It’s The Great Old Ones, Doctor Bashir

actually can they do something mildly canceling i still need that devil’s night ticket

me to whatever teen snagged a pit ticket: hahaha wowww did u see that dd remaster they’re suchh sellouts no you’re right they’re totally selling a car on tv dude…

My relationship to gender and presentation and obligation is so complicated that I find it very hard to explain

Most IRL people in my life see me as a cis woman and I have no real problem with that. My actual experience of gender is not only hard to explain but a part of myself I’m actually quite happy to keep within myself when the alternative is trying to articulate it to people who absolutely are not going to get what I’m trying to say. I wear women’s clothes but I am generally not trying to look like a woman. I am one set of licenses away from being a professional cosmetologist, and yet my relationship to all of it is inverted completely as I refuse so wholly to participate in the cosmetological obligations of womanhood. I wear makeup on the weekends only and only artistically, I rarely shave my legs, my nails remain permanently unpainted unless they are plastic and stuck on with glue tabs and then promptly removed when I get home. I own 10x the makeup, maybe more, that the average woman does and yet the idea of getting up an hour early in the morning to put it on sounds like a practical joke. Work does not get my blue eyeshadow, I need sleep. And of course, of course, none of these things make a woman! A woman is just as much a woman if she does none of those things. But simultaneously it creates a funny experience of distance in certain conversations with many, many cis women when they express some feeling of obligation to appearance that feels completely alien to me. I watch my mother put on a full face of makeup to go pick her car up from the mechanic and I wonder what dimension she slipped in from. “Don’t you hate that women have to get up and hour earlier to do their hair and makeup” someone says to me and I think Yes, that is a very salient feminist point, but also, y’all are doing that? And again of course the makeup does NOT make the woman and yet it is reductive I think to pretend there is not at least an element of how these things affect one’s own personal experience of gender. Not feeling any obligation to the Preening one attaches to Cis Womanhood does not make anyone any less of a woman and yet if you are the one not feeling the obligation it certainly makes one feel like less of a woman and this is certainly fine by me as I have no desire to feel like a woman but also this same emotion is one very often felt by cis autistic women and sometimes I really, really cannot tell where my nonbinary gender ends and my autism begins and where my just generally sort of being a rat creature of sorts bends around them both and I’m not sure I want to it just all becomes the soup that is me

and this is why I come back over and over again to drag and related concepts when trying to explain my own feelings about my gender and presentation. the visual trappings of womanhood are something I put on for dramatic and aesthetic affect in a purely voluntary fashion, temporarily, and then remove again to reset to something more closely resembling truth

My relationship to gender and presentation and obligation is so complicated that I find it very hard to explain

Most IRL people in my life see me as a cis woman and I have no real problem with that. My actual experience of gender is not only hard to explain but a part of myself I’m actually quite happy to keep within myself when the alternative is trying to articulate it to people who absolutely are not going to get what I’m trying to say. I wear women’s clothes but I am generally not trying to look like a woman. I am one set of licenses away from being a professional cosmetologist, and yet my relationship to all of it is inverted completely as I refuse so wholly to participate in the cosmetological obligations of womanhood. I wear makeup on the weekends only and only artistically, I rarely shave my legs, my nails remain permanently unpainted unless they are plastic and stuck on with glue tabs and then promptly removed when I get home. I own 10x the makeup, maybe more, that the average woman does and yet the idea of getting up an hour early in the morning to put it on sounds like a practical joke. Work does not get my blue eyeshadow, I need sleep. And of course, of course, none of these things make a woman! A woman is just as much a woman if she does none of those things. But simultaneously it creates a funny experience of distance in certain conversations with many, many cis women when they express some feeling of obligation to appearance that feels completely alien to me. I watch my mother put on a full face of makeup to go pick her car up from the mechanic and I wonder what dimension she slipped in from. “Don’t you hate that women have to get up and hour earlier to do their hair and makeup” someone says to me and I think Yes, that is a very salient feminist point, but also, y’all are doing that? And again of course the makeup does NOT make the woman and yet it is reductive I think to pretend there is not at least an element of how these things affect one’s own personal experience of gender. Not feeling any obligation to the Preening one attaches to Cis Womanhood does not make anyone any less of a woman and yet if you are the one not feeling the obligation it certainly makes one feel like less of a woman and this is certainly fine by me as I have no desire to feel like a woman but also this same emotion is one very often felt by cis autistic women and sometimes I really, really cannot tell where my nonbinary gender ends and my autism begins and where my just generally sort of being a rat creature of sorts bends around them both and I’m not sure I want to it just all becomes the soup that is me

and this is why I come back over and over again to drag and related concepts when trying to explain my own feelings about my gender and presentation. the visual trappings of womanhood are something I put on for dramatic and aesthetic affect in a purely voluntary fashion, temporarily, and then remove again to reset to something more closely resembling truth

My relationship to gender and presentation and obligation is so complicated that I find it very hard to explain

Most IRL people in my life see me as a cis woman and I have no real problem with that. My actual experience of gender is not only hard to explain but a part of myself I’m actually quite happy to keep within myself when the alternative is trying to articulate it to people who absolutely are not going to get what I’m trying to say. I wear women’s clothes but I am generally not trying to look like a woman. I am one set of licenses away from being a professional cosmetologist, and yet my relationship to all of it is inverted completely as I refuse so wholly to participate in the cosmetological obligations of womanhood. I wear makeup on the weekends only and only artistically, I rarely shave my legs, my nails remain permanently unpainted unless they are plastic and stuck on with glue tabs and then promptly removed when I get home. I own 10x the makeup, maybe more, that the average woman does and yet the idea of getting up an hour early in the morning to put it on sounds like a practical joke. Work does not get my blue eyeshadow, I need sleep. And of course, of course, none of these things make a woman! A woman is just as much a woman if she does none of those things. But simultaneously it creates a funny experience of distance in certain conversations with many, many cis women when they express some feeling of obligation to appearance that feels completely alien to me. I watch my mother put on a full face of makeup to go pick her car up from the mechanic and I wonder what dimension she slipped in from. “Don’t you hate that women have to get up and hour earlier to do their hair and makeup” someone says to me and I think Yes, that is a very salient feminist point, but also, y’all are doing that? And again of course the makeup does NOT make the woman and yet it is reductive I think to pretend there is not at least an element of how these things affect one’s own personal experience of gender. Not feeling any obligation to the Preening one attaches to Cis Womanhood does not make anyone any less of a woman and yet if you are the one not feeling the obligation it certainly makes one feel like less of a woman and this is certainly fine by me as I have no desire to feel like a woman but also this same emotion is one very often felt by cis autistic women and sometimes I really, really cannot tell where my nonbinary gender ends and my autism begins and where my just generally sort of being a rat creature of sorts bends around them both and I’m not sure I want to it just all becomes the soup that is me

I am the worst at painting nails advanced nail artist that has EVER LIVED

I can create unbelievable advanced works of art on fake nails. My actual nails, however

I am the worst at painting nails advanced nail artist that has EVER LIVED

I can create unbelievable advanced works of art on fake nails. My actual nails, however

Buying a Mazda was one of the best decisions of my life. Rolling around town in my hotbitchmobile with my poorly maintained dye job and bad prog rock pouring from the open sunroof

The hottest bitch you know has 4” of extremely contrasting root, drives a minivan and listens to Transatlantic