Retracts My Posting Tendril Into My Body Swiftly

True body / Real self.

“I’m... no impurity. At least, I don’t think I am. I’m somethin’ else entirely.” (Chapter 20)

“For you, it’s like... yer outside the cycle of rebirth. Yer more incomprehensible, y’know?” (Chapter 20)

“You’re a being that came to be regarded as ‘Nounuki-sama’ at some point. An abnormal entity. In the same way that you took on Hikaru Indou’s identity, you took the place of a god that shouldn’t exist.” (Chapter 27)

“Something from the other side. A reality-warping, immortal and unknowable thing that exists beyond human logic.” (Chapter 27)

To recapitulate, ‘Hikaru’ exists outside of the cycle of rebirth or samsara, in a state neither alive nor dead, presumably because he possesses no soul (Chapter 32). He’s an immortal entity that’s existed since perhaps forever: the “couple of centuries old” reference is, ultimately, an approximation based on the period during which he was discovered by the Indou ancestor in Nisayama.

I won’t delve in this for long, since other people have spoken about it already besides me, but it’s safe to say by now that ‘Hikaru’s real form is the above circular shape that’s been seen a couple of times. And that form is evoked by the bhavachakra or Wheel of Life, which is a visual representation of the cycle of rebirth.

“You could say that. Y’see, the world of the dead overlaps with ours, so they’re right beside us. An’ every now an’ then, people an’ things from the other side end up over here due to little distortions. The spirits of the dead and people’s lingerin’ emotions pool and mix together in that other world before bein’ reborn back in this world. It’s what we call the never-ending cycle of life and death.” (Chapter 15)

This isn’t the only time the presence of Buddhism is felt in TSHD. I have posted about Buddhism in it before. It is much like the concept of kegare is borrowed from Shinto.

This scene right here? This is ‘Hikaru’ recalling his ancient past, long before he assumed the identity of Hikaru, and long before he fell into this side and took the place of Nounuki, and those thoughts getting mixed with the present.

Yen Press translated 廻転 as “turning”, but I wonder if perhaps something like “rotating” would convey it better. Either way, this is ‘Hikaru’ remembering his constant spinning when he reincarnated souls. Within the manga, he functions analogously to Yama, the Lord of Death and Monster of Impermanence that’s holding and turning the Wheel of Life, a creature that looks frightening but that the concept of ‘evil’ does not actually apply to.

Lightning rod / “Come here”.

“That thing tried to stick to ya, so I smashed it up and put it inside me. Ahh, I guess I sucked it up? Or slurped it up? Somethin’ like that...” (Chapter 3)

‘Hikaru’ does not specifically attract impurities, like Rie says (Chapter 20). Rather, he draws in souls. Souls that cross into the other side are subsequently attracted by the Otoshigo that dwell there. Since impurities were once souls (Chapter 29), they too are affected. ‘Hikaru’s necessity to lure souls toward himself is simply an expression of his fundamental duty (or primal or basic instinct, however you might want to call it). This is also why ‘Hikaru’ can call out to them, as seen during Chapter 3, when he diverts the attention of the impurity latching onto Yoshiki to himself. It’s also why he tries calling out to Yoshiki with a very intelligible “Come here” in Chapter 24.

Fascination and prioritization of souls / Doesn’t understand life and death.

“Life”. Bein’ dead, bein’ alive... Is there really that big a difference? Is bein’ alive really more important? I ain’t got no “life”, though... The way I see it, there ain’t much difference between bein’ dead or alive. Death ain’t that scary. It’s just changin’ forms, y’know?” (Chapter 15)

“What is life? Dyin’ doesn’t mean ya disappear from this world. All that happens is the shape of yer soul changes. It’s not like it’s goin’ anywhere. Yer born and ya die, but yer soul don’t really go away. It’s always by yer side.” (Chapter 16)

“Actually, souls are even more important than the rest. Say the body is like a boat that carries your soul around. Then the difference between bein’ dead or alive is whether or not yer in the boat, get it?” (Chapter 29)

The conflict presented following the incident with Asako appears at resemble the classic trope of a monster not understanding humanity... at first glance. Why does this specific monster fail to comprehend this nuance despite having lived among humans for six months, using the memories of a teenager greatly shaped by grief, from his father’s death up to his very last moments?

According to Buddhism, death is not the end and is not something to be scared of. ‘Hikaru’ doesn’t understand that death is a sad thing, and sees the “soul” as what matters rather than the physical “vessel”, because that’s in his programming so to speak. His existence revolved around continually circling souls and placing them into new vessels (or “boats”). It’s not all that surprising that he does not see anything wrong in killing someone who is threatening to expose him, like he did with Matsuura. That soul will eventually be transferred into another new vessel. In his eyes, it isn’t like he’s harming that soul, so he isn’t destroying what’s actually important. It all aligns with his intrinsic (former) role in the other side.

Likewise, the reason why ‘Hikaru’ likes souls, and his extensive knowledge of them despite his amnesia, is because of how tied they are to his former “job” (or again “instinct”: I don’t really mind how it’s called and the word given to it isn’t really the point).

Instinct of “taking things inside yourself”.

“Maybe yer instinctively interferin’ with Tsujinaka-kun like some weakened animal goin’ berserk.” “All ‘cos I’m weak now? Well... Either way, eventually, I’m gonna lose to that “instinct” and take Yoshiki’s soul...” “I reckon that’s yer… nature.” (Chapter 25)

It’s not sexual, according to the bonus comics. It is decidedly not like eating either, according to ‘Hikaru’ (Chapter 29). This makes sense as to why: “I exist because my purpose is to circle souls, I take them inside me and clean them before I put them back in new forms” does not have a direct equivalent to any human instinct or desire. Doing that feels good according to ‘Hikaru’, but that’s all. ‘Hikaru’ does not need to eat souls to exist. He’s not an animal. He’s not even alive.

When ‘Hikaru’ is disoriented or upset, he reverts to his primal instinct to seize souls and put them inside himself, since that is something that makes him feel better… and that obviously means death for a human. Instability and confusion are the primary drivers behind all of his attempted attacks on Yoshiki: the first time at school (Chapter 7), the one during nighttime at the Tsujinaka’s house following splitting himself and experiencing pain (Chapter 20), at the hospital after Tanaka cuts his head and real form (Chapter 22), and later at the school again (Chapter 24). The fact that ‘Hikaru’ always describes Yoshiki’s soul as particularly pretty (Chapter 15) when all souls shine differently (Chapter 29) probably plays a part, in addition to the attachment cultivated over six months of affection.

It’s likely that ‘Hikaru’s insides can function as a sort of door between realms, therefore enabling him to reintegrate reincarnated souls into the human world. This would explain his words about his insides constantly feeling cold and empty. Since he has trouble recollecting his memories from before becoming ‘Hikaru’, he doesn’t know where what he puts inside himself actually goes (Chapter 29). My guess is that, now that he’s in the human world, those impurities just get thrown back into the other side.

Lost purpose / ‘Lost Children’

“I ‘member wanderin’ through the mountains for some time... Was like that for a good long while, just not feelin’ anything. I was pretty much like a machine on autopilot all that time.” (Chapter 2)

“’Lonely’… So is this what ya call bein’ lonely? Have I always been lonely, then?” (Chapter 7)

“I don’t really know what I am. Before I became like this, I don’t even think I had emotions. I just had this vague sense that I didn’t belong nowhere. It was like I’d lost my purpose.” (Chapter 16)

“At first, I thought I’d just kill ya if ya found me out. But for some reason, I didn’t wanna do that. And in the end, you accepted me, didn’cha? That was the first time I felt like I was needed. And I thought it might be all right to stay here. That’s what I’d been missing all along. For whatever reason, you became the place where I belong. And for me, that’s incredibly important.” (Chapter 16)

“For the longest time, I felt like I’d lost my purpose, and that’s why I like bein’ needed. Might be why I tried grantin’ the real Hikaru’s wish too.” (Chapter 33)

‘Hikaru’s sense of aimlessness while he remained on the mountain can easily be chalked up to him losing his raison d'être of circling souls after he accidentally fell into the human side. Nisayama is not his birthplace, and gobbling up impurities was close to but never his original purpose, rather something that he resorted to do to calm himself by fulfilling this innate compulsion.

In this same vein, ‘Hikaru’s ability to warp reality and physics at will to grant anyone’s wish derives from his authority over rebirth and dominion across realms. Likewise, in a symbolic sense, I do not think that it’s a mere coincidence that his wishes have been related to death (Hichi-san, Original Hikaru), although he can technically grant anything with... various questionable degrees of success.

落とし子 (Otoshigo) can be rendered into English as offspring or spawns. Yen Press opted to call them Illegitimates, which I normally use for easiness of communication, but personally I preferred the fan-translation of Lost [Fallen/Dropped/Descended] Children. It’s a name given by the Company, and I think a fitting one for a creature they only discovered (and captured) after it fell into this world.

“Lacked a personality”, “lacked feelings”, “lacked a will”. A non-living being simply in charge of reincarnation doesn’t need those things. Of course, it would be cruel to simply tell him “Go back to where you came from” like Maki said in Chapter 22, now that he does have all those things. But I’d dare say that ‘Hikaru’s fascination with life is also tied, even if symbolically, to having been an immortal who could never experience it before. He was in charge of moving souls through the reincarnation process, but he never got to touch life himself. This is the first time he can actually know what being alive really is like, so it is not a surprise that he enjoys it so much, including doing things he has no innate need to do.

That one very suspicious comic.

Few days before serialization started, MMR posted this comic with no further explanation than the caption メモ: a note, something to remember. And I find the trailing “Even after I die?” pretty damning, for all the reasons above.