Give Louise Jameson An Oscar

Ollistra: Well, you know what they say: Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen men!

Romana: What are you drinking? Leela: Vodka. Romana: Straight? Leela: No, lesbian.

Brax: I've started saying nonsense phrases at work like "that's neither cheese nor cheddar" just to see my coworkers nod like they understand

Leela: Tell me about your family. Narvin: I have one.

Brax: if you need anything, just ask Narvin: I- Brax: someone else.

Romana: Okay, Leela, I know you said you're okay, but I can tell you're not by the way you're gardening.

Brax: You know what my problem is? I'm too emotionally intelligent. I always know what people are thinking and feeling. It's impossible to have all that information and to not manipulate them. It's a curse.

Leela: People underestimate me because I'm human. What they don't understand is I am a strong woman. Leela: And that strength comes from my values, my courage, and my dogged pursuit of vengeance.

[on the phone] Romana: Leela, I'm breaking up- Leela: I'm pregnant. Romana: I meant the call. Leela: Right, sorry. I panicked.

Leela: There’s a special section in hell reserved for you. Ollistra: That’s good. I’d hate to wait in line.

Romana: Narvin, we have to find Leela. Narvin: Oh sure, let me just load my “Tap into every security camera in the Capitol” app. Narvin: I’m sorry if that sounded like sarcasm. It wasn’t, I am in.

Leela, comforting Narvin: You are not worthless. Organs are extremely expensive on the black market.

Romana: Narvin's right. Brax: He is? Narvin: I am?

Narvin: Still no sign that Romana’s in any real danger yet. Romana, from a distance: LET ME GO! Narvin: Technically, not a cry for help. Romana: HELP! Narvin: Well, not a cry for me. Romana: NARVIN! Narvin: Aw, dang.