pool boy at the vampire mansion

Catholicism? You mean like from My Chemical Romance? You know thats not real right

The vampires are though

The vampires are absolutely real

The pyromancer always wins

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

the internet is a place for reading wikipedia articles and watching every movie for free. social media is an invasive species. never forget this

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

All my haters become lactaters when they suckle at the teat of success

All my haters become fellators when presented with the cock of victory

All my followers become judgemental when confronting my posts of internet

someone dropped a bitcoin on my head from on top of the empire state building in an act of guerrilla trepanation but since there weren’t any evil spirits in my skull the hole just sprouted a flower and now everybody says i look like a damn pikmin smh