Kail Rose

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

You've felt more accepted in groups as a rookie being hazed, because at least you could earn your place. With the task force you have no idea what you're doing wrong.

Everytime you walk into a room, they make no effort to hid the grimace they share.

Lips curled back, nose scrunched, brows furrowed. Indisputably a grimace, followed by an exhale. It's fucking humiliating. Do you smell bad? Is it because you're human? You know feline hybrids have sharp noses.

So you buy a new perfume, shower more and always spritz some on afterwards.

That, somehow, makes it worse.

Ghost leaves the room when you enter, gaz and soap always sit farthest from you, and even price turns sharp and stilted in his conversation. And they're always fucking grimacing.

Little do you know, that grimace is actually a flehmen response. A natural habit of feline hybrids to inhale scents better. Oh, and the reason they do it all the time with you? Because you smell amazing, mouthwatering.

Hannibal (2013-2015)

love my pumpkin

they don't know how to read and this makes them mean and dumb. also even though their meanness and dumbness are the result of poor education, they are still personal character flaws that deserve to be mocked.

they are responsible for wide scale censorship in schools and on social media. because, as we all know, children are famously politically powerful, never want to see horny or edgy content, and love it when books are banned in their school libraries.

they love to spread misinformation around so they can all armchair diagnose each other and act like they have learning disabilities in order to excuse their laziness about doing school work. obviously they are all liars and just need to just get their acts together and grow up instead of shirking responsibility for their actions like this.

they are uniquely cruel in comparison to past generations, and this is because of Phone. and also TikTok. no one has ever been cruel like this before.