I keep thinking this! very frustrating

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@imsodonewiththissite
I keep thinking this! very frustrating

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alternate metros jersey shane 🙂‍↕️
going on a guilt trip do yall want anything
if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask
affirmations:
- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position
- consciousness is a gift
- i CAN do this anymore
I would actually go as far as to say that MOST abuse is unintentional. I think most people will go through their lives without ever experiencing intentional abuse. People are abusive because they're selfish, because they're stressed, because they care more about what society thinks they should do than the impacts of their actions on their children and partners, because they think what they're doing is correct, because they've made it make sense in their own heads, because they think they can fix their victims, they think they can fix their relationships, they think they can stop you from leaving, they think they can make you a better partner to them, they think that means you need to do what they want. We've sort of constructed mental illness in a way that doing this shit to other people counts as a form of mental illness because it is anti social behavior in the literal sense— it is behavior that causes social harm.
I don't say any of this to excuse it. I think everyone needs to be more aware of this because if you think abuse has to be intentional you will never realize you are capable of abusive behavior. You will never realize you are being shitty to the people you love, because YOU know what you mean, YOU know you don't mean any harm. But you're doing harm. You need to pay attention to the impact you have on other people, and you need to do it all the time, Especially when you feel least capable of doing so. Sorry! You live in a society. Get your head out of your ass.

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Shane is spoiled. He knows that, his parents know that, his teachers, teammates, coaches, etc. He’s not blind to it. He would try in highschool but he couldn’t bring himself to care about algebra when his backhand needed work and he was preparing for international championships. Since he was first scouted for top youth teams at 10 and he started his first development camp, he knew he was headed to the NHL. His teachers had no problem passing papers that shouldn’t have passed, or folding to the weight of his mother’s emails when she demanded his homework be excused. Ms. Hammerson used to say, just remember little old us when you’re famous, dear and stamp an A on his lackluster book report. He’s an only child, an athletic prodigy, and the only grandchild on both sides of his family. Since he was 18, he’s been rich. Even before that, his family was comfortably middle class. He’s had twice weekly house cleaners, private nutritionists, prep chefs, personal trainors, agents, personal shoppers, stylists, wealth managers, accountants, his mother acting as conductor to everything, and so many more advantages. He’s used to hearing whatever you need, Shane. Don’t worry about it, Shane. Focus on the game, Shane, don’t worry about this. So yes, Shane is very spoiled. No is not a word he hears very often.Â
“No.”Â
They were sitting on his parent’s couch towards the end of their first summer in the cottage. Yuna and David were cooking and Shane was in the middle of watching a hockey game before Ilya, after a sideways glance, plucked up the remote and switched channels.Â
Shane blinks. “Give me the remote, Ilya.”Â
“Hm,” Ilya said, who is just as spoiled, but did grow up with an older brother. “Nope.”Â
“I was watching that game.”
“Is old recording,” Ilya said, flipping through channels without looking over. “It is my turn now.”
“Your turn?” Shane said. “This is my parent’s house. Give it.”
“Your parents house, my turn.”
Shane made to grab the remote and then Ilya did the unthinkable.Â
He yanked his hand up, away from Shane. “Go away, Hollander, I’m watching Ancient Aliens."
“Ilya.”
“Shane.”Â
That’s when Shane reached again and Ilya - Ilya flicked him.Â
“You - you!” And Shane pounced.Â
“Give me the remote!”Â
“Nyet!”Â
“You’re being a child!”
“You are not respecting turns!”Â
“Turn it back!”Â
The wrestled - Ilya only had one hand to fight with since the other was holding the remote far away from Shane’s grabby hands. Of course, neither one was using their full strength and Shane’s playful smile betrayed his actions. At one point, he tucked the remote under his chest and curled around it, but that led to Shane rolling them both off the couch. Now on the rug, Shane had just put hands on the edge of the remote when they heard a sharp -Â
“Boys!”Â
They both whipped their heads around to see a wide-eyed Yuna taking in the messed up couch, blankets strewn around, cushions everywhere, her son and his boyfriend tangled together on the rug, Shane's fingers brushing the remote Ilya was holding away from him.
Ilya, having more experience, immediately took the opportunity. “Yuna! Shane is not letting me have turn.”Â
“Shane,” her eyes zeroed in on Shane and narrowed. “Ilya is our guest.”
“But! Ilya isn’t a guest, he’s my boyfriend.”
“And he’s my guest. Honestly, you two.”Â
“I will clean pillows, Yuna,” Illya suggested sweetly.Â
“Thank you, honey.”
“But!”
“It would be nice for you to offer to clean sometimes, Shane,” Yuna uncrossed her arms.Â
“Yeah, Shane,” Illya smirked and it filled Shane with an unreasonable amount of rage.Â
“Dinner is almost ready,” Yuna said. “Shane, come help me.”
“But mom!”Â
Yuna turned to go back into the kitchen, catching her husband’s amused glance.Â
As Shane trudged into the kitchen, David told Yuna, “we always wondered what two would be like.”
“Mh,” Yuna said quietly as David wrapped an arm around her. “I haven’t seen Shane play like that for a long time.”Â
I hope you’re happy 💕
Prev how dare you leave this in the tags
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
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The U.S. Justice Department and 17 states have reached settlement agreements with three major egg producers over allegations of that the com
Thank goodness that justice is being served, and the companies that stole from every American family to the tune of tens or hundreds of dollars are being forced to pay less than one cent per person they affected!

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sometimes i have strong opinions but they're also so inane that halfway through writing a post i'll be like "yeah, this is Absolutely not worth the energy it's taking" and delete everything. but then the opinion is still in my head. and i still want to share it. so within five minutes i go "you know, i bet i can phrase it more succinctly this time" and anyway. you all see where this is going. sometimes i do this four times in a row before i give up on the specific inane opinion and instead write a vague post about the concept of opinions as if that'll satisfy the urge to post the entirety of my inner monologue online. may or may not be relevant to what you're reading right now. and now all our lives have been enriched. you're welcome
Most people on this website are literally this image
doing an apology video with genuine tears sobbing and wailing ripping my hair out and clawing at my face until i draw blood but i simply cannot describe what i did without laughing
ilya dutifully following cher's advice (insp. @smores100)
So this is not a plea for money. This is something that surprised me, and chatting with people on discord, they were unaware of as well.
Discovered last year I couldn’t look at my 2015 MacBook Air without it triggering nausea and migraines, and figured the screen died. Have been getting by on my phone, but concluded I really need a laptop again.
Saved up, realised I could afford a brand new MacBook Neo, and got one.
-And I couldn’t spend more than five minutes looking at the screen without massive eye strain, nausea, vertigo, and if I pushed it, I-need-to-lie-down-in-a-dark-room-for-hours migraines.
Looking up MacBook and Eyestrain explained what is going on. The liquid retina displays that Apple currently has uses Pulse Width Modulation or PWM. In order to give the screens a deeper depth of colour and contrast, PWM flickers between several hundred to thousand times a second.
And there is currently no way to turn it off. There are settings and apps to reduce it, but there is no way to stop the screen from flickering. Checked Apple forums, called Apple Support, and the time I could look at the screen kept shrinking. Got the laptop Tuesday, returned it Friday, today is Sunday and I’m still dealing with a vertigo migraine.
For MacBooks, it seems to vary on the computer model and the software it uses. In retrospect, the issue with my MacBook Air started after a major software update.
And it’s not just an Apple thing. Current Windows and Android screens do the same thing. There’s even a Reddit for people who are sensitive to PWM flickers to help find computers and screens that won’t trigger eyestrain and headaches.
So, yeah. This week has been a learning experience. But for those who are prone to headaches and migraines, this may be something to be aware of, cause I was not.

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ILYA ROZANOV WEEK: DAY FOUR FAVORITE TRAIT  ↪ HIS EMPATHY AND KINDNESS 🥺💕
“When our childhood homes are chaotic and dangerous, we learn that the way to stay safe is to always be on alert — hypervigilant. Our nervous system never calms down because it’s constantly on the lookout for the next bomb that is going to explode [...] As the show goes on, we will learn that underneath Ilya’s extremely hard shell is the heart of a squishy teddy bear wrapped in a warm blanket, but it takes YEARS for Shane to see it. When we look at Ilya through the lens of what he learned as he grew up, it makes sense why he behaves the way he does. We can even have empathy for the level of hypervigilance and fear he lives with. I like to lay things out this way because it’s usually a hell of a lot harder to give ourselves that same grace. We have an idea of who we “should” be in our heads, and when we don’t live up to that we assume it’s because we’re a failure, a useless waste of space. None of that is true: we are behaving in ways that make complete sense when we understand how our nervous system was trained to respond to our environment.” — Reading Ilya Rozanov through the lens of trauma.
heated rivalry + text posts // part eight.