Hot Rod: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.
Tarn: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.
Hot Rod: Lmao, @Soundwave.
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Hot Rod: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.
Tarn: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.
Hot Rod: Lmao, @Soundwave.

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Starscream: When I die, my gravestone won't say RIP, it'll say VIP.
Ramjet: Cuz there's a special place saved for you in Hell.
Starscream: Yeah, the throne.
Sideswipe: If Sunny and I were drowning, who would you save?
Ratchet: My energy.
Starscream: (at the slightest provocation) I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.
Drift: Just bring Percy here.
Blurr: Well, he's locked himself in the bathroom.
Drift: Just tell him I said something.
Blurr: Said what?
Drift: Anything factually incorrect!
[Two minutes later]
Perceptor: I'm sorry, the sky is blue because it's reflecting the colour of the ocean?!?

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Skywarp: (Wakes up at a party) How did I get here?
Thundercracker: You blacked out from laughing too hard at your own joke and we decided to carry you to the party anyways.
Prowl: Alright, what are your names?
Skids: Don't tell him your name, Swerve.
Prowl: (writing stuff down) Swerve.
Swerve: Way to go, Skids!
Prowl: ...
Both: fuck.
Ultra Magnus: Everyone be quiet, Ratchet's calling me.
Ultra Magnus: (answers the phone) Hey.
Drift: Come back to bed!
Skids: Swerve, where did you hide the vodka?
First Aid: (screams)
Chromedome: Magnus! Put your pants back on!
Rodimus: Ay yo, pass the weed!
Ratchet: (over the phone) WHAT THE FRAG ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?!?!?
Anode: You're not talking any sense into me. You're just cheering me onto disaster.
Lug: Is that not why I'm your Conjunx Endura in the first place?
Pharma: (gets down on one knee)
First Aid: Oh my God! It's finally happening!
Pharma: (falls over)
First Aid: The poison is kicking in!

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Rumble: Hey Boss,
Soundwave: Yes?
Rumble: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Soundwave: ...
Soundwave: Where’s your brother?
Megatron: (dies again)
Megatron: Hey there Unicron, it's me, ya boi.
Whirl: Hey Cyclonus, are you free around 8pm this Friday?
Cyclonus: Yeah.
Whirl: (turns to Tailgate) What about you?
Tailgate: Yeah, I'm free.
Whirl: Good because I'm not, you two go on without me. Enjoy your date (leaves)
Tailgate: ...did he just...
First Aid: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.
Vortex: You're right, First Aid...violence can't be the answer.
First Aid: Correct, Vortex. Now, on to the next lesso-
Vortex: Violence is the question.
Vortex: And the answer is yes!
First Aid: Vortex, no!!
Hyperdrive: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Flamewar: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Slipstream: A realist sees a freight train.
Astrotrain: I see three idiots standing on the tracks.

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Misfire: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.
Spinster: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.
Misfire: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.
Rodimus: *staring at a picture* This is my favourite picture of the Lost Light crew. We're all so happy.
Ultra Magnus: Where's Getaway?
Rodimus: He wasn't part of the crew yet. That's why everyone's so happy.