholicism? You mean like from My Chemical Romance? You know thats not real right

The vampires are though

The vampires are absolutely real

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

she's turned into the fully clothed pretty women throwing up she always wanted to see when she was younger awwww dreams do come true

fingering your box in a skirt tonight queen ???

wasn’t in a skirt but instead in a heat induced delirium. Delirium that makes you finger fuck your box like crazy

i think its funnier if they dont know about the xboyherox posts going around recently because it means they just started asking the crowd if they can vomit on command without realizing that we all have it fresh in our mind that it is specifically a sexual kink for them

mama why did you wear long sleeves on purpose it’s almost like you like to suffer. wait.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

this is a fucking futurama bit

jobs for people who aren't a real person?

poor gerard i worry about them in the heat!!! (sees them acting delirious in the heat and simultaneously doing the most blatant O faces on the planet while sweating and swaying) put gerard in a furnace