Fuckin' it up in Canada

i have witnessed unspeakable horrors . the horrors weren't undescribable or anything, i just had to sign an NDA

*pacing around in circles like a dog* it’s fine it’s fine it’s sssoooooo fine i’m normal

Hold onto your butts everyone I’m gonna wash my fuckin dishes

The thing about washing dishes is that you always think it’s gonna take sooooooooo much time and be so annoying. But then you find something to listen to, you get settled, you get started, and you realize that you were correct holy shit the cheese is glued on

Sound on I beg you

Audio: A cartoonish "bonk" as the cat hits the tank followed by a person's muffled laughter

"kill them with kindness" wrong, chain lightning.

is that a cd in your pocket or is your penis just hard and circle. with hole

i love walking around my house at night wearing a too small tshirt and underwear it makes me feel like the slutty girl who dies first in a horror movie

grieving as an adult is so funny it's like. im sobbing my eyes out i'm laughing like a maniac im pondering the mortality of everything around me. ok glad thats out of my system because i have a dentist appointment in an hour

Oh fuuuuck. Oh fuck dude. I just got bit by a fucking clam and tonight's the full moon

“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive

to increase steel production 300%

☝️

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

i think as adults it's our responsibility to be nice to kids and treat them with the respect we wish we got at that age and im not kidding or exaggerating in the least